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11. Whisper - Mirlotta (In Progress)

 

#7

Aug/2015

 

Finally, a love story that starts off as a tragedy. Sometimes it's nice to see a relationship develop through the hardships.

 

Let me start this off with the things I liked about this story.  

 

1. Your characters are absolutely brilliant. I can't tell you how many characters I come across, that are so shallow or dim witted. It makes the story hard to read. Never in the small collection of stories I've read, have I loved a male character more.  

 

2. The plot is fucking amazing. (Please excuse my language.) As I said before, I love how you've made this love story happen during a struggle. It'll further deepen the bond they'll make. Along with the TWIN brother being in a coma, how original can you get?  

 

There was only one thing I had a problem with. I'm aware you know what it is, as I've read the comments.  

 

1. You have a tendency to capitalize after your ellipses. Also there are moments when you forget to add commas. I won't be a broken record, as you're already aware of these problems. But these are the only faults I found while reading. It reads smoothly.    

 

I've favorited and liked it, as I can't wait to read what happens. I'm very tempted if I have time, to read more of your work. :)

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