Review Store

This is the place where you link me your story and I review it. ATTENTION NEW READERS: If you are here to leave me your story, please read the rules and read my later reviews (Chapters 30+) to decide if you like my style.


5. Thoughts of a Girl - Quoter, Cara <3 , Lady Artemis Wordsmith & Teya Renae (In Progress) (Stopped Reading)




This is my first review, and I would like to start off by saying it's an adorable little story!!



It's a co-author story but in the 7 chapters I read, I saw only one writing style. Unless the authors share the same style.    First, the good aspects I would like to share!     


1. The story in itself has a very nice plot. I enjoyed reading it as the main character continued on in her adventures. The main character Talia, has such a drive to live in the present! She never lingers in the past, it's almost as if it annoys her. A feature I admire. :)  


2. I enjoy how the conversation is separated from the story. It's such nicer then having it all clumped together. A clean way of reading it, without the mess of jumbled words.     


Secondly, I would like to point out there are a few flaws. But they are so insignificant it doesn't distract from the story.     


1. The first is the writing style, I imagine, this is a first time writer. So I expected the lack of various words, and the repetition of others. Such as 'I said', 'Julius said' or 'I laughed', 'Julius laughed'.    I brought this to the authors attention, and hope these small problems are fixed in newer chapters. :)   


2. The second flaw in this very adorably written story, is the lack of her other characters. The story was meant to be about the adventures these three best friends had. But all of the chapters so far are Talia's love problems. Which makes for an interesting read, but I would like to hear about the other characters, since it was supposed to about them as well.           


Those are the only flaws I found in this lovely story. Honestly, I can't wait to read what happens to this character. I hope to see her grow, and I can't wait to see how her summer comes to an end. Along with all the memories, her and her friends make! You should definitely give this story a read, the character in herself, is wonderfully entertaining. <3




Edit: 12/8/15 

Have stopped reading this story. When I first read it, it seemed like such a cute story and the main character had multiple attributes I admired. But since the first initial read there have been no updates and all mistakes stated above have not been fixed. 


I'm not perfect. I realize editing is a complete bitch. I also understand that work, school and life all come into play as well. But if the author above has time to mumble, interact with others and update other stories; surely she has the time to edit or work out story ideas.

My favorite has been removed and let this be a warning to other 'writer's block' or 'lazy' writers. If you make a reader wait too long before the next update, sometimes more often then not, they will leave.

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