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26. Cutlass - I'm Not Here (In Progress)

 

#22

Jan/2016

So this is just the edited version on Hoist the Colours? Okay, I can roll with that.

 

You've changed quite a bit. I don't remember this opening scene in the other story. Is this how the story starts? Or is it like the chapter is named, and just a preview?

 

I've just read through the whole thing and I wish there were more. I still don't know what to expect but I'm glad to see you haven't changed Morrow in the least!

 

 

Preview: 'Are you done yet? No? Okay, that fine.' I think that should be 'that's' :) I also find it's a bit hard to figure out who's speaking. There are moments when I think it's Morrow, but than based off something he's said I figure it could be the judge as well. Just take that into consideration :) Another thing that is simply easier for the reader is separating the dialogue from the text. You've done it a few times but there are some lines that are still connected to it. 

 

All in all I can't wait to see what you plan to do and I hope you don't mind another like and favorite. ;)

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