Lovely Madness

I had been in love before. Unlike most girls these days, my love was real. He was everything I had ever wanted from a man. He cared for me, he could make me laugh and smile, he kissed me like each one would be our last, he never hurt me. Until the day that he did. But even then, I couldn't stop loving him. I think a part of me still loves him now. When you fall so deeply in love with someone, you can't just stop.

Then out of nowhere, he came back. After leaving me alone for so long he had come back. I didn't want to let him in. I didn't want to feel things about him anymore. The thought of him drove me to madness. Passionate, heartbreaking, beautiful, lovely madness.

"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."


6. Chocolate

Sunday morning rain is falling 

Steal some covers share some skin 

I didn't remember turning on any music last night. I opened my eyes to the dimly lit room and my head felt like it could fall off my body. 

"Shit," I seethed.

 I didn't remember drinking that much either. It wasn't until I shifted in bed that I remember where my headache had come from. Honestly I didn't even know if Harry had slept in the same bed as me. I had been so deep in sleep that I couldn't feel or hear anything until that music.

 I threw my arms across the bed. Yep, Harry was gone. I rolled onto my side and my face collided with the pillow he used. I could identify his shampoo with no problem at all, especially since it seemed to be the same one he used in high school.

 I sat up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. It is so hot, why am I so hot? I threw the covers off of me and pulled my sweatpants off. I stumbled over to my drawer and dug through. Not a single pair of shorts, of course. 

"Oh come on," I groaned.

 I grabbed my sweatpants off the bed and pulled them back on. 

I knew Harry was still here. I could tell because he was playing one of my favorite songs, and part of me thought I heard his deep voice humming along with Adam Levine's. I opened the door and stood, staring down the long hallway. I smelled coffee and something I couldn't quite name.

 I slowly made my way down the hallway and stopped before I turned into the kitchen. The song had changed, some Sam Smith began to play and Harry sang along louder this time. I loved Sam Smith. He was my absolute favorite.

 I stepped into the kitchen and stared at the sight in front of me. Harry's back was to me, messing with something on the stove. His back muscles flexed and his arms were strained. I gazed at the tattoos that trailed up and down his arms. I kept my eyes locked on the ones that were covered by his t-shirt the other day. He had tattoos before he left, but not nearly as many. He had a pair of shorts on that obviously weren't mine. 

"Did you bring those with you?" I leaned up against the wall with my arms crossed in front of me. 

Harry jumped a little then turned around to face me. He looked so awake, but there was something brown all over his chest.

 "Um, no. I found them," he said quietly. 

Who the hell left shorts with me? That was something to worry about on a different day. I nodded and started walking towards him. 

"You have a little something on you," I pointed at his chest. 

He looked down at himself and shrugged. 

"I tried to make some chocolate sauce and I fucked it up," he gave me a boyish grin and I couldn't help but smile back.

 "All you do is melt it. It's not that hard," I said. 

He rolled his eyes then turned back to the stove. 

"I know you did not just roll your eyes at me," I snapped at him. 

I walked over and stood next to him.

 "'Fraid I did, sweetheart," he replied coolly.

I looked at his side profile and scanned my eyes over his face. I didn't realize how long I had been staring at him until he started laughing quietly. I looked away, not knowing what the hell I was doing.

"Something on my face?" His face met mine. 

I gave him a light half smile, trying to figure what I was suddenly feeling. 

"No," I said simply. 

The two of us just looked at each other for what felt like forever. I didn't want to think about last night, the way I freaked out. Harry was the one man I had ever loved in my life. Add to the fact that he was in trouble and I started feeling weird things.

 My mom had this weird way of telling me to move on. She loved Harry as much as anyone should have. From the day I first introduced him to her and my dad, she wanted us to be married. She said she was so happy to finally have someone who could be the son she had always wanted. 

My parents think of me as highly pessimistic. I won't lie and say that isn't true. But everyone could tell Harry brought out this hidden sunshine in me that no one else could. I hadn't realized it until he was gone. Snapping me out of my thoughts, Harry reached around me, going for the platesin the cabinet. 

"I can't believe you made me breakfast, Styles," I said. 

"It's been four years too long since you've had my breakfast casserole. I figured you'd need a little pick me up considering," he said as he stuck the spatula into the steaming dish.

 Four years too long. 

He handed me the plate and I quickly sat down. It was true, his food was to die for. He poured us each a glass of orange juice. 

We sat there eating silently until Harry decided to make me want to throw myself down six flights of stairs. 

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