Lovely Madness

I had been in love before. Unlike most girls these days, my love was real. He was everything I had ever wanted from a man. He cared for me, he could make me laugh and smile, he kissed me like each one would be our last, he never hurt me. Until the day that he did. But even then, I couldn't stop loving him. I think a part of me still loves him now. When you fall so deeply in love with someone, you can't just stop.

Then out of nowhere, he came back. After leaving me alone for so long he had come back. I didn't want to let him in. I didn't want to feel things about him anymore. The thought of him drove me to madness. Passionate, heartbreaking, beautiful, lovely madness.

"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."


1. Caramel

"Riley!" A high pitched voice yelled in my ear. 

My eyes shot open and I sat up in bed like I had never been asleep. I blinked a few times before my eyes landed on the little girl in front of me. 

"Are you okay? No blood, good amount of oxygen?" I grabbed her face and ran my hands all over it. 

She laughed at me, grabbing my fingers with her small hands. 

"Somebody is at the door," she said. 

I looked up above my bed to see rain falling outside of my window. 

"Oh shit," I whispered to myself. 

The rain wasn't what was surprising to me. It was that someone was at my door. People don't just randomly show up to my apartment, not even my obsessive mother. 

"Stay here." I got out of bed, grabbed a t shirt off the floor and threw it on over my sports bra. 

Stumbling to the door, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I realized what could be lying in wait for me. A baby. Maybe a super expensive present. Maybe a Swifer wet jet. Or someone ready to murder me... I crossed my heart and prayed I wouldn't die. I pulled open the door and squinted at the boyish figure. 

"Are you here to hurt me?" I yelled. 

The rain was so loud I thought it'd bust through the root. I think the guy said something but I couldn't understand him. If he was gonna do anything to me he'd have grabbed me by now. I decided to try and be a nice person for once in my life.

"Come in!" I grabbed his arm and pulled him inside onto the mat in front of the door. 

"Do you want some coffee? I had some brewing before I fell back asleep." I wiped the rain off my hand and hurried into the kitchen. 

I hadn't seen the man's face, I just turned away and ran. As I grabbed a coffee mug out of the cabinet, I realized something. Living in an apartment is different than a house, it's harder to just pick someone to strike. Knowing my luck I could be the new contestant on A Psychopath's Next Victim. I poured some coffee into the cup and let the steam hit my face. I bit my lip and stared down at the dark liquid for awhile, contemplating. 

"I've watched enough Law and Order. I'll be okay," I muttered to myself.

I grabbed some small creamer packets and a spoon.

"I have French vanilla cream and some mocha type stuff. Contrary to popular opinion-,"

"Caramel takes like shit," he interrupted me.

I looked up from balancing everything in my hand to meet his face. How did he know that? 


His face was bright, more defined than I remember. His dark brown hair had grown down to his shoulders, making his jawline stronger. His green eyes stared down deep into mine before he scanned me up and down. I slowly stepped closer and set the coffee down on the table next to the couch he was sitting on. 

"Riley I wanna see who it is!" Simone ran out. 

Harry immediately looked away from me and at Simone. She stopped in front of him and smiled. 

"I'm Harry," he stuck his giant hand out and smiled lightly at her. 

She just giggled and grabbed his hand. 

"Who's this?" Harry asked me, keeping his eyes on her. 

"Um... Simone. Simone, tell him about yourself," I muttered. 

"Simone Bold. I'm four years old and I live in Seattle and my favorite color is light yellow," Simone belted out. 

I couldn't help but laugh at her little memorized response. Harry's smile grew and he released her tiny hand.

"I'm sure you're a very delightful young lady." 

"Simone, Harry's an old friend of mine and I bet he'd love to get to know you. Why don't you go get our scrapbook. I put it in the blue box," I told her. 

She nodded happily and bounced off to her room. Harry looked back at me and I sat across from him in my armchair. 

"Don't tell me I got you pregnant before I left," he said. 

I rolled my eyes and rubbed my temples. 

"No, we were eighteen when you left. I wouldn't have let you get me pregnant," I snapped. 

He shrugged, twirled a ring that was sitting on his large finger. 

"Yeah, yeah. Take a joke. She just looks like you. Someone else get you- I mean... Yeah. She looks like you." 

I couldn't help but laugh. He was trying to use a filter, I appreciated that. 

"She's not mine, don't worry. She's my sister's," I said. 

"Ah," he nodded, "Dear old Natalie, how is she?" Harry leaned back into the couch and ran a hand through his hair. 

Fuck. I bit my lip again and scratched my neck. 

"She uh... She isn't exactly around anymore. She... passed after child birth. She was sick when Simone was born," I said quietly. 

Harry looked back into my eyes and sat up, rubbing his palms on his knees.

"I'm sorry. I didn't even know she was pregnant... Or that she was sick. I can't believe that she's..." He trailed off. 

"You guys didn't get along too well anyway," I shrugged.

I didn't want to talk about Natalie's death at all. I could talk about my sister for hours, but not about how she died.

"That doesn't mean it's no big deal that she passed. Where's the dad?" Harry asked. 

Fuck again. Harry and I had been together from the beginning of high school to graduation. We were both originally from San Diego and ended up both going to schools in Washington. My school was in Seattle and his about forty five minutes away. So we found an apartment and moved in together. Then he left. Not because his school was too far away or anything, he just left. 

He had been gone for two weeks when he called me back and said that he had some business to take care of. Me, being as extremely pissed off as I was, said nothing else of it. I let him go, didn't question him, I moved on. Then a few months after he left, Natalie had Simone. Simone's dad was in the military, Natalie had passed, and our parents lived too far away. She's been with me since she was born. 

"Military, he'll be back soon," I muttered. 

That was a lie. I had no idea when he'd be back. It didn't matter though, I'm all Simone has ever known. As long as she's with me, it's okay. Harry nodded and stayed silent. His eyes wondered around the apartment, falling to the far wall filled with picture frames. He stood up and made his way over to it. Most of the pictures were of Simone, or Simone and I. I had a few with some of my close friends, my parents, and my favorite picture of Natalie was in the middle. 

I had taken it when she graduated high school. We were five years apart so I was thirteen, but she was wearing her cap and gown, gripping her diploma in one hand and wearing her backpack from kindergarten. She smiled the same overly dramatic smile she always did, and posed like a kid on the first day of school. I looked at my sister and smiled. 

"It makes me happy knowing I look like her," I mumbled. 

Harry turned his head to look at me, then back at the picture.

"And that Simone looks like the both of you?" He asked. 

"Of course," I said. 

He took in all of the pictures one at a time. 

"I took this one. It was when we went to Hollywood," Harry took a few steps to the end of the wall. 

I got up and stood next to him, staring at the picture. I was laying in the grass, wearing a dress my mom had made me. My eyes were shut to block out the sun and I smiled at the camera above me. I could see Harry's shoe in the corner. 

"Yeah, I guess you did," I mumbled, "Harry what are you doing here?"

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