Never Be

Claudia had a simple life in Sydney Australia.

She spent her days wondering what her future will hold with her 4 best friends.

She has dreams, they have dreams... but do happy endings exist?

This is the REAL world.

She has conflicting feelings about one boy in particular, but to him, they are just friends.

But with hope can a friendship grow into something more?

Read to find out!

(5sos not famous)


10. 'So long, and goodnight...'


February 20, 2006


Claudia's POV


I just finished loading my stuff in the rental 7 seater van. We were going on a road trip to Adelaide. We had two, in this one was me, my mom, Lucas, Liz, and Ashton; in the other Karen, Michael, Joy, Calum, and Anne Marie. I was so glad I was with Lucas and Ashton because they were the most quiet. Ben and Jack went on the trip with our dads, and Mali said she was too old to go now and is staying at her cousins. I don't blame her, she's saving herself. Lauren is still too young to come and is staying at her grandmum's with Harry.

*14 hours later*

We were 10 minutes away from our cottage in Adelaide. The trip here wasn't that bad, Ashton slept for half of it and Lucas and I talked the whole way and I think I almost went unconscious from lack of oxygen from all my laughing. See, that's my problem, I'm such an easy laugher.  Our mums sat up front of course, switching every now and then to drive. Ash Lucas and I decided we should all sit in the back so we can talk easier and we put our luggage in the middle seat area. Liz suggested I sit in the middle to prevent teasing because she apparently thinks I'm trust worthy. HAHAHAHAHA NO. People assume with our 2 year difference at our age we wouldn't talk much, but he is very mature for his age, to some extent of course, he's still a 9 year old dirty minded boy.

I checked the time, it was 10:00 at night, but it was still warm. I looked over, and Lucas fell asleep with his blonde head resting on my arm. I sighed and looked ahead of me at the dark night. I liked the night, it made me feel my most powerful, like I was at my full potential at night. I felt something bump my left shoulder and saw Ashton had decided my shoulder was more comfy than the window. I don't blame him, the window shakes and makes your head feel like its a brain smoothie. It didn't really bug me that they rested their heads on me, it made me feel special and I love the boys and I liked that we were close and they could comfortably sleep on me without being weird about it.


*10 minutes later*

"Lucas, Ash, wake up were here!" Liz joyfully called. Joy parked beside us on the large driveway, and I hopped out of the car and stretched.

I turned around and faced a large wooden cottage. Nothing too spectacular, not run down either. Comfortable, you can say I guess.

We all grabbed our own luggage and the moms grabbed the groceries they bought earlier on this morning. Thinking about this morning reminded me of the trick Mikey and Cal played on me. Little shits. Maybe I'll put raccoon shit in their cocoa puffs.

" C'mon guys! Let's check this place out!" Well, Lucas looked fully awake now. I laughed as I followed 4 crazy boys into the cottage. They were obviously much faster and more energetic than me, and they were inside before me as I struggled to keep open the door while trying to get my luggage up the doorstep. Liz came to my rescue and held the door for me and I finally got my bags in and she ran back to the van to unload. 

I turned around and my mouth fell open in awe. This place was huge! The first thing you see as you enter in is a massive living room, with one of those old T.Vs with the box at the back. Beside it was a kitchen, and on the other side was a large window with a beautiful porch and a lake view. In the center of the large bottom floor was a staircase leading to what I assumed was the bedrooms. Almost everything was made of wood too.

"Yo, Clauds, if you keep your mouth open like that, your gonna catch flies" Michael laughed and I flipped him off proudly. He pretend to look hurt and shocked, but instead looked like he was gasping for air desperately with his hand on his heart and we both laughed.

"This place is so cool though!"

"I know, I wanna see whats up there."

"Me too, I think its the bedrooms, but..."

"But what?"


"Hey!" They all screamed and they dropped their bags and ran to try to catch up with me, but I was already halfway up and left my bags at the bottom of the stairs. As I was nearing the top, man there's a lot of stairs, I heard Calum trip over one of my bags and say "Aweee!"

I laughed and turned around to see, and saw that he quickly got back on his feet and the other 3 were already halfway up with looks of hunger and desperation on their faces to get that bedroom. I shrieked and bolted up the last 3 steps. I looked to my left and right, but all doors were closed, so I had no way of telling which room was what. I then saw one open door to my left and my nerves kicked in and carried my legs over there. 

I made a speedy run there, and slid to a stop as I realized it was only a washroom. I turned around to run again, But someone grabbed me at the bottom of my thighs and lifted me so my hips bent over their shoulder. I gasped in shock and grabbed onto the back of the shirt for more support of whoever was carrying me. I studied the persons back and clothes and I recognized the smell. Don't get me wrong it was a nice smell, and the smell of clean clothes, boy and drumsticks belonged to the one and only Ashton Irwin. I lightly punched his back and yelled to put me down.

"Nope! And how did you know it was me?"

"I recognized your clothes and your smell, not that you smell bad" I confessed.

"What? How do you recognize my scent? That's weird are you a dog?" He teased

"No asshole, I recognize the smell of drumsticks on you, and the only reason I know how they smell like is because of the hundreds in your room make your entire room smell like wood! Its as strong as nail polish!" 

"Haha, true." 

Also because I've been around him all my life, I know his natural scent. Yes, yes. I know it sounds weird but think do you ever smell a pine tree or a perfume and it reminds you of someone? That's my point. When you recognize someones scent, that means you care and think about that person a lot and enjoy their presence, or you really hate them. Either or, that person has impacted your life in some sort of way. When my mom calls me weird, I say 'Didn't you ever want to know the way your fav band member smelled? When you were dating dad, didn't you breathe in deep to smell him and his presence when you hugged? Or almost fainted when you got a whiff of that boys cologne in the school hallway?' 'Touche my daughter', she would respond. See, that's my point.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the front door close. I looked up to see Anne calling us over. Ashton never put me down and the mothers looked at us as if I was actually on my feet like normal, even though they could probably only see my butt.

"Okay kids, their is only 4 single bedrooms and one master. So, what is happening is we all get the singles, and we put the luggage in the master and you sleep on the porch outside."

"What!" I recognized it was Lucas. I gripped onto Ashton's shirt as I heard the kids arguing with our parents but they held their ground.

"You all need to be outside more and sleeping on the porch is the best way!" I noticed it was my mother. 

"Guys! Guys!" I called from behind Ash,

"I know my mother, and I know that voice, their lying."

"Heyyyy!" The boys whined. The moms laughed.

"Alright, so we ARE getting the singles, and there is a queen and king bed in the master and you all can share that room." My mom replied. I guess our moms brought up our bags and I put my head straight like normal so I could see what Ash sees but from an upside down POV. I saw him pick up his two bags in one hand while his other still held tight to my legs. I silently thanked god he was a drummer because that meant he had stronger than average arms for a twelve year old. 

"Ashton, where are my bags?"

"Lucas, Calum and Mikey each took one for you since they saw you are currently occupied." He said cheekily. He walked with me into the room and he walked backwards towards the bed and told me to put my hands on it for support as if I was doing a handstand. He dropped his bags and grabbed my ankles and pushed me behind him, so I flipped over and landed on my back with a bounce and I laughed with amusement, it was actually fun.

"Okay guys, we can have two in the queen and three in the king," Cal started.

"So, what we'll do, is separate Lucas and Michael so they don't kill each other in their sleep, and we will go from there. So, since Lucas is smaller he will go in the king and Mikey in the queen. Claudia will go in the king so Mikey can't bug her." Cal joked.

"Hey! I'm not gonna bug her!" He defended as we all laughed.

"Okay, so then because Claudia is the only girl, I think she will be most comfortable with Ash, and Mikey and I are good sharing a bed too."

I thought it made sense, Cal and Mike are close like me and Ash, and Lucas is close with all of us, so he gets a bonus in a way I guess. 


*1 hour later*


We were all unpacked and we all had on our bathing suits.

"Kids! Get on your swim gear, we are going on an official house tour then straight to the lake!" my mum said as I heard her approaching our room

"Oh. Looks like you are all ready!" 


We went on a further cottage tour, and saw that the porch actually went all the way around the house and that our master bedroom had a large bathroom with a bath and separate shower and 2 sinks. The master had a balcony that gave us a view of the lake behind our cottage. The lake was beautiful, and it had the same name as my mothers birth name; Szatania. Lake Szatania.

Now that we knew what the place looked like and we were organized, we went for a midnight swim, but me being me, only went in for 10 minutes because the water was ice, and I hate cold water.

By 1 am my hair was dry and the boys were tired so our mums rounded us up and we went inside to dry up and go to bed.


*1 hour later*


I lied in the bed with Ashton on my left and Lucas to my right, an we all said our good nights. 

Hearing the boys say goodnight sent off a bell in my head.

I whispered, "So long, and goodnight." to myself, because it was a line from one of my favorite songs 'Helena' by one of my favorite bands, My Chemical Romance. Emma introduced them to me awhile back, and I fell in love with their sound. I guess I wasn't quiet enough because Michael asked

"Was that Helena?"


"I love MCR."

"Me too! Can we sing it? Quietly to not wake our mums."

"Guys?" The boys sat up and we all cleared our throats.


'Long ago

just like the hearse you die to get in again

we are

so far from


Burning on

just like a match you strike to incinerate

the lives 

of everyone you know

and whats the worst you take

from every heart you break

and like the blade you stain

well I've been holding on tonight.

Whats the worst that I can say?

Things are better if I stay

so long and goodnight

so long

and goodnight.' 

We all whisper-sung. Personally I thought it sounded beautiful, even though it was whispers, and in order to sing MCR right, you can't whisper. Lucas had a really good voice for being only 10, I was surprised. Actually, this was the first time I heard the boys sing, but they heard me millions of times because if you said one thing that reminded me of a song I will put on a musical for you. I mean, I heard them sing, but singing in the shower and hearing Ash mumble a few words in while drumming doesn't really count. They sing very well for their young age. We all laid back down and I got lost in my crazy thoughts about my future and fell asleep.

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