My Clarity - A Zayn Malik Fanfic.

You never choose who you fall in love with, but you do choose whether or not you want a person in your life anymore. So if our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?
**The boys are not famous in this story!**
Wattpad link (not a duplicate):


1. Prologue.

*Lola's P.O.V.*

"Show me what you got, Malik!" I challenged, holding up my Xbox 360 controller. "A'ight, you asked for it,  Charlie." he smirked, as he looked at the flatscreen tv on my wall.

I hated being called Charlie. Everyone called me Lola. But somehow, whenever he said it, it made me feel like I was on top of the world. This boy does something to me, something that isn't supposed to affect me in such a way.

"Hey, that's not fair! Cheater!" he exclaimed, looking at me wide-eyed in disbelief. "Nothing's fair in love and war." I smirked, as I won the game that we were playing. "You know, I probably would've had a fight with you if I didn't love you so much." he said, inching closer to me. "Oh, really?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "I loooovee yooouu, Chaaaaaarrrrrliiiiieeeeee." he said, stretching out every syllable in his thick Bradford accent. "And I hate you, Zaynie." I whispered before jumping off of the couch and walking away.

I smirked as I saw him following me like a lost puppy from the corner of my eye. I walked a little faster, and into my bedroom. As I quickly turned around to shut my door, he placed his large foot in the little space left between the door and the doorframe.

"As much as I love your gameroom, I don't like being without you." he pouted, looking like a 10-year-old. "Oh, is that so?" I held my grip on the door firmly and twirled a lock of my curly auburn hair around my fingers. "Yes, I love you." he whispered, before using all his strength to push open the door, sending me tumbling down and onto the soft fluffy carpet on my floor.

"Ouch," I cried, pretending to be hurt. "Babe, are you alright?" Zayn jumped onto me and looked into my eyes. "Nope, the pain has increased, thanks." I said as I pushed him off of me and smacked his arm playfully.

I'm not going to lie, I actually liked what he did. But I just had to push him off before I did something crazy. Like kiss him. As much as I'd love to do that, he's managed to become a really close friend in a short amount of time, and I'd rather be alone and wait for him, than confess my liking towards him so early into our friendship and lose him for good.

A wide grin placed itself upon his perfect lips as his eyes searched mine. He got closer to me, and it was taking me everything in my power not to grab his flawless face and- Okay, I need to stop.

"What are you thinking about, love?" he whispered in his husky voice. "N-nothing." I stuttered. Damn it! Now he knows I'm lying. Curses, what have I done?

"Don't lie, babe. You trust me, right?" he asked, and I swear, I saw him look at my lips for a second. Just a second, though. I self-consciously pressed my lips together, discreetly spreading the lipbalm that I'd applied earlier, all over my lips.

"Do you even have to ask?" I finally managed to say without stuttering. "I love you, Charlie." he said simply, with a charming smile.

I tried to say something - anything, but I suddenly felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I blinked a few times and shook my head. I looked around and realized that Zayn wasn't here with me anymore. A profound memory had just played itself in my mind like a video.

It felt like one of those moments in movies and tv shows where the characters have a flashback and it almost seems real. And it did, it felt as real as it gets.

I frowned as I thought about that day. Memories should make you happy, right? But this one didn't. It made me want to cry. It made me want to slap Zayn. But mostly, it made me want to be in his arms again, listen to him tell me that he loves me and tease me, play video games with me, hangout with him all day, and call him up at ungodly hours to complain about how I can't sleep.

The truth was, I missed Zayn. I shouldn't, but I just do. My friends tell me to forget about him, and that he's not such a good friend, so he doesn't deserve me. But it wasn't that easy.

It hurts, knowing that he meant the world to me, and I meant absolutely nothing to him. He doesn't even look me in the eyes anymore. Either he's ashamed of what he's done, or he just doesn't care anymore.

I quickly got off my bed and walked out, not wanting to think about him and crying my eyes out again. I ran down the stairs and made my way to the front door before yelling, "Going out, mum. I'll be back before dinner!" and getting out of my house before I even stopped to listen to my mum's response.

I slowed down as I looked around and saw that I wasn't in the vicinity of my house anymore. I stood next to a lamp post for a few minutes, panting for air. I faught back tears, trying to regain some element of my composure. It was getting really hard for me to not fall to the ground, bawling my eyes out, but it was worth the try.

A few warm tears ran down my face as I internally cursed myself. I quickly wiped them away and starting walking away.

I looked up at the sky. It was dreary and decorated with dark grey clouds, perfectly matching my current mood. I sighed, walking to the lake nearby, which was one of my favorite places to just sit and clear my mind.

After about an hour, I decided to head home. As I walked with my hands in my pockets, I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out and found a text from my bestfriend Kate.

From *Kate<3* : Hey, can we talk?

To *Kate<3* : Sure, I'm not home right now, so don't come over.

From *Kate<3* : I'll tell you rn. I'm having boy trouble.

To *Kate<3* : What kind of boy trouble? Are you okay?

From *Kate<3* : I think I'm falling for someone. I'm not okay.

To *Kate<3* : Who is that someone? Why aren't you okay?

From *Kate<3* : Zayn. But he's not interested, bc everytime I try to talk to him, he blows me off.

I felt my heart drop down to my stomach. I'd never exactly told Kate about what happened with Zayn. She only knew that we used to be friends and we just drifted apart.

To *Kate<3* : He used to do the same to me before our falling out. I eventually gave up on trying to talk to him.

From *Kate<3* : I like him way too much to stop talking to him!

Maybe I didn't like him enough, that's probably why I gave up so easily. I thought it'd save me the pain, but I was wrong.

To *Kate<3* : Good luck, then. Maybe he'll come around.

From *Kate<3* : Thanks! I'm gonna eat ice cream and watching chick flicks now. Love you.x

I didn't bother replying, not because I didn't care, but because I'd end up in tears again pretty soon. Something tells me that I should tell her the truth about me liking him back when we were friends and possibly still having feelings for him, but I didn't want to ruin things for her, and he isn't even in my life anymore. But I still I felt like I owed that much to my bestfriend.

I put my thoughts to rest as I reached my front door. As I walked in, I saw my parents watching TV. I guess my little brother was asleep.

"Hey, honey. Where are you back from?" my mom asked from the living room. "Just went out for a walk." I replied, walking into the living room. "Are you okay?" my dad asked, looking away from the TV. "Yeah, I am now, I just needed to clear my head." I replied with a hint of a fake smile. "If you need to talk, we're here, okay?" my mom said with a reassuring smile. "I know. I'll be in my room, good night." I said as I walked upstairs to my room.

As I sat down on my bed and prepared to go to sleep, I tried as hard as I could not to think and Zayn and hoped that I'd get at least 5 hours of sleep.


**(A/N): Hi everyone. I found this incomplete story that I wrote 2 years ago in my drafts section today and I thought I'd complete it and post it. I'm gonna keep this story really short, (min. 5 chapters, max. 10 chapters) because I'm currently in my final year of high school and I'm afraid I won't have time to update (which has happened with my other ongoing stories, and I'm sure people who were reading those stories hate me now), so a long story is not in the best interests of everyone. Hit that "Vote" button if you like this story! Thanks for reading.xx**

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