Hold Me While I sleep

17 Year old Lana, is what every guy looks for in a girl.
She's attractive, intelligent; and way too sarcastic for her own good. At school, the 'relationship' shared between herself and the star rugby player, Kenneth, their closeness changing with each school week.
But when eccentric new boy, Noah, shows up, Lana begins to receive a series of letters she never expected to get.
That leaves only one thing; who's leaving the mysterious love notes?
And who really means them?


1. Prologue

Sometimes I forget that I'm actually alive.

I know that probably sounds strange to you, because well, if you're here you technically are alive - but being alive isn't always the same as being, well alive. I spent a long time trying to tell myself that it was all in my head, and that maybe it was just one big mistake.

You didn't mean to leave me and that you actually cared.

Truth is, I'm not even sure if you ever cared for me at all, to be honest. From personal experience, when you love someone, you would do anything within your power to make sure that nothing ever hurt or made them feel like nothing. That's how I felt about you anyway. I remember laying with you in those evenings, and holding you while you fell apart, trying desperately to glue together your broken parts and to make them work again.

I think I did a pretty good job really.

What I didn't realise was that every time I fixed part of you, a little part of me broke. With each newly functioning you, there became less of me. That's why you became the fixer.

The truth about that though, is that you weren't particularly good at that. While you were with me, I could feel myself become happier. You became my lifeline, much like a ventilator. That's why when you left me, I felt like I no longer had the stability to continue; the very thing that became the reason to live, made me want to end everything.

Then you left for good.

Not even a fucking reason as to why you were leaving me to fend for myself - you just disappeared.

I suspect more prettier girls, and less broken people were the reason for that. Heck, I knew I didn't deserve you; I'm nothing. No gorgeous looks, not a personality of gold, just.. Me.

I'm even aware that your mother thought I wasn't good news for you - but whatever you believe, just remember what I did for you.

Remember me when I was a beautiful soul.

Because the darkness is taking over and I can't stop it.

I'm so tired - so... Finished.

Hold me while I sleep for eternity?

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