Hold Me While I sleep

17 Year old Lana, is what every guy looks for in a girl.
She's attractive, intelligent; and way too sarcastic for her own good. At school, the 'relationship' shared between herself and the star rugby player, Kenneth, their closeness changing with each school week.
But when eccentric new boy, Noah, shows up, Lana begins to receive a series of letters she never expected to get.
That leaves only one thing; who's leaving the mysterious love notes?
And who really means them?


7. Finalising what I want.

Lana's P.O.V:

I watched with lazy eyes, as Kenneth formed an 'O' with his mouth, breathing out so that a small hoop of smoke came from his lips before wafting into the air.

Laying on his bare chest, his skin against mine, I breathed in the air, the smell of smoke filling my lungs.

Smoking wasn't something I liked; for years, I myself had smoked, no matter how illegal it was. But as I got older, I decided to pack it in, if not for my health, then for my bank balance. Most of the time, I didn't miss it - yet times like these, I would literally rugby tackle anyone for a quick smoke, if it were not for my strong will and stubborn nature.

Kenneth looked at me, a sly smile on his face as he narrowed his eyes on mine and blew his next drag into my face.

Scrunching up my nose, I batted at the air. "Don't do that," I said firmly, as he tipped ash into a cup on my bedside table. "Or that, for that matter. I drink out of that," 

Or at least, I did.

"Don't worry yourself, baby cakes," He replied calmly, putting out the cigarette on the plastic side table. For a moment, he closed his eyes, one arm wrapped around my torso. "I got this,"

I know what you're thinking; Lana, what are you doing screwing with such a douche?

And, I assure you I have a reasonable explanation.

Well, fairly reasonable. 

To put it quite simply - it was fun.

How many girls could say that they had the star football player spending the night with them, blowing smoke rings into their bedroom? Okay, so maybe it was only for the sex, but who cares.

Within our society, there's such awesome attitudes to sex... if you're a guy.

But, if you have a vagina, and you go and do something with anyone; well slut shaming isn't even the word.

So, children, today you have learnt a valuable life lesson; if you're a male, it's totally okay to screw around the school.

Duh, silly me.

"Why are you here, Kenneth?" I asked the boy, my eyelashes fluttering against his bare chest as blinked.

"That's a bit of a stupid question..." He whispered almost silently, his hand brushing back stray strands of hair which swam around my head, hooking them behind one of my ears. His hands were warm against my skin.

"I mean it," Partially sitting up, my eyes met Kenneth's dark ones, which were furrowed in confusion. "Every time you do the same thing; ask if I have a free house, screw me, leave, and then tell all your mates about what happened. Why?"

Shrugging slightly, his eyebrows smoothing out of their frown, he began to stand up.

"I don't know," He admitted, before facing me.

There he was, in his full glory. Well, if you'd call it glory.

Ignoring the boy's nudity, I pulled the thin blanket which lay across the bed around my body, though not out of shame. Turning to find his underwear, Kenneth began pulling his clothes back on, facing away from me.

His butt is so tiny.

Shut up.

"This stops, now," Finally, I broke the silence with a firmness in my voice that shocked even myself.

The boy paused from his changing, and turned to face me with a bunched up t-shirt in his fist. His jaw clenched slightly, and he opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Closing his mouth, he tried again.

"I'm not sure... I understand..." He said in a strained voice. Though he seemed insecure in himself, I couldn't help but feel slightly on edge. I mean, the guy wasn't exactly tall, but he was huge. Footballer's usually were.

"I can't do this any more... no...." Correcting myself, I shook my head slightly. "I don't want to do this any more,"

"Lana..." Kenneth's voice trailed off, and he frowned further, his t-shirt still clenched in his hand. "Why are you being like this?"

"Because, I'm not a game, Ken,"

"But we're made for each other..." Finally straightening out and pulling his shirt over his head, Kenneth looked at me questioningly once it was around his neck.

"If we're made for each other," I replied with a sad smile, pulling my legs up. "Then this is the most fucked up love story ever,"

For minutes, me and Kenneth stood looking at one another, our eyes not parting. But eventually, he shrugged slightly, with a forced smile as he picked up his bag.

"Sleep well, Lana," He said quietly, as he opened my bedroom door, and walked out with out so much as glancing over his shoulder.

He never was one for goodbye's.



Waking up the next morning was a bitch.

I had to physically drag my own body out from under the bed covers, carrying myself over to the cupboard in order to find some fresh clothes. Still naked, I walked out onto the landing with a bundle of clothes in my arms, ignoring the shouts from my younger sibling, who just happened to be facing out her bedroom door as I walked past and into the bathroom.

"Fucking clothes!" She yelled, just before I closed the door. "Learn to wear them, bitch."

"Charming," I muttered, locking the door behind me and turning to switch the shower onto a high heat.

After a few moments standing in the cold room and waiting for steam to rise from the water, I stepped into the bath, feeling the warm water hit my back.

Shower's were like my favourite time of the day; minus lunch time.

Once I had cleaned myself, I got changed into my clothes, ran a black liner over my lids and ran downstairs, grabbing an apple from the counter before belting it outside.

As I left, I heard an exasperated groan from my sister, as she found her missing breakfast.

"Nick, my boy," I greeted my friend as I got to his road, the sight of him balanced on the road sign causing a slight smile to tug at my lips. I bit into my apple. "Any interesting stories for me?"

Jumping from the rectangular sign and falling into stride with me, a tuft of his flame red hair bouncing back slightly as he moved.

"Dad hit Jamie again last night," He said, nodding his head curtly. "It was around 2 am-ish, totally uncalled for,"

I stifled a giggle.

The argument between Nick's Dad, and Jamie - his Mum's new boyfriend - was an ongoing process of healing. For six years now, the middle aged men had been getting up in each other's grills, and using the other like a punching bag.

As an onlooker of the whole hooha, I can tell you - it was the funniest shit.

"Ooh, I bet you had a lovely night," Snorting slightly, I raised an eyebrow at the boy. He grinned, showing of perfect teeth, the result of three years of braces.

For a moment, Nick simply stared at me, before he narrowed his eyes. "Why are you so happy?" He asked me, biting his bottom lip.

Grinning, I shrugged slightly. "Can't a girl have a little happiness sometimes?"

"Well, no..." He shook his head, eyes wide. "Not if it means you're secretly brewing with anger, ready to I don't know, wax my eyebrow's again!"

Okay, so I had to admit; the eyebrow situation hadn't been one of my best plans, but I chuckled at the memory nevertheless.

"Hey, those red brows suited you, Bro," I laughed quietly, as we continued to walk to Sixth Form. "Nah, I'm just in a good mood, that's all,"

Looking at me with a questioning expression, Nick kept quiet.

"Hey, guys! Wait up!" Continuing to walk forward, both Nick and I sped up our pace at the sound of the voice behind us. "Guys!"

She was too close for us to run off.

"Morning, Lana!" Naomi chirped happily, falling into step with me and her brother. Her perky attitude for today matched the bright pink, embroidered dress which she wore.

The ruffles were making me gag.

"Er, morning," I replied to the girl, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Any plans for today?" The girl asked, a smile still on her face as she gazed at me intently. "Or how about you, Nick?"

Her attempt to include her brother was all that it took for me to shake my head in confusion, and bite into my apple as I shrugged in response to her question.

"Aw, cute," Naomi smiled at me, her eyes beaming before she let out a puff of air. "Well, I gotta get going!"

Hiking her flowered rucksack up her back, the girl jogged off, her dress billowing slightly behind her in the wind.

"Okay, so that was fucking weird," Nick muttered once she had rounded the corner in front of us. Narrowing my eyes, I continued to watch on, thoughts ticking through my mind.

Wasn't it just...


Author's Note:

So I have way too much time on my hands right now... 

Tell me what you think! 


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