Broken

“People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places, like secret road maps of their personal histories, diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our old wounds heal leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don’t. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut’s long gone, the pain still lingers.”
- Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy)

Fifteen-year-old Felicity Pierce is happy with her life - she is lively, confident and outgoing. She makes people laugh and is liked by everyone. Most of all, she has Ryder Brooks, her best friend since childhood, whom she considers family. They are inseparable - or, are they?

A turn of events forces Felicity to move to London, leaving her old life behind. She does come back to finish her final year of High School, but she isn’t the same.

She's broken; shattered in a way that she can't even face her best friend.

Some wounds aren't meant to be healed.

Maybe even Ryder can't heal her.

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1. Felicity

- Felicity -

( Flashback )

This is it.

The day that Ryder and I have dreaded ever since my parents delivered the terrorizing news. Ever since childhood, Ryder and I have been inseparable. It's unbelievable that my parents are doing this to me, to us. I'm not too surprised though. In the past fifteen years, Ryder has been more of a parent to me than my birth parents ever have. I have spent more time having all nighters with Ryder than I have ever spent on the rare family dinners that we have. My parents have never really cared about my grades. This is why I was shocked when they told me that they were sending me all across the world to the United Kingdom for, and I quote, "better and healthier education."

Dragging my handbag as I walk out of my front door, I turn around to face my best friend since I discovered the fact that blue looks so much cooler than pink, Ryder Brooks.

"I'm going to miss you loads, Ry," I say for the millionth time in the past ten minutes.

"Oh," Ryder smirks. "I know. I can't say the same, though." His sheepish expression quickly turns serious once he sees my glum face.

Pulling me into a bear hug, he ruffles my hair and says, "Aw, Ellie. You know I'll miss you more."

"Come on, we sound like some cheesy couple now," he jokes after a few moments in a weak attempt to lighten the mood. I manage to crack a smile.

Just as my eyes start to water, I give his flimsy figure a tight squeeze and pull back. I honestly do not know how I will survive without him. Ryder has always been there to support me through the infamous ups and downs of life. No matter what, he has always been right by my side and I love him for that. It is only for a few years, I tell myself. I'll be back soon and everything will be okay.

Ryder has always been better at hiding his feelings than I have, but even when he gives me a reassuring smile as we part ways, I can see that it is taking him a lot of willpower to stay strong. I know my best friend well and it isn't long before his façade will come crashing down.

"I can't wait to come back," I whisper, taking hurried steps away from him, hoping I wouldn't break down before I am seated in the plane.

***

"But dad," I whine through the phone, "I don't want to go back there. I like it here."

"There are no ifs and buts Felicity; you know we can't afford to pay your tuition fees anymore." I snort at the use of the term 'we'. My parents never really got along, so after all these years of agony; they finally decided to call a divorce. Though, my dad has been seeing other women so I won't be surprised if I have a stepmother sometime in the future. Of course, that won't be happening anytime soon.

"That's crap, dad, and you know it. How come you can't afford to pay for the tuition all of a sudden? Last time I checked, we didn't have any financial problems."

"Don't use that tone with me. Now, try to understand the ... er -situation. Look, Felicity," dad sighs, "I know this is unfair of me, and this is out of the blue -"

"You think?" I interrupt sarcastically.

"- but you need to be back by Friday, so that you can start school from Monday. You'll need a day or two to settle in."

"Besides," he continues, "I thought you hated it there."

My dad doesn't get it, does he? To be completely honest, I don't know why I'm arguing with him. He's right, because I do hate it here. Not the city or the school, just a bunch of people who've made me regret ever coming here. Still, I can't seem to convince myself that going back and facing everything that I left behind is a better option than living in this monstrous place.

Which is why, I lie. "Er - no...I actually quite like it around here."

"Also," I argue, trying to sound convincing, "I really don't want to leave my friends." Lie. I've lost a countless amount of friends over the months, which, on the bright side, made me realize who my true friends really were.

"I'm sorry Fel, there's nothing I can do. Your flight departs at eight thirty in the morning this Friday. I have already emailed you the tickets. Ryder will pick you up from the airport. See you then! Take care. I love you."

Knowing that it is pointless to argue, I finally give in. "Fine, whatever," I mumble with a sigh.

"Wait, what?" I exclaim as his words finally register in my mind, but it's too late because the line is already dead.

I repeat them over and over again in my mind.

Ryder is going to pick me up from the airport.

Oh, my God.

Ryder Brooks is going to pick me up from the airport.

Isn't this is exactly why I don't want to go back? The irony of the situation makes me want to laugh. True, my life there would probably be much better than the one I have here. Hell, my life here has been nothing but heart-shattering.

But, I ask myself, am I ready to face him? Him and everything else I left behind?
Of course I'm not. Not yet. I know that sooner or later I'd have to man up and face him, but the mere possibility of seeing him again makes me want to bury my face ten feet under the ground.

I'm too scared, too ignorant, too weak.

I knew it was wrong to ignore his calls and texts, but what is a girl supposed to do? A year after moving here, I had done exactly what I feared I would do - I'd cut all ties with him, and the rest of my friends.

Somehow it felt wrong to continue talking to Ryder after I met him. Like my best friend would take offence to me falling for another man. I couldn't tell him about it either - it just felt wrong. You know that strong feeling in your gut that warns you against something, and you have no explanation for it whatsoever, but you do it anyway?

So I did what any other coward would do - I disappeared off the face of Earth.

But now that meeting him is inevitable, the possibilities of what could possibly be his reaction start to irk me.

Will he be happy to see me? Probably not.

Will he notice how much I've changed over the past three years? Probably yes.

Will he be disappointed in me? Definitely yes.

Will he have replaced me? I shiver at the thought. No, he wouldn't have. That's not something Ryder would do. But then again, who would have thought how much a span of three years can change? And even if he would have, I wouldn't blame him. It was my fault, after all.

Does he even remember me?

I'm freaking out; I know I am so I decide to snap out of all the negativity and to busy myself with packing. Once I'm done, I'm so exhausted that I don't even hear Heather, my best friend, enter the room and collapse on the bed next to mine.

As I fall into deep slumber, I pray that my nightmares don't pick tonight as the night to haunt me, like they have been over the countless sleepless nights.

Thursday will be my last day in this atrocious place and even though I'm terrified to go back, deep inside, a small part of me couldn't be more relieved to leave.

~

still new to movellas; hoping my writing improves over time :) feel free to drop in feedback

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