5SOS Imagines

Imagines/Preferences for the 5 Seconds of Summer boys! Please comment your requests!

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2. Self-Harm (Luke)

I'm in a Luke mood... What can I say? Plus, he's my favorite to write, so... My apologies if you're not a Luke girl! (But I mean really, it's Luke.)

Luke Finds Out You Cut

You were laying on your side, you right hand resting on top of the bottom of your rib cage. Your cuts from the other day were starting to bother you. You winced as your boyfriend laced his fingers with you, right over your freshest marks. 

"(Y/N)? Are you okay?" You could hear the concern in his voice. 

"Hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine." You hoped he'd just drop it. You didn't want him to know. You'd managed to keep this as your little secret, even though you'd been best friends for years and dating for almost four months. 

"(Y/N), I know when you're lying. What's going on?" He propped himself up on his elbow so he could see your face better since your back was to him. 

"Oh I just bumped my side on the edge of the table and I have a bruise I forgot about. No big deal," you lied, hoping he wouldn't catch on. 

"Lemme see." His hand moved to the edge of your shirt and started easing it upwards. 

Your hand instantly pushed his away. "Honestly, Luke, it's fine. Don't worry about it."

Before you cold react, Luke had grabbed them hem of your shirt and pulled it up just short of your bra, revealing the cuts running up the side of your rib cage. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" he quietly asked after an unbearably long silence. You didn't respond, too frightened of how he would react. You knew he wouldn't break up with you over this, you'd been friends with him for too long. Besides, that wasn't the kind of guy he was. 

Realizing you weren't going to say anything, he bent down to your side, gently kissing the scars, causing you to shudder.  You didn't like the attention he was paying to the secret you'd managed to keep hidden for so long, so you sat up, pulling your shirt down, keeping your back to him. 

You heard Luke shift behind you, sitting up as well and scooting closer to you. He placed his hand on your shoulder as he leaned forward to see your face. "What's going on here?"

You turned your face away, not wanting him to see your watery eyes. You never cried and it was stupid for you to be crying now. You didn't even know why you were crying, but you were, and you didn't want him to see it. 

"(Y/N)," he tried again, "please, I just want you to help me understand."

You clenched your jaw, preparing yourself for the words you were about to say. "I think you should probably go."

"What?" His hand pulled away from you, just as shocked by your words as you were. You could also hear the hurt and pain in his voice. 

"I think you should go, Luke," you repeated, taking a steadying breath. 

"No. I'm not leaving you. Not like this. No way." You could just imagine the determined look on his face, shaking his head, wanting to protect you. But he couldn't protect you from yourself and you knew that. 

"Please Luke, just go. I want you to go." You bit your lip, fighting back the tears that were closer to spilling with each passing moment. 

"I love you, (Y/N). Just remember that." He placed a kiss on your temple before exiting your room, then the house. 

That's when you broke down. You knew he'd be back, this wasn't a "we're breaking up" kind of leaving. It was just an "I need space" kind of thing. And being Luke, you knew he understood you. You'd known each other since you were kids, he knew what you were trying to say better than you did sometimes. But all the same, you'd sent him away. He'd been your rock you clung to when things got hard. He was always there to comfort you, even when he didn't know what exactly was wrong. He'd just hold you and tell you that things were going to be okay. 

There would be none of that tonight though, you'd told him to leave. And he had. You wiped the tears that had managed to spill over, angry at the moisture. But they kept coming; they wouldn't stop.

Eventually, exhaustion overtook you. You laid your head on the pillow, curling up into a tight ball as you sobbed into the night, nobody around to hear you. You finally ended up crying yourself to sleep, something you hadn't done since you and Luke were the same height. 

*****

You heard a knock on your bedroom door, silencing your tears. You were hiding in the bathroom after you and your pocket knife had had a morning session. You didn't want Luke to find you like this, but you knew it was almost a guarantee. Maybe if you were quiet enough, he'd go away? You hadn't expected him to stop by so early, you were supposed to have time to get cleaned up, to hide it.

You silently cursed your current outfit of a baby blue tank top and a pair of his boxers he kept at your house for nights he stayed over. You knew the shade of blue was not optimal to cover the still bleeding cuts. You did your best to silently clean them up as Luke opened your bedroom door, throwing the bloodied tissues into the trashcan as you pulled your shirt down.

"(Y/N)," he said as he gently rapped his knuckles on the door of your bathroom. "I know you're in there. Please open the door?"

You placed your elbow on your knees, burying your face in your hands. You didn't want him to see that you had been crying, that you were still crying. You were so ashamed...

"(Y/N), I'm coming in." You detected a note of panic in his voice as he grabbed the key that you kept above your door, unlocking it and entering. 

Seeing you in your current position, he rushed over to you, kneeling in front of you, his hands on your wrists, trying to pull your hands away from your face. "(Y/N)? Babe, what's wrong? What happened? Talk to me." His tone grew in urgency when he elicited no reaction from you. "Shit," he muttered. You realized he probably saw the blood you felt staining your shirt. You normally had time to wait for them to stop bleeding before you'd pull your shirt back down. Today was the day you finally ran out of time. "Shit shit shit," he continued to mutter as he lifted your top, gently pulling it away from the bleeding cuts. 

He worked in silence, cleaning your side, washing off the dried blood, holding a washcloth to them until they stopped bleeding. Once they had, he stripped your tank top off, leaving you sitting there in a sports bra and his boxers. He then retreated into your room, returning with one of his favorite band shirts. He slipped it over your head, helping you put your arms through since extensive movement would reopen the healing wounds. 

He then picked you up bridal style, settling himself on the bed, resting against the headboard, you in his arms. He didn't say anything, just cradled you to him, letting you cry. He was careful to keep his hands away from your injured side, not wanting to put you through any more pain. 

After a few minutes, you wiped your eyes, sniffling. Luke helped wipe the tears away before planting a kiss on your forehead. "I love you. I will always love you. But why did you hide this from me?"

"I-I just didn't know how to tell you. It was easier not to; to just deal with it on my own. I didn't want you to worry or treat me any differently or anything like that. I didn't want anything to change," you confided. 

"I always worry about you, and you know that I love helping you. You don't have to deal with it on your own, that's why I'm here. And I won't treat you any differently. You're still that same weirdo girl that pushed me down the stairs in grade seven."

You laughed, remembering that day. "You deserved it," you said, defending yourself. 

"There's that smile I love," he said, kissing your lips gently, his lip ring cool against your warm lips.

The gentle kiss soon turned into something more, his hands finding your hips under your shirt. He laid you down, hovering above you, never breaking the kiss. One of your hands tangled in his hair, the other pulling his shirt up.

He broke the kiss long enough to remove his shirt, his lips crashing into yours again. A few seconds later, your shirt was lying on the floor next to his. After a few more heated moments, you started to unzip his jeans.

Luke abruptly pulled away from you. The two of you had never gone this far before, you'd never wanted him to see. But now that he knew, there was nothing stopping you. "Are you sure about this?" He didn't want to push you, never had, even after months of dating.

"I'm sure," you responded, pulling him back to you. 

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