Not In That Way *Completed*

There is always that one little thing that can keep a person stable. That one little thing that makes a person feel alive. The thing that can make a person smile even when they are having a bad day.

For Cora Smith that thing is more like a someone. Her someone is Zachary Dawson. Her long time best friend and the person that saved her when her life was in shambles. For years, she has been battling for his attention against all the other girls around her. However, little did she know she had him wrapped around her little finger since the very beginning.

Join Cora on her journey in discovering the truth about Zachary, while all the while she is consumed with the fear that, in the end, the only words she will hear from him are, "I'm sorry, believe me, I love you, but not in that way......"

*Based on the song, "Not in That Way" by Sam Smith*

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1. Prologue

Love is a funny thing. It seems as if everyone wants it. That's the tricky thing though, everyone acts as if they can't live without it. No one ever focuses on the big picture or the greater problems. In my life, it's all about love. My mom is destroyed because no man will love her. My brother, distraught over the loss of a loved grilfriend. My dad finding no hope in his wife and leaving, but never remarrying. Now I am left with the constant fear of getting my heartbroken, of never being loved. 

My family hasn't been the same for a while now. Everyone is broken in their own special way. My dad left when I was ten. My mother was a control freak and tried to control everything that he did. My dad got tired of that and he left. When my dad left , I never really cried about it. Of course, I was sad for a while, but my dad did his fair share of damage to my mother. He was a horrible alcoholic and he acted as if the Jack Daniels was his child instead of me. I can't remember a time in my childhood, when he wasn't drunk. No memories come to mind, because there really aren't any. After they separated, my mother went on countless blind dates, trying to find the type of love and the happiness she had felt in the first couple of years with my father. She has found men, but none of them wanted anything more than sex. My mother was a beautiful woman, big brown eyes, long brown hair. Every detail almost identical to mine, in every way. After around 10 blind dates and all of them being failures, she gave up.  I'll never forget the day that I came home to find my mother lying on the ground in a puddle of her own blood. Her life taken by her own hand. 

*Flashback*

'Finally' I think once the bell rings. 'School is out! This summer is going to be great.'

My journey to home is short. Only a few minutes. 

"Mom! I'm home!" I yell.

I stand in the doorway of the kitchen waiting for her answer back. 

"Mom!" I call again 

    No answer. 

    I step into the kitchen grabbing a water bottle and an apple, on my way to the back door. I look in the garden and she is no where to be found. I wander through the living room and into the hallway. That's when I notice the silence. It's never quite in my house, my mother is always singing. I drop my food and I creep over to my parents bedroom door, pushing it open a crack. A shrill scream echoes through the room. My hand falls from the doorknob and my tiny 13 year old body sags to the floor. A sob escaping my lips from the site of my mother. 

    *End of Flashback*

    My mother never got what she deserved. She shouldn't of died at such a young age. After her death, my brother and I were in shreds. We were no longer whole again. I was forced to move in with my dad. My brother left and I haven't heard from since. It's been 5 years since then. I'm eighteen now. 
    
    For all of my childhood, I never understood why my mother was so worried over love. I couldn't understand why she was so hurt by it. I get it now though. The feeling of loving someone and knowing that they don't love you back. It hurts, really bad. Wanting to touch and hold someone, but you can't because they are only your friend and they aren't interested you.

    Once I moved in with my father, I fell into a very deep depression. There were numerous times that I considered suicide. I never wanted to live without my mom. Then I met Zachary Dawson. He became my best friend and he helped me out of my hole of self loathing. I fell in love with him, but I would never tell him. All I would hear would be, "I'm sorry, believe me, I love you, but not in that way..."

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