Finding myself

The screams the cries,
The bullets of death,
Coming face to face,
With your final breath.
The hopeful songs,
The bomb filled skies,
Will never drown,
The battle cries.

"I'm at war" that's what I told them, and it was true. I was at war, I was at war with myself. Why was I at war with myself? Because that's what happens when you're finding yourself.


1. Prologue


    I sit alone a lot of the time. I try to find myself, I try to answer my questions. Why am I here? Who am I? I can never answer them though. It's like I'm not meant to know who I am. All of my friends know themselves completely, they are all unique and they use that to their advantage. Not me though, I'm just your average girl. The kind that dances to music in her room, the kind that sings off key. The kind that acts like they don't have a care in the world. But that's exactly what it is to me, an act. I act like I know who I am. But the truth is, I'm drowning, I'm drowning and no one sees my struggle. I've been hurt a lot in my life. My life has been full of "Oh, I'm sorry... I thought you meant what you promised, silly me!" and "Sorry for being me" I wish that I could wake up with amnesia. And forget about my terrible past. But I'll never forget, it will always be in the back of my mind

    I act like I'm fine, like I don't care. I act like all those other girls. And it annoys me when they say they hate their life because they had a fall out with a friend, because they don't know what it's like to truly hate your life. Like when they say there isn't a hell because their life's are perfect. There is a hell, trust me, I've seen it.

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