When in...Paris? ( A Niall Horan Fanfic)

After Matt escaped from Jail, Niall flies Anna and their mates to Paris to get away from harm. But what happens when stress gets to the group and secrets of Niall’s puzzled life are revelled? Will Anna put them together and figure out what he’s been trying to hide from her. Will she accept it?

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13. Chapter 13

“What the fuck do you mean you’re pregnant!” he screams. 

 

I jump back in surprise a little. Shuffling away from him. “I…I took the test and-“

 

“I know what happened Anna! How? When?”  He asks, getting up from the floor and ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

 

I clear my throat a bit and answer his angry eyes “Well I’m about 5 weeks along-g. It matches with the first night we were in Pa-aris and I forgot to take the pill and-“ I stumble before he cuts me off again.

 

“You forgot to take the pill!?” He yells “How could you be so bloody thoughtless and stupid not to take a pill at this most crucial time!”

 

I glare at him in absolute shock. This is not how it was meant to go. I’m meant to get pregnant. Be shy about telling him then once I do, he is actually happy about it and we live happily. Tears start to well up again as I scurried from the floor, escaping into the bathroom and slam and lock the door. I press my back into it, big tears spill from my eyes and loud sobs roll from my mouth.

 

I let myself slide all the way to the floor, letting my legs hit the cool tiles. The dress rode up a little as I did and I suddenly became frustrated. I rip the Zipper down in a rush, almost tripping over my own feet as i try and strip it off me. ‘Stupid dress’

 

I hold onto the bathroom counter for support and kick off the meaningless piece of material and fall back on the floor. I wrap my arms around my stomach feeling like I’ve lost all hope, all strength and all the confidence. I feel like I’m falling, my emotions crashing and my life ripping apart. I curl up my legs, my body dropping into a dark lonely place, letting it over take me, I let it engulf me in utter sorrow. How could he love me if he could do this to me? He didn’t like the idea of us having a child. He doesn’t want a child with me. I know it’s at a wrong time but he should be happy I’m providing life for a little one in me. He doesn’t love me. He can’t love me if that’s how he’s going to act.

 

“Anna” I faintly hear him call from the other side of the door. I ignore him as the pain in my heart becomes too much, my world spins out of control it's all so confusing , so much is going on , sorrow , hopelessness , loneliness , worthlessness , sadness , anger , guilt and yet at the same time absolute nothingness , i'm numb i'm empty inside and life just seems pointless I feel completely dead inside.

 

“Anna” he knocks now. I feel a familiar itch begin in my fingertips, gliding all the way through my hands and tingled to the rest of my body. I need something. I need to feel something. Moments past, and time ticks by as I lay there, Niall’s knocks, calls and pleads coming more frequent. It’s come to the moment when it's too much to bare, I try to let it all out I try to cry but the tears just won't come.

 

So I give up all hope again to let myself cry my emotions and the stinging burns more. I finally realise what I need and use the last bit of strength I have to drag myself to the cupboards under the sink. My uneven breaths must be audible due to the rapid knocking against the door “Anna, what are you doing in there, baby? Speak to me?”

 

I ignore him again, rummaging through the cupboard to find what I was really looking for. Luckily there it was, the familiar black paper back sitting at the back. I pull it out slowly and rip it open, pulling out my old trusty sliver blade. I let the heavy metal rest in my hand as I sit back up and press my back against the shower door. Knock.Knock. “Anna please, let’s talk about this”

 

I don’t answer as I press the blade into the edge of my wrist and swiped it quickly.  Now instead of dropless of water from my eyes, there are drops that fall from my arm. For a moment I am revived from that dark deep hole, but I fall down into its thick emptiness once again as the pain starts to numb. So I do it again. Close to the first but this time deeper. Blood drips slowly, leaking to the marble floor and I sigh. Can I not do anything right.

 

 I slowly rise from my position and wobble over to the sink, rinsing out my wounds. The stinging only making the situation worth even more. I stare at my reflection, dark eyes and emotionless face. I feel stupid for letting this all happen. Letting myself be caught up in all this bullshit. I feel out of control again I feel ugly , fat and worthless.  That’s why the man outside that door doesn’t love me. I step back from the sink, not caring if my cuts had stopped bleeding or not and take a proper look at myself. I’m hideous. Tears well up in my eyes again as I press the stained blade to my thigh, only to be delayed by another yell.

 

“Anna, open the door or I swear to God I will kick it down!” I stay silent as I remove the blade from my leg and wash it thoroughly before chucking it back into the bag and it the cupboard, before bringing the first aid kit. “Just a second” I hear myself mumbled out, realising that the words didn’t even sound like my own. They sound broken. I place disinfectant and then a bandage, wrapping my wrist for good measure.

 

I take another look at myself. Repulsing. I think. I unlock the door and not a second later, Niall barged in “Listen baby, I’m sorry I shouldn’t of –“ he cuts himself off as he stares down at the wrapping that I clearly didn’t have before. He takes in a sharp breath of what I believe is going to be another yell, but it sounds more like a sob.

 

“No” he says to himself as he tries to reach for me, I move back. He looks hurt. Pained actually. I watch him push aside the rejection and drop to his knees, holding me by my legs. “Hello Baby” he mutters to my stomach. My breath hitches.

 

“Mummy is upset with me” he tells our still growing child “But she doesn’t know how much daddy loves her and that he doesn’t want to see her get hurt” he says as he shuffles closer, gripping me tighter. “I’m so happy your coming little baby, I can’t wait to hold you” he continues, pecking my stomach. “I love you and I love your mummy too” he says looking up at me.

 

I burst into tears as he hugs me around my waist. I’m so stupid. So so stupid. He yelled because hes worried and he’s hugging because he cares. He comes up from his knees and takes my body in his, wrapping himself around me like a blanket.

 

“I love you” he tells me as he kisses the top of my head “And I don’t care about anything else but you and if you’re pregnant, then we are having a baby and if your craving, I’ll get everything you need and if you’re sick, I’ll do anything to make you feel better and if you go on a shopping spree and by everything you want for the baby, I’ll give you my credit card. Because I love you. And I want you to be happy. No maniac or killer can change that fact”

 

I cry even harder at his speech, gripping onto his shirt. He rocks me slowly and before I know it, sleep as overcome me.

 

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I was buried in sleep when i became aware of a weight lightly pressed on top of me. I keep my eyes shut, knowing exactly who it was and I almost smile as the light kisses I felt against my stomach. “Hi baby” he whispers to what I presume is the growing baby. I bite my lip now, not to give away that I’m awake, wanting to know where this is going.

 

I then felt Niall’s fingers move towards my left wrist and the smile that was threatening to grow collapsed. He carefully moves shuffles closer “Anna, I know your awake” he mutters as he kisses my wrist. “Come on, open your eyes”

 

I didn’t want to. Because I know if I did, I’ll see Niall’s disappointed eyes and frown. I try to move my wrist away but he pulls it closer, pecking it more and more. “Eyes open, looks at me” he tells me. I do as he says, peaking down to see just as I predicted, only with bed hair.

 

“Why would you do this to yourself?” he says, brushing his fingers on the bandage. “I’m sorry” I say.

“No it’s not your fault” he mutters “It’s mine”

 

Silence fell on us and I’ve become sick of it. I sit up on my elbows catching his attention “Can we please not talk about it. It’s over now. Let’s move on” I say.

 

“But you promise me you won’t do this again?”

 

I stare into those deep baby blues and made the promise that I never thought would happen “Yes. I promise”

 

He simpers, making a show to crawl up my body to give me a sweet morning kiss "Merry Christmas" he says, i repeat it back before he leans in again and deepens this kiss, gripping me against him. I regretfully pull away and hear his sad sigh “I’m sorry Ni, I’ve done research on ‘sex whilst you’re pregnant’ and there is a few things we need to look over, like positions and roughness”

 

Niall nods understandingly “Have you gone to the doctors to check” he asks, as he rests next to me, pulling me closer. I shake my head “I was waiting to go with you, ya know, mother and father going to check on their child”

 

Niall smiles brightly “I’m a father, holy shit. Can we name our child Soccer?”

 

I stare at him in disbelief “What?” I laugh “We are not calling our child soccer”

 

Niall laughs with me before letting a gentle kiss linger on my forehead “What do you think of names?” he asked me. I hum in thought “I’ve always liked your middle name, for a boy”

 

“Really? James?” he asks.

 

“Yeah, like a named after the father type of thing”

 

“And for a girl”? I shrug my shoulders ‘We have plenty of time, but right now we need to find a doctor that won’t give away out location and that’s trustworthy” I say. “I got one” he says. I playfully roll my eyes and Niall continues to jump in his spot “Oh I can’t wait to tell the lads. It’s going to be wicked. Does anyone else know”

 

I bite my lip at that “Umm…yeah, Zayn knows”

 

“Zayn” he bites “Out of all people”

 

“Calm down, we were at the café we were yesterday a couple of weeks ago, when we ordered eggs and I found the smell absolutely repulsive and threw up. That pregnant waitress. Remember her? She commented that my pregnancy nose  gets better as I go along. That sort of put Zayn and I into shock mode and I bought the test and vuoa la I’m pregnant” I explain.

 

“Oh” Niall says “So no eggs”

 

I nod “No eggs”

 

“Alright then” he smiles.

 

We cuddle together for another hour, enjoying the comfort of one another as we look out the window pretending that someone is after us. We get up after  that due to the loud and disturbing calls of Louis.

 

“I need a shower” I tell Niall as he threw on a pair of track pants. Niall nods “Will you be okay?” he asks. I roll my eyes “Jesus, I’m not a pumpkin yet Niall, I can still do things”

 

Niall smiles before giving me a kiss, leaving me to attend the shower.

 

//Niall’s Pov\\

 

I waltz out of the room, feeling like a new man. I’m a father now. Changes need to seriously be made.

 

I made it to the living area where I see four boys conversing in hushed whispers. I plop down in the closest available chair “Merry Christmas Lads” I smile.

 

“Now why are you so cheery” Louis remarks, wiggling his eyes brows “I don’t know, I just feel happy today” I say, leaving out the details that the love of my life is pregnant until we decide when to tell everyone. I notice how Liam and Zayn stay silent, almost ignoring me. Okay

 

“Well you won’t be happy when I tell you what Derek and Matt are up to” worries Harry.

 

I tisk “That’s a problem for tomorrow Haz, right now it’s Christmas” I smile, jumping towards the kitchen to get a glass of water.

 

“Niall just listen” Harry tells me again. I roll my eyes and grab a glass, filling it up with water from the dispenser on the fridge “Lay it on me” i say, feeling as if nothing could crash my mood.

 

“Derek and Matt know Anna’s pregnant”

 

I drop the glass.

 

 

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I hope you all are keeping France in your hearts. Poor people #prayforparis

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