Lost Stars

“If you want to know, you might wanna sit down then.”
I didn’t question.
Once seated on the couch, he opened his mouth, “I murdered a man.”
I choked.

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21. CHAPTER 21

Harry’s

At about 11:30, and after much bribing the Dominos home delivery services with free backstage passes, we had our pizza delivered to fill our bellies with something other than beer and victory.

Once we were all full, the Hawaiian had only one slice left, and two preying on it.

“Niall, you had like the whole of the Fiesta!” Louis cried.

“Well, that’s because it was the personal size, Louis! I’m literally empty. I need this!” he almost grabbed the slice, but Diana stepped in.

“Boys, I have an idea.” She took the slice (yes, Niall and Louis were salivating) and placed it on top of a wheeled tray. “No one is really getting the slice. But it’s like a game. Never Have I Ever.”

Niall grumbled. “Not interested.”

She laughed and patted him. “I’ll make you a chicken sandwich, Nialler.” She turned to the rest of us and said, “Whoever has done it has to take a bite of the slice. Cool?”

The lads agreed.

Louis began the game. “Never have I ever had periods.”

We all laughed, while Diana gasped in shock. “That was so subtle, I swear!” She laughed and took a big bite of the slice, Niall’s heart breaking at a distance.

Next up was Liam. “Never have I ever… had a boner on stage.”

We all laughed as Louis took a bite and admitted, “What? I couldn’t help it, lads! This girl flashed at me!”

Niall begged, “Can we just skip to the part where I have done something?”

Zayn said, “Let’s see. Never have I ever…been tattoo-less.” Niall almost got up from his seat when Zayn added, “Provided I’m not tattoo-less anymore.”

Niall screamed, “C’mon Zayn! You can’t have something ‘provided’ in here.”

I forced smile and said, “Sorry Nialler. Big bad world, eh?”

But Niall was not to be consoled. “Oh my fucking God!! You lads are the worst!” He kept screaming in pain while all of us took bites of the pizza, leaving out just a little bit of the crust. Zayn and I fist-pumped, while Niall managed to keep himself from dropping a tear.

Diana elbowed me. With her eyes full with concern she whispered, “You lads are literally frying him alive. Do something!”

I rubbed her cheeks, “Anything for you, milady.” She made a ‘Yeah right’ face, while I turned to the boys and said, “My turn. Never have I ever… been an Irish dickhead!”

There were no questions asked. We all simply turned to Niall, waiting for him to take the bite. “I am not biting to that! Uh-uh.” He shook his head.

Louis scratched his temples and said, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Nialler. Only chance to get the last bite, so might as well… you know.” He shrugged, stating the obvious.

“I’m not a dickhead, for God’s sake!” Niall screamed. We all just shrugged. “Ok. For the love of pizza...” He leaped forward to take his bite, tasting the flavors of paradise. For a moment, his face was of a delightful bastard, but in a blink his face turned into an awkward shade of purple. “What the-”

Liam and Louis laughed loudly, showing a half used packet of cinnamon in Louis’s hand. “Sorry Nialler!”

Niall choked. “What the f-”

We all laughed. History was made again.

 

I could hear footsteps behind me. I didn’t have to look back to know it was Diana. “Hey.”

I smiled, placing my hand on her waist. “Hey you.”

She smiled and said, “I put the boys to bed. Well, the couch, actually. Except for Niall, seeing he loved the stairs so much.”

I shrugged. “I never really understood blondes.” She gave a mild laugh to that.

For the next couple of minutes, we both didn’t say a word. We simply looked out the window, the black mist of the night invading into our thoughts. All we could hear was each other’s breaths, and that was well enough a conversation for us. “You know why I hate drinking too often?” I asked.

She turned to me. “Why?”

“Because it makes me think about all the things I keep pushing to the back of my mind.”

She took a lock of my hair and pushed it behind my ear. “And what is that?”

I looked down at her, her eyes dipped in curiosity and mine in pain. I moved from my place and took a seat on my bed, my breath getting deeper every second. “I worry about us sometimes… I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help it. Diana, I know love. I have known it before I met you, so I know how it works. And being much blunt about it, love has never worked out for me.”

Diana echoed my steps and took her place beside me, wanting me to stop sounding like a suicide note. “Harry-”

I took her hands and pressed them on my chest. “Darling, I love you so so so much, but I’m not what you want.” I looked away, too afraid to break her. “I lead a life where I am living my dream, giving back to people, making people happy, seeing amazing things everyday, … but it also takes a lot of things away from me. A lot of people away from me.” I looked at her saying, “I’ll be in some other corner of the world when you need me, I’ll probably never be there for your birthday, for our anniversary, or for Valentine’s Day. Diana, I’ll never be there for you!” I took her hand and kissed it to say, “I’ll never be able to give you you’re happily ever after.”

She stared straight at me for a moment, taking in my words. Then, she simply smiled at me and spoke, “Firstly, remind me never to get you drunk again. And secondly,” she leaned forward to kiss my nose and said, “You are my happily ever after, Harry. No matter where you are, and how many lives you’re filling with joy, you’ll always be my happily ever after.” Her eyes began to fill up. “Harry, I haven’t known happiness my entire life… I have never known the feeling of being happy, having people who care about me, having a home to go to, having someone say that I saved their life.” She pressed hands and smiled, “And for whatever reason, you fell unfortunate enough to give me all that and now I sure as hell am not letting you off that easy.”

I smiled at her, giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead. “I’m sorry for bringing this up. Any way to take our minds off this?”

She did a fake thinking gesture, tapping on her chin and said, “Well, I do remember you telling me that I could measure your Big Styles…”

I laughed. “You nasty little women!” I started a tickle fight, Diana breaking into breathless pond of laughter. “Oh you wanna? Oh you wanna?”

History was made again. And so was love.

…… Or was it?

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