existence.

"Sad stuff makes beautiful poetry, but it's not so pretty to live with." [-Merecat]
*For the Dear Diary Competition*
(I recommend anything beyond 'Tumbling Ash' for the rest is a mess of nonsense words that hold no character, no story and absently fill the page)

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36. Fatherly Anger

 

No.

No.

NO.

 

Last weekend,

it was Father's Day.

My Dad has been away in LA

for 9 months,

and came back 3 weeks ago.

I have seen him twice

since his return.

 

I was with my Mum

on that day.

Two days after exam week.

I texted him.

Fair.

 

Today,

my step-mum came

and yelled at me and my sister

for getting him nothing.

 

In all fairness,

my sister did not even text him,

which I guess is a little harsh.

 

She said how he was upset

when we didn't get to

Skype him

when he was in LA

because we were busy with our

social lives.

 

How he kept checking his

phone all day,

waiting for a call.

 

Now, I must admit

I should have phoned him.

But my step-mum

expected

us to appear on Friday

with a present, a card, smiling faces and

hugs.

 

No.

 

She cannot expect that

when I have not

seen him for

9 months.

 

She cannot expect that

when I have felt like

he never cared,

like his many worries were my

grades and how well

my writing is going.

 

Not my well-being.

Not my friendship arguments.

Not my drama plays.

Not my music tastes

or my favourite foods

or what I would like to do.

 

She cannot expect that

even though

he claims to feel like he

is a bad parent.

 

I am not saying he is,

but I don't feel

like he cares.

 

I am not getting him gifts

to celebrate him moving

thousands of miles away

with my little brother

for 9 months

for work.

 

She can say what she wishes,

but I do love my Dad.

I guess you can just say that

it's hard for me to

show

it.

 

-Sunday 28th June

 

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