I wish I had never woken up with amnesia (Michael Clifford)

Some people wish to wake up with amnesia so they can forget about how much they are hurting.

All I wish is that I could have remembered .... Remembered that he had hurt me. That way I would never have fallen in love with him again

To know him, is to love him. But I never knew that Michael was the person who could love me and break me into thousand pieces at the same time

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6. 5

I scroll through the photos, I can't get my head around it all. I know this is me. The girl looking back at me on the photos, that's me. I look happy. But most of all the person next to me, that person is making me smile in these pictures. In some he has blonde hair, in others pink, then blue. He has green eyes and an eyebrow piercing, most of all what I notice straight away is how good looking he is. I look at the tagged name

Michael Gordon clifford

I click on his name and it takes me to his profile. He hasn't posted anything in two weeks, some people have posted on his wall asking if he's heard how I am but he hasn't replied to anything. I look at his last status

Love this girl ❤️ Chloe Goldman

underneath is a picture of me and him. I'm lying so my head is on his lap, my hand covers my mouth, I must have been laughing at something and he's grinning into the camera, his one hand holding the phone, the other is holding my hand, his fingers entwined with mine. I look through all of the pictures of him and me. Back when I had brown hair, then when I lightened it. I come across a photo and he's holding out his arm and I'm pointing to my shoulder, again we are both smiling at each other. I seemed happy, he seemed happy. Why can't I remember him? I look again at the photo and tilt my head, what's he pointing at? I can make out some writing, does that say moon? I feel the colour drain from my face and I jump up pulling my T shirt off, I put my back to the mirror and turn my head. "What the fuck?" I scream so loud I think I've probably startled the whole street. Maddison and Laura burst in and look at me confused over the fact I'm standing there in my bra and jeans. A boy appears behind them and when he sees I am half naked he covers his eyes and runs down the stairs

"Ashton I presume?" I snap

"Yeah, what the hell, why are you screaming? Are you in pain?" Maddison asks panicked

"Am I in pain? Am I in pain? No I am not in pain but what the hell is this on my back! Is this a real tattoo? Why have I got a tattoo! What is wrong with people, did no one try and stop me. What the hell does it even say?"

I look at Laura and I know she wants to laugh but bites her lip to stop herself. Maddison looks at her and she too is stopping herself from laughing but she stops when she sees I'm close to crying

"Sweetie, it says to the moon and we couldn't stop you, you didn't even tell us you were having one until it was done. You had matching tattoos, I don't know what it means, but it's quite pretty actually"

I turn and look again, between my shoulder blades in feminine swirly writing is those words ... To the moon. I rub my forehead

"So let me get this straight, not only was I stupid enough to end a relationship to then fall in love with someone who eventually cheated on me I was also stupid enough to get a matching tattoo? Was I on drugs? Did I ever go to rehab?"

Now they both laugh and I pick my T shirt up off the floor and slide it back on putting my hands on my hips

"Chloe you would never do drugs, ever, so no you've never been to rehab. Look you were in love, it was a very whirlwind relationship. No one could have stopped you, when you were with him you were different. Free spirited even"

Laura says as best as she can whilst stopping herself from laughing and I shake my head

"Well tomorrow you can help me find a tattoo removal place" I snap at them

"Go back downstairs, tell your boyfriend, Ashton, I'm sorry about that" I say embarrassed and Maddison winks at me

"Will do"

They leave and I put my pyjamas on, not even taking a second look at the thing on my back, although I do check my body for any more tattoos or piercings I don't know about! I sit down again at the computer and look through his profile. It says he's single. Whilst I was in a coma he ended it with me? What kind of heartless person is he? But the pictures are still there. This is too hard to comprehend, it's like looking at my doppelgängers life, she looks like me but this isn't me. My stomach flips as I find another photo, this time I'm standing in front of him, he's standing behind me and his arms are wrapped around my waist. He's softly kissing my cheek and my eyes are closed. It's like I feel butterflies, my body reacts to seeing this but I don't physically feel anything. I'm not sad, happy, heart broken ... None of that, just confused. I do this for another four hours, look over our memories but nothing comes back to me. It's so frustrating. I turn off the computer and climb into bed, I take two pain killers and they do the job. My eyes get heavy and before I can think anymore the darkness of my dreams take over

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