I wish I had never woken up with amnesia (Michael Clifford)

Some people wish to wake up with amnesia so they can forget about how much they are hurting.

All I wish is that I could have remembered .... Remembered that he had hurt me. That way I would never have fallen in love with him again

To know him, is to love him. But I never knew that Michael was the person who could love me and break me into thousand pieces at the same time

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3. 2

"Is this some sort of joke? It's not, it's not that year! You're telling me I've been in a coma for over two years?"

I try and pull at the IV but the nurse pulls away my hand and holds it against the bed

"Get off me, let me go. Please tell me what's happened to me?"

The doctor gives the nurse a look and she let's go of my hand and he softly covers mine with his

"Chloe you have only been in a coma for six days"

I look at him, shaking my head. My breathing is rapid and my chest is tight. Oh god, I'm having a heart attack. So I've lost two years of my life? So I'm now nineteen? I look at mom, she does look different. Her shoulder length hair is highlighted, and she looks a little older, but not drastically older

"You're lying, why are you doing this to me?" I try and get out of bed but the nurse is inserting something into the IV. I suddenly feel weak

"Why, why are you lying?" I slump against the mattress and I feel my eyes closing. No one loses two years of their life, what's happening? Is this a dream? maybe it's a nightmare

My eyes open and the room is dark, I look at my hand. The IV is still in it. I sit up and hold my head, I feel groggy and this pain, I've never felt anything like it. I pull the duvet off and look at my legs, they are covered in bruises, so are my arms. I instinctively hold my side, I can now feel pain in my ribs that I wasn't aware of, are they broken?

The lights in the corridor are on and it gives me some light in the dark. My eyes adjust and I now see cards and flowers cover most of the surfaces in the room. I get out of bed but have to hold onto the chair beside it as my muscles stretch. I walk over to the windowsill and read one of the cards. On the front is a bear holding a balloon

Chloe,

Get well soon. We miss you. Things aren't the same without you!

We love you, we love you and we miss our musketeer

Love from

Maddison and Laura

I smile as the feeling of relief washes over me. We used to call ourselves the three musketeers, at least I know I still have two best friends. That's something I guess. I look through a few more cards and recognise everyone's name. So far so good. I make my way back over to the bed and read the card that's in the flowers on the bedside table

Chloe,

Sending you all our love. Get well soon we miss your face

Calum, Luke and Ashton

xoxo

I frown at the card, I don't know those names? Maybe I met them at college? I would have started college in the September? Why can't I remember anything after the prom? I wince as a pain shoots through my bladder, I need to pee so bad. I look down and see a tube, is that a catheter? I ring the alarm for the nurse, this is humiliating!

Twenty minutes later I am mortified and in a lot of discomfort but at least I have been able to go to the toilet by myself. I get back into bed and face the window. I look at the night sky and try and piece things back together. Most of all I try and remember but the dance is the only thing that comes to mind and then it's like I come to a dead end, after that there's nothing. I can't believe I'm nineteen, what did I do for my eighteenth birthday? Did I have a party? I really wanted a big party. What did I do for my nineteenth birthday? I look at the clock on the wall. It's three thirty a.m. I decide to sleep, I know mom will be back here later this morning and I guess she will answer those questions for me

I'm woken up at eight a.m to have some breakfast. It's cereal and a piece of toast. My stomach grumbles loudly when I see it and I blush but I'm so hungry, I feel like I haven't ate in ... Well six days actually. I finish breakfast and walk into the en suite bathroom. I don't know how much mom and ken have paid for a private room but I can only imagine it's not cheap. I still feel unsteady on my feet and I don't have the energy to even contemplate a shower so I have a wash and change into a pair of fresh pyjamas. I lean onto the sink and look at my reflection in the mirror. I do look different, I have a black bruise across my forehead and it runs down past my left temple. I follow the pain on my head with my fingers and flinch as I feel stitches. My hair used to be dark brown but it's now a lighter brown with blonde tips, I hate it. What on earth possessed me to dye it like this? My face is the same, apart from my eyebrows are more shaped and defined. When I was seventeen I wasn't that bothered about my appearance, I definitely didn't have these neat eyebrows that's for sure. I run my hands through my hair. As soon as I get out of here I'm dying it back to dark brown.

I walk back into my room and my mom stands up when she sees me

"You're up, oh Chloe" I walk into her outstretched arms and cry as she holds me. We sit on the bed and she pushes my hair off my face. We both turn around as Doctor Green walks into the room

"Good morning Chloe, it's nice seeing you up but don't push yourself ok?"

I weakly nod my head and cross my legs beneath myself as he stands at the bottom of the bed

"Whilst you were sedated yesterday we did another brain scan. Everything seems perfectly normal. When you had the accident you broke three ribs but your head took the the brunt of the force resulting in a diastatic skull fracture, fortunately there is no brain damage"

He smiles at me satisfied with this, and I am but

"Doctor Green in all due respect I must have some type of brain damage because I can't remember the last two years. I don't even know who I am anymore"

"That's something completely different Chloe, we believe, well actually we are certain you are suffering with retrograde amnesia, it can be caused due to a head trauma. There isn't a cure but memories have been known to come back over a period of time"

I look at my mom who is smiling at me hopefully

"So the last two years, they have just vanished?" My voice is barely a whisper

"Therapy has been known to help bring it back so we will arrange that through your local GP"

Doctor green talks some more and I pretend all this information has sunk in but it hasn't. They are going to keep me in for another few days for observation but because my vitals are looking good I should be allowed home soon. Once he leaves I turn to face mom

"This is too surreal you've got to help me fill in blanks mom"

She leans forward and knowingly nods her head

"Of course I will, ask away Chloe"

I pull a pillow onto my lap and lean my elbows on it

"What am I studying? Am I doing well in my lessons?"

Her mouth drops open and she quickly closes it again

"Chloe, you aren't in school. You left to help auntie Maureen in the diner"

I feel my hands start shaking

"I gave up my education, my dreams of being a history teacher to work in a diner? Why the hell would you let me do that?"

I hold my head in my hands, what? I loved school. I was a grade A student!

"Chloe, now might not be the best time to tell you"

I lift my head up and look at her aggravated

"Oh no, now is the perfect time. I want to know why I gave up school!"

Mom leans forward and gently rubs my knee

"Your uncle Paul passed away, it was a sudden brain haemorrhage. Auntie Maureen wanted to shut the diner but you wouldn't let her. She had a break down and couldn't go to work so you quit school and right up until the accident you were in there every day. You were there for her Chloe and I was so so proud"

"Oh my god uncle Paul is dead?"

I burst into tears and hold the pillow to my face to stifle the sobs

"It was October two thousand and thirteen sweetie. You were heartbroken"

Mom puts her arm around me and I sit for what seems like hours crying. Not my uncle Paul. Not uncle Paul. Why? He was so young, he was only in his fifties! My dad died when I was a baby and my uncle Paul, who is my moms brother is like a dad to me. Or was. I hate speaking in past tense! I adored him and he's gone. What's even worse is, is the fact that I would have had nearly another year with him if I hadn't have forgot. I hate this, I hate amnesia. The door opens and I hear Maddison's voice

"Chloe?"

I pull the pillow away and let out another sob as I see her familiar face. She leans down in front of me and holds my face. She turns to face my mom

"Michael hasn't been here has he? He wanted to come but I told Ashton to tell him to not even think about it" She scolds and mom gives her a look, and I know that look means shut up. My tears stop and I look at Maddison confused

"Who's Michael?"

Maddison steps back and frowns at me

"Chloe, Michael. You remember don't you?"

"Maddison" my mom intervenes "Chloe has amnesia, she woke up and thought it was two thousand and thirteen" She talks through gritted teeth. They never did like each other much. Maddison's eyes widen and she looks at me like I'm an alien

"Oh shit. Well don't you think this is information you should have told me earlier?"

"Oh I'm sorry my daughter has been my main priority! Not filling you in on the gossip is such a crime"

I cover my ears with my hands and leave them to carry on bickering

Who is Michael?

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