Darker each night♡

It's funny how just like that your world changes. You're heart beats speeds up. You're breath quickens. Everything you ever thought was wrong was now right. But there's also that one time when all of that stops because of your own selfish decisions. You take a minute and think will I really do this? End my life like that?



This is a story I just decided to do and I don't have much of a plan but winging it is chill

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1. Chapter 1

Not again. My heart was pounding in my chest. My throat was burning. The tears were falling rapidly and there was nothing I could do. My breath was quick and useless. I wasn't getting enough air and it felt like I was slipping. My lungs burned like little flames had ignited from the lack of oxygen. I wasn't thinking clear anymore. Stand up slowly don't lose your balance... Yet. It's not worth it let it go! This was another anxiety attack. They came pretty commonly and it was out of my control. It was a shitty feeling to be honest, like I'd just be standing there, helpless as all my insecurities took over me. Now if only I could explain what happened this time.... As of right now I was standing on the ledge of my apartment building. I swore this time was it and I was gonna make it happen. There were balconies below but I could jump over them. Rain had been pouring endlessly for hours. My hair had already gone pin straight but I didn't care. I stared up to the dark clouds above me that painted the sky black. Water droplets gathered up in my eyelashes until enough was there to stain my cheeks. My makeup was sure to be smeared across my face but I didn't give a care in the world right now. My only thoughts were one step and just let the suffering end. This wasn't my first time attempting though. Last time was just as bad but I guess I tried the wrong way. Not like anyone cares this was the second time anyway. My parents were never here and when they were they treated me awfully. I wasn't surprised to wake up with bruises all over me most days for the beatings. Most people would think parents and have a warm imagine wrapped around them but I didn't see that at all. My life wasn't perfect or even remotely good so what's the point? I held my breath and got ready to end it. I picked my one foot off and then everything went pitch black.

I woke up surrounded in blankets and laying down on some bed. My ribs felt swollen and snapped. I tried my best to sit up and recognize where I was but my body wouldn't let me move. I stared down to my feet covered in blankets as well. Things felt like they were glowing. Did my wish come true? Was it really happening? I looked to the sides and the white walls became recognizable. I wiggled my arms enough to escape them from the paralyzed state and touch my head. An excruciating pain shot to my head like millions of tiny needles. I felt a wrap around my skull. God don't tell me it wasn't a success.

"Grace" I heard someone call from in front of me. (A/n Ha sorry I love that name<3)

"You okay sweet heart?" I heard another nurse coo beside her. I sat up as slowly as possible now fully in control of my actions. I stared at the clip board beside me

Grace

Age: 17

Gender: f

Birthday 12/11

Reason of hospitalization : saved Suicide attempt.

Damn they found out. How'd this happen?

I thought it would happen for real.

"She may not feel like talking.." The first nurse said again.

"Her parents still haven't answered so I guess we have to move her to the psychiatric ward for suicide watch, it's the safest thing for a child like her." The second nurse answered back.

What was that? Last time this happened they let me home because they thought it was an accident.

"They said she tried to jump but fainted backwards and crashed her own window. Luckily the doctors removed the glass. They said it wasn't too deep in and it would heal quickly"

Luckily? I thought. Not at all. They sat me up on to my own two feet and escorted me to a different part of the building. The nurses unlocked the locked doors and took me inside. They told me I would be in here for a while until I was healthy again.

"Hello doctor here is Grace you asked to talk to." The nurses reported to a man in scrubs.

The room seemed dull, it was white and everything was lazily arranged and barren. There wasn't much around. Within my eye vision I saw several rooms and a few larger doors which I assumed lead to places like the cafeteria , the rec room, and bathroom or something like that. I wobbled on my own feet as what seemed like a trade off occurred from the nurses to the doctor.

"Hello there! I'm going to talk a little fast so I can show you around." First he pointed out my room. I stepped inside to see a white bed and a desk. Also one book shelf with a couple books on it. But what stood out the most was the color of the room. A deep purple. It was almost like the color I had chosen in my apartment back when I first painted it. When I asked why the purple, he explained that the cure to happiness is to let yourself be happy and to start with that, colors help. He went threw each and every hallway showing me the building inside and out.

"Any questions?"

"No." I mumbled under my breath. When I wasn't being silent or extremely happy, then I was sassy. Like really sassy.

He stepped out and told me to meet in the cafeteria for dinner but I was free to roam until then. Instead I decided to search my room. The desk was some what new but it already had a creak to it. The book shelf on the other hand was pretty old. I could tell it was used before me. I saw finger nail indents in the sides of the shelf like someone had tried to lift it before. I walked back to my door and decided to come out for dinner. Though I wasn't planning on eating, I hardly even did. It wasn't worth it.. Food was energy and energy was more time in this dull life. I practically tripped over myself trying to find the way there. People were scattered all over but there wasn't a lot of people. Most of them being my age but some were younger. I felt bad for them. I couldn't imagine having someone find out at that young of an age. It's like some people were corrupted from the start. I got into the lonely line for lunch and picked up a few things. A water and a juice pouch. The water I would save for tonight in case I needed it.

"Excuse me"

As if I was taking forever; a girl cut past me in line like she had to get out of there quickly. But just like anyone else she sat down at an empty table and stared mindlessly at her food. She was pretty and had a carefree tone about her. I could tell that in her voice. Her brown hair was pretty long, already growing past her ribs. Her eyes were a beautiful brown just like most of my family. Except for me of course. I was the only one to have green eyes in my family. It we considered a gift to most people but to me it was more like another thing to show how different I am. Paranoia was definitely something I struggled with. For example how my nerves began telling me how most people here were out to get me. What a bother. I grabbed my refreshments and sat down next to the girl. She seemed instresting.

"Hey. What's your name?"

" Wouldn't you like to know."

Bitch. No one should be that rude to another person. She seemed arrogant but knowing she was here probably meant she was just insecure. I stood up about to leave when she pulled my arm back down. I gasped at the sudden gesture and planted my feet.

"Please don't go."

She whispered softly almost like she was begging. She was quick to change her facial features too. I shouldn't be judging though. We were in the same predicament.

"What's your name?" I tried again.

"Shae."

And so I sat down and the conversation began.

"Which room is yours" she asked gently. She had totally flipped emotions like she put down a wall between us.

"Wouldn't you like to know." I answered her with a playful wink. She looks at me for a second then smiled as it clicked with her

"Room 132" I told her back

"Great." She packed up her things to throw them away and got up to do just that. I watched the way she walked as she left the room. I expected her to come back but I guess she didn't care enough to. If it was me then hey I wouldn't either. I got up and threw away my juice. I should head back anyway. I walked down the eerily silent hallways careful not to make a single noise. Didn't want to stand out. And I got into my room. I shifted into my covers but I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in" I said lazily.

A girl in uniform walked into my room and set what looked like a change of clothes on my desk.

"We lock the doors at night. Sleep well." And she left just like that. I heard a click in the door and decided to go to bed.

Later into the night I heard a faint tapping noise in my room but it wasn't coming from the door. I wonder what it was. Probably just the wind. Slowly I drifted off into a deep sleep. One of many I would be spending here.

A/n okay hey guys so here's the beginning of my new stories. Idk what I want going on with it. Definitely some paranormal action we are gonna have and probably some romance ayeeee<3 anyway I hope you liked the first chapter and I have some good ideas so I'll stay on top of this story. Follow me for updates and all that jazz!

-Emily

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