Dear Diary...

A diary about me recovering.

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3. Dear Diary,

May 16, 2015

Mood: Tired, Bored

Dear Diary,

Its Saturday! yay! no school! haha. anyway, lots have been happening. Lots of gossip at school.. about me. Rumors going around school... about me. The reason why is because I was gone for a month. I went to rehab for self-harm. My ex boyfriend spreaded a rumor about me getting pregnant. :( ugh. so now my anxiety is bad about going school. btw i'm sorry if i repeat things. i don't remember what i type sometimes. anyway, so yea.. every time i go back to school i get called "slut" or "freak", etc. but i'm use to it. :/ Oh! and me and my older sister got in a huge fight!:( This song played in the (Mean to me by: Brett Eldredge)  car and my ex bf dedicated that song to us, but he broke up with me cause i was going to rehab... so i asked her to change it. and she said "No." and i said "Please, it brings back memories..." and she said "Well then let the memories go! Okay?! Sometimes you're so stupid and take everything so seriously and holds on to mean things! why do you hold on to mean things people say?" and then i said "Because I am used to it. I'm use to people calling me "freak" "fat" "ugly" "slut",etc."  Then she said i shouldn't be. and i said "Says the one who called me a bitch and told me to get over myself!" (she said that to me). and she said "I did?" and i so upset. I thought family was suppose to support you and not call you names! so i needed to talk to someone before i had an anxiety attack but my mom was out of town, so i went to my dad... BIG MISTAKE. He just yelled at me to  forget others... i ran up to my room crying... he came up and lets just say it didn't end well... i've got 2 new bruises... :'( i hate my life. 

HOW CAN I RECOVER WHEN I HAVE NO SUPPORT AND GET HATE FROM MY FAMILY/OTHERS?!?!?!

Stay Strong,

   peyton </3

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