Such A Silly Game We Play

Leena is one of those goody-goody teenage girls who is obedient to her parents, maintains high grades in school, has an average social life, and zero night life. Even more, she's the usual shy-type, terrible at making new friends, and even more terrible when it comes to oh-so-cheesy relationships, which was surprisingly coming her way now.

With so many things on the line that could go wrong if she ever followed what she truly wants, will she ever have the guts to let it all out? Would the guy do the same? Or, would both of them just sit down and wait until some miracle happens?

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38. You Still Like Him, Do You?

 

"What the..... fudge?!"

"What?", Thea replied, looking away quickly from her laptop screen to face me.

"WHAT THE FUDGE!"

"WHAT?!", her voice grew louder.

"SHHH!" A deep, shaky voice came from behind us. I looked back angrily, I could still feel the tension between my eyebrows and how pissed off I was. It was the librarian. "This is the library!"

"I'm sorry, okay!" I whispered, trying hard not so shout anymore. I looked at my laptop screen again but then I felt  a sudden pinch on my arm. "OWWWW!"

"I SAID QUIET!", the angry librarian said again.

I shot Thea my 'what was that for' look.

"What's wrong?!", Thea said. Now she was starting to get mad too. God, what is going on today?!

"COLUMBIA!", I shouted as I pointed to my laptop screen.

Thea's eyes widened. She immediately logged into her email account titled Application Status and saw the same email that showed up to my email just a few seconds ago.

We were both quiet.

We could both feel the tension.

My heart was beating fast. My palms were sweaty.

I know Thea's was sweaty too. We both had sweaty palms when we're nervous.

"Okay," I finally said to brake the silence, "whatever happens...... I still love you."

Thea gave me her disgusted look. "Whatever. Let's open it together?"

I nodded. 

 

Just one click and I saw the email on my screen. What I wanted right now was to see that one word that could change my life forever, whether good or bad. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and opened it again.

Accepted

I swallowed hard. "Uhm...uh," I stuttered. My mind was still processing the word that I just saw.

"You got in," Thea said as we stared at each other for a moment.

"You?!" I looked at her screen.

Wait-Listed

I was silent for a moment. I didn't know what to say.

"Wait listed. That's a good thing, right?" I finally replied.

"Maybe..." she said. I could already see the worry in her eyes. We both wanted this university so bad.

"Come on, don't lose hope! You're still on the list! Just... you know... waiting?" God, even I wouldn't believe what I just said.

Thea took a deep breath and sat up straight. "Yeah, you're right. There's still hope."

"That's the spirit!," I replied, "Thank god, I really don't wanna see you upset."

She smiled back and we hugged each other. I could already feel right now the distance that we might be having if she didn't get in. Only a few days left and high school would be over, and we might be going separate ways.

But then again, think positive. 

I know she'll get in. I'm sure.

"But you're going to study there already, right? I mean nothing can beat that offer," Thea asked and I could seethe seriousness in her eyes.

I thought about her question for a while as she stared at me. "Well, I still have that scholarship to Oakland you know. That's a great offer too, right?"

Thea looked like she was about to laugh loudly, but she tried to stop. "Not as good as Columbia! Are you crazy?!"

 

Hmm. Was I crazy? It's like there's this gut feeling inside me that's telling me to stay there and study there. I kept thinking about this over and over again, when I heard Thea say something. I didn't realize that I was already thinking way too long.

 

 

 

 

I looked back at Thea and found her staring at me with some sort of pity reflecting from her eyes. "You still like him, do you?"

My heart skipped a beat after I heard her say those words. They were the words that I was so afraid to say and hear. But here they were, coming out from Thea's mouth, but I had nothing coming out from mine.

"Leena, don't let some memory of a guy you like change your goals," Thea said as she moved her chair closer to mine. We were the only ones in the library now, and the angry librarian, every one was out to the mall or movies, enjoying the end of our last exams here.

"Of course not," I finally said, but I was still whispering.

Thea let out a loud sigh as she crossed her arms. "It's been, what, 2---- 3 years since we met him and the guys. It has been that long since you started liking him. 3 years, Leena! And nothing has changed between you two. You're still friends. You have got to get over him and move on."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, 'friends' ."

Thea raised one of her eyebrows. "What, you don't talk to him anymore?"

"The last time I saw him was when he left early for college," I said. I saw Thea's crossed arms loosen as she listened to me, "That was a year ago. And his family? The last time I saw Uncle Joe, Aunt Manna, Cris and Marion was just a few weeks after he left. That's it. It's like they just went to our lives for a brief moment and then unexpectedly exited it."

"Wait," Thea replied while looking confused, "so your dad and his dad don't talk anymore?"

"I don't know, maybe through the phone. But I haven't seen him in our house ever since."

"I thought you guys were helping them out? You know, the money/business problem?"

"They're doing okay now, I think."

Thea tried to process everything for a minute and said, "So they suddenly disappeared when their lives were back to normal again? Well that's just fishy."

I squinted. "To be honest, it does sound fishy, but come on. I know they're not like that, right?"

Now Thea rolled her eyes, "I dunno... but the point is, you have to get over him!"

"Thea, about a year ago, you were the one teasing me to fugging flirt with the guy, and now you want me to forget about him? And---,"

As I said that, Thea glimpsed upward which made me stop talking, "Wait, why'd you look up? You're nervous when you look up! Why are you nervous?! Are you keeping something from me?"

"Oh my gosh, Leena! Of course not! AND I do not look up when I'm nervous!" Thea insisted.

"Yeah, you do."

"You know me so well," she smiled, "but again, I have nothing to say." She paused for a while and then said, "You really still like him, huh? Why?"

 

I took a deep breath and said, "Honestly, I have no idea. 2 years? I mean, come on! He's probably changed a lot by now. His attitude, his personality, his face, his hair. But still, I still... have THAT feeling. And I don't know why. We've had so much fun before, right?"

"Yeah, but that was before, Leena. What's in your head, those are just the memories. The past. He's changed, we've changed."

I giggled. "Some of those memories are irritating though. Like the time he gave me his favorite Beatles shirt and the Disney bracelet. I mean, what was that?"

Thea laughed too. "Do you still have it?"

I thought for a moment before raising my hand and pushing my sleeves up. As I did, a shiny silver bracelet moved around my right wrist at the same time I saw Thea looking disappointed.

"Seriously, you still wear it?!"

"What?! It's really pretty! Even if it wasn't he who gave this to me, I'd still wear it you know," I said back.

"True," she said as she grabbed my arm to get a closer look of my bracelet. The one that he personally gave me. "But it would help, Leena. If you take it off."

I looked at her.

"Why are you having such a hard time, though?", Thea asked with her soft voice as she kept fidgeting with the bracelet.

"Ooooh, come on can we stop talking about this? It's getting all so cheesy! I hate it!", I said jokingly.

"Leens, there are times in your life when you have to be cheesy, okay?"

"Pfft. Says who?!"

"Come on, just answer. Why are you having such a hard time? You barely see him anymore nor talk to him or his family. When it comes to other girls, if they're in a situation like that they'll forget about the guy in no time. Isn't it easier to forget about him now?"

"That's easier said than done. Okay, fine. Here's the thing. I guess, there's this small teeny tiny part of me that's still holding on to something that I know will probably not happen anymore, because deep down inside me I have this little piece of hope that someday it might happen. Like, out of a hundred percent, that little piece of hope is like 1%. I should give it a chance", I said while trying to incorporate my super cheesy line with math. You know, to make it less cheesy.

Thea looked at me for a moment and you can see that she was thinking really hard. "But how about the remaining 99%? Isn't it time to give that majority a chance?"

I smiled at her. Look at her giving amazing advice.

I sighed loudly."Damn. 1% is less than 99%, but when it comes to my feelings, 1% is greater than 99%."

"What you're feeling is so powerful that it even proved Math wrong," Thea said while smiling. "But don't worry, it doesn't stop there. If there's one life lesson that Math teaches us, it's the fact that every problem has it's own corresponding solution. And if  you're smart, there can even be more than 1. You got this, girl!"

 

 

 

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