Dear Monday

The first entry is set in 2014 due to that's when I actually started writing my diary (which I began to transfer onto here when the competition started) and so didn't want to change the official dates due to the competition.

for the diary writing competition

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1. 11th October 2014- Elle

I feel like writing 'dear diary' is too cliché. I also feel like Monday's don't get much credit so I thought I'd write to you.

Today is a Saturday and I promised myself I'd start writing this diary on Monday but I feel like my emotions need to be shared and I can no longer keep them inside me. 

You see Monday, today hasn't exactly been the greatest of days. I've cried twice today, both for near enough reasons but the second time was more painful. You know it's painful when you can literally feel it hurting inside.

Breakups are hard, even if you were never officially together it's the trouble of 'I thought we were on the same page' or 'we're just two friends having fun'... words like that hurt. Especially if you were under the impression that the other wanted to have a relationship, something that was 'more than friends.'

Well it's been like that for 3 years, I don't know how I didn't see it coming. I kept telling myself, he does want a relationship, he fancies me enough so why hasn't he asked me yet. And then I come to find out that he never wanted a relationship. He just wanted a 'friends with benefits' deal which I'm not okay with. 

He says it's fun but it's not. Not when you're the one falling, emotionally falling and it always ends up with you being hurt the most. You get picked up by reality when you realise it was never going to turn out the way you wanted it to. It leaves you alone, and without knowing what to do. Just feeling like a hole has been ripped out after having to say goodbye to someone you love.  

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