Flash diary comp: a year in the making

Apart of the competition for the year long diary. I am a normal teenager with a life different from all the others, read what it's all about.

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8. May 15, 2015

The school day was not good at all. He and I barely talked and all I want is to know him better! I want him to know who I am and vise versa and I want him to speak comfortably around me where it's okay to touch and I can send my little signals that I'm into him. I want to hug him but I'm too nervous to initiate anything. I'm on my period too so my emotions are all riled up. After school I walked with J and two boys to Starbucks down the street from school. I didn't tell my parents because I wasn't doing anything bad but my mom works at a bank right across the street so it was nerve wracking walking past her job. I hid behind all three of them as we walked by strategically so that she didn't see me. We took longer than I anticipated and I had to run home to get my younger brothers off the bus. My backpack was still at school so I needed to go back or get it home somehow. My friend told me I should go for a run with her at the time boys volleyball practice ends so I can run into my crush but there was an emergency meeting at work so my mom wasn't home on time. J had called and said she tried stalling but that I missed him and he already started to walk home, at least she thought. Luckily my grandparents stopped by to see my mom and they took my brothers up the street for some food. I decided I would still go for a run and get my backpack since no one was home and the house was mostly clean. I started my quick run to school and I was half way there going down the road when I see his figure in the distance walking home. I started to run fast, I hadn't sprinted so fast in my entire life. He didn't see my state of panic though because while I was sprinting he had stopped to tie both of his shoes. By the time he stood up I made it to the corner across the small suburban street we were standing on and sighed loudly to get his attention. When he looked at me I looked at him and acted so surprised before walking over to him. We had talked briefly about my runs and how his season was going. Inside I was so happy that we met like this and didn't know what to say. I wanted to keep talking and so did he because neither of us wanted to walk away. Both of us were still extremely nervous and couldn't think of anything so sadly we had parted ways and I ran over to the school and told my friend everything. While he and I were talking every time I looked at him he was already there waiting to look back into mine. I couldn't hold the eye contact with him though because I was trying to catch my breath, stay calm, talk as normal as possible, and think of something to keep the conversation going all at once. I was racking my brain do anything that would start a really good conversation where we started to walk together as we talked. After I met with J we talked more and I can't stop thinking about everything I wanted to happen in that moment. WE WERE ALONE WITHOUT HIS FRIENDS NAGGING HIM AND WITHOUT BELLS TO STOP US. I JUST WANT MORE TIME TO KNOW HIM!! It's just not fair or easy.

-N

(I'm above 500 words but I needed this; it truly is a really journal for me)

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