Prodigy's Life in Vague, Enigmatic, Slightly Confusing Terms

This diary does not (entirely) reflect my life, but perhaps my sole purpose of living: to have you leave more confused than you came in. Everything within is the truth, if you can manage to decipher it. Viel gluck, meine landeskunde.

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78. Monday, July 20th.

My parents have started watching Jeopardy on a daily basis. I fear they have crossed into another stage in their lives that signifies their age.

 

So my friend and I were at Walmart when we came across a discarded, sketchy looking flip phone laying in the parking lot. We picked it up, and it had no contacts, no text messages, and the sticker over the date and time on the front was still there. I'm only telling you this so that if I receive a voicemail of my death and am subsequently murdered, you'll learn from it. 

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