Rants from 2am

I'm often kept Up at night with my thoughts running Wildly through my head. I let all walks down and throw all criticism out the window and this is when I rant about life and the past and the future and everything else in between. This is a compilation of all those times.

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1. Melbourne

do you remember melbourne. we thought we would move there together. looking at a photo i took from the the window of the hotel i remembered the sort of happiness that i felt with a sad and numb undertone. I remember falling for you and to imagin all the shit that was going to happen. looking back on it now how immature and childish we all were running around pretending we were grown ups. destroying ourselves and each other with all the stupid drama. we completely destroyed each other and i tore myself apart over you. it's so stupid and yet i still feel so much pain from breaking apart of myself and now I'm realising there were things about me that i killed with all the smoking and the fucking drinking and days i won't remember because i was drunk and nights i don't remember properly because of trying to destroy myself every fucking night and day. I'm never going to get back some parts of me and i have to find new ways to fill them like plaster covering up the foundation of the walls, thats what i did. i plastered my skeleton and there are so many parts of me you could punch through and they would crumble and fall away to a big gaping hole of nothing.

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