Parry Rotter And The Quest For Evil

A Harry Potter parody!


1. Story 1

Parry Rotter was raised by mutant moles. Ever since he went to the zoo 10 years ago a creature named Voldewart bit him and gave him a wart on his cheek. He had big, bulgy glasses and greasy, scraggly hair. It always looked like a mess. He always wore an old toga.

The moles were usually kind to him. Kind, but very firm. Parry didn’t like living in a hole, yet he knew the moles were kind to let him live there. He also used to hate dirt, but after years to come he finally got used to it. When they left the hole to go on patrol, he usually found some fruit on the trees and bushes above their home. That sure was a treat.

But something else happened this time.

Hunters spotted him! And the hunters said, “Whatcha doin’ out here, boy?”

“I’m waiting for the moles I live with,” Parry said.

The hunters laughed. “You live with moles?!”

“Um, yes. I got adopted. And my family is approaching.”

“Well, if you live with moles you might as well be one.” They cocked their guns. Bullets rained all around the poor boy. He tried to scramble for cover, but the bullets kept coming.

Suddenly, a 6-foot man rushed at them from behind. He bashed one hunter in the head, catching the attention of the second. The second hunter ran away.

The six-foot man’s name was Hodor. “I’ve got something to tell you, Parry.”

“Okay,” said Parry. “First, thanks for saving my life. Second, what do you have to say?”

“You’re a wizard, Parry.”

“I’m a what?”

“A wizard. Obviously you’re not a Muggle. What else could you be?”

“I don’t even know what that is.”

“Never mind the small talk. Off to Diagon Alley.”

After they bought their wand and textbooks, Parry had a question for Hodor. “Mr. Stupid NoHead—he killed my parents, didn’t he?”


“We must find him!”

“And…you wish to skip school! You’re not even a first-year yet!”

“IDC about my status.”

Parry met R. Weasel and Hermy, and together they set out to destroy NoHead.

“But first we must find his Horcrux,” said Hermy. “He’s only got one.”

Finally they found him! They fought him with their wands. Parry was badly losing, and R. Weasel kept tripping over his school clothes. Hermy, however, was about to say something, but cut off when a spell hit too close by. In the end, NoHead was forced to relinquish.

After that they built a spaceship. “Let’s find a Jedi!” said Hermy.


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