Tom Bombadil

I had to write parody for my creative writing seminar and if there's one thing I have a strong opposition to, it's Tom Bombadil from Lord of the Rings. Tolkein's works are amongst my favourite, but its just this character who makes me extremely angry.

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1. Diddlee diddlle dee

Diddle dee-dee, I’m Tom Bombadil,

The overbearing leprechaun you want to kill,

I skip across hills all day long

With nothing better to do than sign a song.

 

I prance about in yellow shoes

It’s like I’ve had way too much booze.

I talk in riddles just to be coy,

Supposed to be a man, act like a boy.

 

I confuse the hell out of those I see,

It’s not about them, it’s all about me.

Tolkein gives me ample time

To bloody skip and talk in rhyme.

 

I’m the most irritating thing in his works

But everyone loves the elf that shirks.

Even though I think I am so great,

I do not have a single mate.

 

To hobbits that stumble across my path,

I don’t offer help, I point and laugh.

No one is quite as trippy as me

That’s why I live with one Goldberry.

 

I’ve stood too long talking to you

It’s not like I’ve got anything to do

But I feel the need to hopscotch away

And annoy someone else on this day. 

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