I had nowhere else to go. I started walking aimlessly, not even trying to find a place to sleep. Silent tears ran down my face. When did I start being so stupid? I should have never even took that job, let alone cheat on John… I need a place to stay at, but my friends would never forgive me if I told them that I cheated on John. I walked up to a cheap hotel and booked it, putting my stuff on the bed, and grabbing my wallet. I knew exactly where I was going to go.
I didn’t even bother tidying myself up before leaving the hotel room, I didn’t need it where I was going. I grabbed my hoodie and pulled it over my head, tugging the hood up. I walked out the door and reached the sidewalk. It started to rain… I love rain. Plus, it perfectly matched my mood right now. My tears had stopped a rather long time ago, but my heart felt so heavy. The tears had stained my cheeks and my lack of sleep caused there to be shades under my eyes. I looked like crap. I walked anyway, only one place on my mind.
When I finally got there I sighed in relief. I need this so much. I open the door and my eyes started to sting. It was so bright, can’t they just turn them off? I walked in anyway, my eyes only slightly adjusting. I sit on one of the stools, fresh tears starting to flow down my face. What have I done?
I ordered a whiskey, being extremely blunt. I just wanted to get drunk. Theres no point but to forget. I downed the drink, embracing the buzz. I ordered another, drinking this one a bit slower. This felt amazing. I was a fubbling idiot trying to order another drink, but they still
understood what I was trying to say. The bartender made me another drink, but hesitated to give it to me.
“Hey, you sure you want another drink? You’ve had plenty tonight.” she asked.
“Give it to me.” I said, my voice very raspy. I kept my head down, more tears escaping from my eyes. I wasn’t drunk enough.
“Please sir, you don’t have any friends with you to drive you home and you can’t go out this drunk. Here, use my phone to call someone you know.” she said handing me her phone. Reluctant to call anyone, I settled on calling Alana, not knowing anyone else who would stay up this late eating skittles. I dialed her number after some time, struggling to remember it. She picked up on the fourth ring.
“Who is this?” she asked.
“It’s Kadin.” I responded, my voice scratching even more.
“This isn’t your number Kadin! Also, why are you calling at four in the morning?” she questioned. Is it seriously four? I’ve been here for like two hours!
“S-sorrrrrry, I need a r-ride.” I slurred. She obviously noticed my drinking.
“Why are you drunk at four in the morning? You know what, explain later. I’ll be there in a sec.” and she hung up. I handed the phone back to the bartender and laid my head down onto the bar.
-Time Skip until Alana gets there-
Alana led me out to her car and helped me in. Walking was a lot harder drunk. Once we were both in the car, she looked at me expectantly. “So?” she question more.
“So…” I retorted, knowing what she wanted me to explain.
“Don’t pull that shit with me, Kadin, you know exactly what I am asking you about!” she yelled, obviously stressed.
“Please… Don’t yell at me…” I say quietly, even more tears start streaming down my face.
“I’m so sorry Kadin, I didn’t mean to. I’m just a little tired.” Alana tried, but she obviously more than tired. “What… What happened?” she pursued.
“J-John… We fought again… I went to far Alana! I fucking ruined it! I c-can’t go back…” I cried, tears dripping onto my crummy black hoodie.
“Oh… I'm really sorry Kadin…” that was the last thing she said until we reached her house.
I wobbled into the house and collapsed onto the floor. Alana helped my up and onto the couch. She told me that she was going to get some blankets and I immediately thought of the day John and I met… that kiss was so real… I felt something wet on my cheek once more, but ignored it. I’m going to be really dehydrated in the morning. Plus, I’ll have one hell of a hangover. If you can’t tell, I’m not good with alcohol. I am not very tolerant, so I get very drunk, very easily. Alana came back with the blankets and placed them on the couch. “Sleep whenever you want to, all of the food in the fridge is yours.” she said as she left. “Call me if you need anything, I have to get back to my senpai.” and she was gone. I sighed and laid on the sofa.
-Time Skip to Morning-
I woke up to my head pounding. So this is what a hangover feels like. I tried to get up from the couch, but my body wouldn’t let me. Never mind the headache, the thing that hurt the worst was my heart. Its was so heavy in my chest, pulling me down, engulfing me. It… Hurt so much…
“Kadin, what do you want for breakfast?” Hannah yelled from the kitchen. “Urng” was the response I gave. “Suit yourself. I’m not going to get you any coffee then…” she retorted, I could hear the smile on her face. “Wait no! Please, coffee!” I yelled, rolling off the couch and onto the carpet.
“HAAAAAAAANNAH!” I yelled, catching the attention of the woman in front of me.
“Wat” she replied bluntly, making a derpy face.
“HAAAAAANNAH MY HEEEAAAAD HUUURRRRTS!” I replied, rolling back and forth on the carpet. She gave me an aspirin and walked back into the kitchen. I took it and walked into the kitchen behind her. Their kitchen was a dank and cozy, It made me feel at home. I hadn’t talked to Hannah nor Alana for about a year, so calling them at four in the morning, drunk, and depressed seemed to get off on the wrong foot.
“Hey um Hannah? Sorry for intruding your home, drunk. I really had nowhere else to go besides this crappy hotel I… left my stuff in! Do you um… mind if I crash here for a bit? I’ll pay rent if you want!” I said, basically pleading. I had no food, no place to go, and worst of all, no boyfriend.
“Sure, and no need to pay rent.” she chuckled, setting a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me. “Oh thank you so much! You are a life saver!” I sighed. I picked up a fork and started eating. THIS TASTES HEAVENLY. I shoveled the amazing food into my mouth, barely leaving room to breathe. I tried to say, ‘Hannah, I didn’t know you could cook.’ but it ended up sounding like, “Hanruf, I dinf now yur culd curk.” and she laughed. I would have laughed but then I would have probably choked and died. At the time of the laughing fit Hannah was having, Alana walked into the room, with her iconic massive bedhead. She rubbed her eyes and slipped on her glasses. She looked around the room confused about the laughter, which only made Hannah laugh harder.
“Um did I miss something?” Alana asked, picking up a plate and filling it with food. Hannah then fell on the floor, laughing so much that even I was confused and I was here the whole time. “I did a thing that caused her to do a thing and when you came in not knowing the thing, she did another thing even more, you feel me?” I said, smiling.
Alana then shook her head and chuckled, brushing it off as nothing as she ate her food. “Oh also, I need to go see Mark today so I’ll be gone for a bit.” she mentions as Hannah finally starts getting up. She wipes a tear from her eye and says, “Ok, I might have to go to work too but its debatable.” I hadn’t heard of their jobs before. I mean it was obvious they had jobs since they had a house, food, and other crap, but I wasn’t in touch with them enough to know what they are.
“Where do you guys work?” I ask while finishing my food.
“I am a Youtuber and Hannah is a hairdresser.” she responds, getting up from her stool. She put her plate on the counter and kissed Hannah. “Thanks for the breakfast, babe. Lovely as always.” she says. “No problem Alana-chan.” Hannah responds. I start feeling uncomfortable so I clear my plate and lay back down on the couch. My head still pounding, the medicine not kicking in yet. I realize that I probably smell of alcohol and sweat, so I walk back into the kitchen. “Hey Hannah, mind if I use your shower?” I ask wondering what products they have. Definitely not male body wash, so I will have to deal with smelling like a woman for today.
“Sure, upstairs, take a left it should be at the end of the hall.” she responds politely. I sigh in relief and slowly start traveling to the bathroom.
After my shower, I realized I didn’t have any new clothes to change into. I wrapped the towel around my waist and stepped out of the bathroom. At the same time, I was met with Hannah. “Oh um hi Kadin…” she said blushing. “You don’t have clothes on…” I couldn’t understand why she was blushing, we are both really good friends, I have a towel on, and she has a wife!
“Good observation. All my clothes are back at my apartment…” I mention, looking at the floor. She immediately looked at me with pity and offered, “I can ask Alana to drop by your apartment to back a couple bags for you.”
“If it isn’t any trouble, but I can just go get them myself.” I say, really not wanting to go back. “Oh no, its fine.” Hannah says as she glances down, blushing even more. “Do you want me to go but on my clothes from last night or…?” I ask, hoping that I don’t mess up their relationship too. “Um yeah sure ok… I going to go over here now…” she replies.
I walk back into the bathroom and put my other clothes. I realized that how much they reek of alcohol. It kind of disgusted me, but I know that it wouldn’t be the last time I will smell of it. I walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen to see a note on the counter. It read:
“Gone off to work, be back at 8 o’clock. Alana should be home earlier than that. If you get hungry, you can eat anything in the fridge BUT the eggs and milk, Alana’s birthday is coming up ;) -Hannah” I guess I’ll have the house to myself for now. Alana’s bound to have some video games in her office, she’s a gaming Youtuber for christ’s sake. I decided to look around for something to play until Alana comes home.
I made my way back upstairs and looked around for Alana’s office. Their house was pretty big, but I found the right room after a couple minutes of searching. I walk into the room and was immediately bombarded with awesome. The room was filled with games to the brim, from Sonic Boom to GTA V. There were shelves upon shelves of merchandise as well. This room was every gamer’s dream. She also had a massive TV along with a PS4, a XBox(360 of course, XBox1 sucks), a N64, a GameCube, a Wii U, and the list goes on. In the corner of the padded room was a three monitor setup with an AlienWare desktop computer and a microphone in front of it. She had a bunch of crap! Well, awesome crap anyway. I booted up her computer and decided to look on Steam for a game to play. Looking at the library of games she had, it showed that she had bought over 200 games, it was like the beginning of Steam Train right here. I decided to play Goat Simulator to kill time.
-Time Skip to later in the Afternoon-
I had gone through a number of games, and realized I had been playing for hours. Wow, time really does pass when you are having fun. It was around 3 o’clock and I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Oh well, its not like they’ll notice. My attention was taken away from the screen when I heard the door open, close, and then someone yelling. It must have been Alana, Hannah wasn’t supposed to be home until eight. I decided to go downstairs and see what the commotion was all about.
Sure enough, Alana was standing in the living room, yelling her head off. “WHAT DID YOU DO?!” she screamed, not quite in my face, but I could still feel her breath as she shouted.
“What?” I really didn’t know what was going on. I was just playing games… she might be mad that I was playing on her computer. Wait, how would she know of that, she only just got here!
“John is a wreck. What did you do?” Oh. I hunched slightly at the sound of his name. I could feel my eyes as they welled up, but I blinked my tears away. Not today.
“I messed up big time, Alana. And not just because we were yelling. I really really messed up.” I responded, feeling a bit winded from the sudden argument about my boyfriend. Well, ex now. I sat down on the couch, at looked at the white carpet on the floor. I didn’t want to look at Alana, I could feel her pitying gaze. I felt the couch dip as she sat next to me, putting her hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her, staring into her eyes. I didn’t notice how beautiful they are until now, how all of the colors mixed with each other look make a nice over-all blue. You could just get… lost in them. And so I did.
I smashed my lips onto hers, pinning her on the couch. I clung onto her chest, pulling on her shirt slightly. My hands started roaming around her back, unclipping her bra. The next thing I knew, a shot of pain went into my stomach and I pulled away. Alana’s short hair was all messed up and she looked enraged.
“WHAT WAS THAT?!” I immediately regretted my decision. “I GET THAT YOU’RE HORNY NOT HAVING YOUR BOYFRIEND AND ALL, BUT DUDE, I’M MARRIED. AND TO A GIRL.” her face was starting to turn red, her eyes shot daggers through my heart. Why did I do that? I don’t love her like I do John! AND SHE’S FUCKING MARRIED! Oh Hannah is going to kill me, if Alana doesn’t do it first.
I couldn’t take it. I dashed towards the door, grabbing the bags full of, what I assume, my clothes, and ran outside. I ruin everything! Not only my relationship, but the relationship of my best friend and her wife! You fucking idiot! What came over you?! You should be trying to get your boyfriend back, not making out with your best friend! I couldn’t stop the tears. They streamed down my face, blurring my vision. I didn’t know where I was going, but to be honest, I didn’t really care. Anywhere but here was fine by me. I ran out into the street in front of Alana’s neighborhood, not even looking where I was going. I looked to my left with blurred vision, an outline of something heading towards me. The next thing I knew, darkness.