It's July third. 4 years since my dad was killed I stand at his grave alone.
"Hi daddy. I miss you". I look around at the cemetery. "It feels like yesterday they buried you here". I garb a peace of paper out of my purse. I begin to read what's on the paper " Things I miss about you I miss your smile, So calming I miss your hugs, so warm I miss your voice, so wise I miss your hands, so strong I miss every thing that involved you But the things I miss most of all are simple things I miss your whisker rubs i haven't let anyone else do that to me I want the last one to have been yours. I miss drinking sweet tea out of old cheese whiz jars and eating plums well camping. I miss watching you snooze on the chesterfield and laughing at your loud snoring. I miss watching you shine your medals you earned from work My favourite memories with you are part of things I miss most about you but I have favourite memories that didn't happen lots When you uncle Doug and I went for a drive in the semi. we stopped so I could youse the washroom, I got to get a candy I asked for a kit Kat. thats my first memory of me eating them I don't know If I had them before or not but you and I shared my favourite treat together I think I shared with uncle Doug too. One day when I was 4 you decided I needed to learn how to ride my bike with 2 wheels you took off my training wheels. You held the seat and I started going faster then you could run and you let go. since then I have fallen off of the many bikes I have had. Last but not least.on my 14th birthday you got me a golden necklace that said love with a heart dim and under the word. I remember being to happy to get it. I haven't taken it off sense I put it on for your funeral. It's been 4years since you left me and are family, it's still the hardest day every year. When I Graduate I wished you could of been there but I knew you were and that you are so proud of me you have always been proud of me. You never get over when some one you love dies you just learn to live with out them. Your were the best daddy a girl could ever ask for I wouldn't miss you so much if I could visit heaven but I can't so I write this I don't know why I write this to make me feel better or so that you know how much you means to me". (Author note. What Kayleigh wrote is just something I modified that I wrote about my grandpa. If you want to read the real thing it's my other story called to my grandpa.) I began to cry. "Daddy I miss you so much. Why did you have to leave me"? I fall to the ground. I think about the day he died FLASH BACK "Kayleigh turn on the news" my grandma asked as she walked into the living room. "Alright" I turned it on "Breaking news 2 rcmp officers have been killed" I dropped the remote. "Grandma" I say starting to cry they never said who they were but I knew he was there he had called me before he was called to work because of a crazy man. "Do you think he is one who got killed"? I asked "I can't think like that and neither should you". She said Dad was my grandmas son in law but she loved him like a son.I ran to grandma and hugged her I needed her to calm me down. Then the phone rings and my grandma answers "Hello" "He ... He is dead mom he is gone" my mother said crying. "He can't be" "He is mom I just identified his body. Matts gone". "Do you" "Please. Please tell her I can't tell her. I want to but your better at That then I am. Can you go pic mike up at work and tell him to before matts name is announced on tv". "Yes any thing you need we are there". The moment grandma looked at me I knew "He is" "Daddy he is gone" "Yes sweetie . He died protecting us, doing what he loved". "He left me. He promised he would always be here for me". Then grandpa walked in "Bill go get mike from work tell him his father is gone" "He died"? "Yes. Now go quickly" she said to him." Sweaty he is always going to be with you" she then touches my chest"he is always going to be in here. Your father loves you so much if he had a choice he would still be here". "Grandma can I stay here tonight"? I asked "Yes Kayleigh" 5 days later was his funeral. The last time I saw my dads body. He was cold and sad looking. I was to talk about him at the funeral. "My dad was the best man I will ever know. He died protecting us".I started to cry. "One of his coworkers said his last words were tell my family I love them and tell my kids I am proud of them". I breathed " well daddy I am proud of you. You stepped in front of that bullet to save a child's life". I look around. "He was so selfless, he was so wise, he was so caring, he was so loving, he was the best father I could have ever asked for. I love you daddy. goodbye". I stepped down off of the podium and walk to his open casket and give him a kiss on the forehead my clear lipgloss leaving a mark on his skin. FLASH BACK OVER I stand up. I feel some ones hand on my shoulder I turn and look but no one is there, but I feel my dads presence. "Daddy when will I be okay with you being gone"? There is no answer. I knew there wouldn't be but I had to ask. "why did that man have to shot at that child"? I am mad at that man. I wished I could kill him with out going to jail. On the drive back to the hotel mom and dads song came on and I turn it up. When I get into are hotel room Niall comes and gives me a hug. "How was it"? He asked "Hard. I miss him I know you know that but the more I say that the more it get easier to deal with". "I wish I could have meet him" "I wish you could to. I wish he never died in the first place" "I know you wish that" " this necklace I never take of he gave to me on my 14th birthday. When I opened the precent my jaw dropped, I knew it was expensive. He said it so you always know how much I love you". " it really is beautiful" "I loved it but after he died I clung to it. When the chain broke Immediately got the charm on a string and got it fixed. When ever I miss him I look at the charm and feel a little better". "I don't know what to say, no one so important in my life has died. Al I can do is hug you". "Then hug me". Nialls prov 2 days later we are home We are in the doctors office for an ultrasound. "Kayleigh miller" a nurse said We get up and follow her. When we get into the Room Kayleigh Gets ready. "Hey guys how have you been"? "Great" I said "Let's check on the baby" She puts the blue ultrasound goop on Kayleigh's stomach. "There the baby. It looks like and actual baby know". "aw she is sucking her thumb" Kayleigh said "Yes it is. At week 20 you can find out if it's a boy or a girl". " can we book the appointment now" I ask "Yes what day would work in the last week of August"? "27 at 8 in the morning" Kayleigh said " I have to record music at 10" I said "Sounds good" We left and go home.