"What the fuck do you mean this is my fault?!" I spit at Kellin, quietly but aggressively.
He had pulled me aside and decided to tell me that all this was my fault, and I had no reason to be upset.
"If you hadn't of hurt her in the first place, she would've stayed in tour and she wouldn't of started hurting herself again!" He fumes at me.
"How.... How bad was the self harming..?" I mutter and look down.
"Worse than before you came into the picture." He growls.
"Look, I know I have a lot to blame on myself but seriously? Were supposed to be sticking together through this all at least until she's better. After that you can hate me as much as you want, but not until she's okay again."
"Whatever you say asshole. No matter if she's okay again, it'll never be the same. I'm never forgiving you for this. Fuck you Justin." He says, lifelessly and walks away.
I groan and sit on the floor, leaning against the wall.
This needs to be okay. I need her.
Seriously. I've been trying for forever to at least try and figure out what away going on. But every time I try, nothing seems to make sense.
This is fucking terrible. This has to be over soon.
*2 weeks later*
Still nothing. She had barely any response to anyone it anything. But she was still breathing. Barely, but still breathing.
Me, Justin, Jesse, Tay and Juliet have hardly left the hospital. The others all left and told us to call if anything was happening.
Doctors are saying there isn't a great chance for her, and honestly. Them saying that is killing any bit of hope I had left.
I'd been caught up in my own little dreamland these past few days. The only times I'd actually clue into anything is when Tay would talk to me. She's the only one that could actually calm me down now.
Me and Tay were quietly talking about nothing important when everything seemed to stop.
Doctors were everywhere and running around yelling something about an emergency in ICU.
It was no regular emergency either.
It was an emergency involving a 22 year old girl who was admitted because of a suicide attempt.
Nothing seemed right. I was crying, Kellin and Justin were too. Jesse was unreadable. Juliet and Jesse seemed to only talk to each other and Justin wouldn't talk at all.
Hours passed and still nothing. Doctors seemed to be running from place to place non-stop and it was mind boggling not being able to know what was happening to Rose.
Kellin silently held me in his arms while Jesse was doing the same with Juliet. Justin stared blankly at a wall with a stream of tears rolling down his face.
My breath hitched in my throat as a make doctor walked into vision.
"Is anyone here for Alexandria Rose?" He asks and looks at us.
We were the only people in the waiting room.
"All of us." I tell him.
"Well... Her heart stopped." He says and we all look at him with wide eyes.
"But," he continues. "We've been able to stabilize her. All of her stats seem to be improving from before this happened, and she seems to be recovering." He says and looks down at the clipboard in his hands.
"So.... Will she be okay?" Kellin asks slowly as we all look at him In
"Well... It depends. If she keeps up at this rate, there's a good chance she will, but only time can tell." He says and smiles sympathetically at us.
"Okay... Thank you." Juliet says quietly.
He nods and walks back to wherever the hell he came from.
I just hope he's right and she does recover. Nothing would be the same if she were to die.