Siting in the waiting room with my best friends trading my babies around and waiting for the love of my life to be okay is extremely nerve-wracking. Every time you see a doctor you get this little sliver of hope, but as soon as they walk by the amount of hopelessness you feel is unexplainable.
I've been trying my hardest not to cry, but a lot of the time it hasn't been working. It's extremely difficult to maintain hope after what had just happened. I basically saw Rose die. I held her hand as she died. But I can't even think like that, what happens if she is okay? We get the big happy family we wanted?
I cannot lose her, it would kill me. She needs to be okay so she can see our babies grow up. She needs to be okay so she can help Jack and Gabe with their wedding. She needs to be okay so she can marry me. She needs to be okay so I can spend the rest of my life with her.
Yes, marry. If she makes it out okay, I want to marry her. I made a promise we would one day, and I realize that I cannot live without her. We have two kids and I want to be with her, forever.
I was lost in an endless sea of thoughts and tears when a doctor comes out and stands in front of me.
"Um.. Hello? Sir?" He asks snapping me out of my daze.
"Oh, uh yes?" I ask.
"Well, I'm going to spare you all of the details and tell you that Ms. Rose is okay." He tells me and smiles.
My heart imploded with extreme amounts of joy at those words. She's okay. "Thank god! Um.. What exactly happened to her?" I ask him.
"Well, some complications came while she was giving birth to the second child, and her heart gave out. After a last-resort surgery, she is fine and breathing. Surprisingly, she is awake. You can go see her now if you want." He tells me.
I nod and jump up. He begins walking down a hall after telling me to follow, which I did. He stops in front of a room and tells me I can go in. I open the door and step in, seeing a very tired looking Rose. She was even paler than usual, but she still had a smile on her beautiful face.
"Hey baby girl," I say softly, walking towards her.
"Hey," she says hoarsely.
This whole scene kind of reminded me of when she was in the hospital for a suicide attempt, but instead of tears on her face, she has a huge smile. "How are my babies?" She asks.
"Healthy and happy, I can go get them if you'd like." I say and she nods.
I smile and kiss her head. I walk out and motion for Tay and Kellin to follow me and bring the kids. I lead them down to her room and bring them all in.
I take Grey and smile at Rose. "Meet Greyson Kellin Hills." I say and I see a tear fall down her cheek.
"C-can I hold him?" She asks quietly.
"You don't have to ask, he's yours too, Rose." I tell her and hand him to her.
She cradles him gently in her arms and I can see a look of pure happiness on her face. "And my other baby?"
I take Grey and hand him back to Tay and take Cadence from Kellin. "And here is Cadence Tay Hills." I say and hand her to Rose.
She smiles down at her and I watch the scene in front of me. This is what a being a family is really about.
Holding my own children may have been the best thing that's ever happened to me. Both of them are absolutely perfect in every single way. I couldn't have asked for anything more perfect than these two.
Eventually Tay and Kells leave just me, Justin, Grey and Cade together. This is our family, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
The thought of me almost dying, actually scared me. I was terrified that I wouldn't get to see my kids grow up into the sassy teenagers I knew they'd be, and eventually adults. Its weird to think that far into the future, but eventually it's going to happen. I knew there would be so much I would miss out on. The first day of school, all of the stupid heartbreaks, the tests and late night studying. The party's and the fake friends. Rumours and enemy's. Prom and graduation, and then eventually marriage and children of their own.
I can't even begin to explain to you the joy coursing through my body in this moment. I had the three people I love most with me right now. I made the right choice choosing Justin. I know it probably sounds terrible, but I never could have been this happy with Kellin. There was never a spark as big as the one with Justin. There was nothing fuelling the love. It was just there. Now, with Justin it's a completely different story.
My heart races every time I'm close to him and when he even so much as touches me I forget the world. He has the capability to control me without even knowing he can. He has me wrapped around his fucking finger and he doesn't know it. I would do anything for this boy, and now we have a family together. I have two beautiful kids with the guy that I've fallen utterly and insanely in love with.
It's been a hell of a ride, and there was many tears of heartbreak, sadness, fear and even happiness. He broke me and then picked up all the pieces and mended me back together. Through it all, he was here. Even though he's made bad decisions, he's human. Just like me and just like you. Mistakes are inevitable and the only stupid decision that could be made was me not forgiving him. He hurt me, yes, no doubt. But taking into consideration he is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Thinking back on all the shit we've been through, it's been a real hell of a ride. It just goes to show that life is scary sometimes, but all you need is a little love from you friends and your family to pull you through. I've also learned that giving up isn't a choice. If you give up you can't see what your life could turn out to be. I almost killed myself, thinking nothing would ever come out of this, but look what happened. I have kids, I have Justin and I have all of my friends. What more would I need? So, I've learned that you shouldn't give up because you're losing. You haven't lost.
You know what else I've learned?
That when you have today, you should say all that you have to say.
YES HELLO HI!!!!
Unfortunately, this is the end of SWYHT. It's been a real fucking thrill writing this for you guys. I've loved it, but I guess the fun ends here. I kiss ran out of ideas for this story. Pls don't hate me I love you. Don't fear my children's, there IS and epilogue. I promise I wouldn't just leave you like this. It may not be very long, but there will be an epilogue so do keep reading.
Thank you all so so so much for reading this shit and sticking with me through all of my fuckery. I know I'm probably annoying, but yet you're still here. THANK YOU I LOVE YOU
KISSES AND HUGS FOR ALL
STAY TUNED AND STAY PERFECT YOU AMAZING PEOPLE!
ALSO FOR ANYONE GOING THROUGH ANYTHING, STAY STRONG. FUCKING PROMISE ME YOU WONT HARM YOURSELF. YOU ARE WORTH IT AND I LOVE YOU. MESSAGE ME IF YOU NEED SOMEONE. I. AM. HERE.
I LOVE YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️