Zander's Song

The dim light of the bathroom flickered occasionally and illuminated the hooded silhouette with the shaking shoulders crouched in the corner. The boy's stifled sobs could be heard and the tears that fell from his eyes glistened as they fell and mixed with the crimson droplets of blood that littered the floor that surrounded him.

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DISCLAIMER: This is a character study of Zander Robbins from Nickelodeon's 'How to Rock'. It contains the lyrics to Adam's Song by Blink-182. I DO NOT OWN HOW TO ROCK OR BLINK 182.

 

 Don't forget to review and give me some constructive criticism.

Enjoy :)

-Bauer05 

 

 

 

 

I never thought I'd die alone

I laughed the loudest who'd have known?

I traced the cord back to the wall

No wonder it was never plugged in at all

I took my time, I hurried up

The choice was mine I didn't think enough

I'm too depressed to go on

You'll be sorry when I'm gone

 

Slender fingers curled around the sharp silver blade. Hands shook and trembled in the dim light and a sharp clatter could be heard as the blade  tumbled blindly to the floor. It was dark and cold. The dim light of the bathroom flickered occasionally and illuminated the hooded silhouette with the shaking shoulders crouched in the corner. The boy's stifled sobs could be heard and the tears that fell from his eyes glistened as they fell  and mixed with the crimson droplets of blood that littered the floor that surrounded him.

 

I never conquered, rarely came

16 just held such better days

Days when I still felt alive

We couldn't wait to get outside

The world was wide, too late to try

The tour was over we'd survived

I couldn't wait till I got home

To pass the time in my room alone

 

He was all alone now. Band practise was over for the day. Every happy thought that was in his mind had vacated the premises. His demons had come out to play. Worthless. Ugly. Fat. The words swam through his head and repeated themselves over and over again like some sort of satanic chant. Worthless. Ugly. Fat. He had been alone in his room for hours now and his family had retired to their rooms, sleeping peacefully like they always do. Confident that they would not be disturbed from their slumber, the boy retreated to dirty bathroom that stood across the hall from his small room. His fingers ached for the blade and his wrists itched for a cut.

 

I never thought I'd die alone

Another six months I'll be unknown

Give all my things to all my friends

You'll never step foot in my room again

You'll close it off, board it up

Remember the time that I spilled the cup

Of apple juice in the hall

Please tell mom this is not her fault

 

His parents never knew about the bullying. Or the cutting. Or that sometimes he didn’t think of just killing himself but everyone else too. His thoughts would constantly drift off to the rifle that lay locked up in his fathers shed. Oh how pleasant the feeling would be to see their faces as he stood above them! Their life left in his possession, begging to be spared! The fear in their eyes as they would realise that he would not spare them! BANG! The ever pleasant sound of death ringing through his ears as he dreamt of his sick fantasy. It scared him, but he knew he would never act upon it.

 

I never conquered, rarely came

16 just held such better days

Days when I still felt alive

We couldn't wait to get outside

The world was wide, too late to try

The tour was over we'd survived

I couldn't wait till I got home

To pass the time in my room alone

 

Today was the day. The day that he would finally get the peace that he had always dreamt of. He was once again sat in the dirty, shit-stained bathroom staring longingly at the silver blade. He held the blade to his wrist and whispered to himself as he made the first incision vertically along his arm. Mama, Papa forgive me. His vision became fuzzy and his chest constricted. Death was bittersweet, but he loved it. He smiled the happiest smile he had in years and lay down on the crusty tiles, letting death consume him. And that was how his little brother found him in the early hours of the morning.

 

I never conquered, rarely came

Tomorrow holds such better days

Days when I can still feel alive

When I can't wait to get outside

The world is wide, the time goes by

The tour is over, I've survived

I can't wait till I get home

To pass the time in my room alone

 

He wasn’t alone. He sat surrounded by friends as he sung them his song. The reason he came to Brewster High, the reason his parents had dropped everything and moved states. They had cried as they listened to his story. Zander didn’t.  He didn't cry, not anymore. He supposed that he had cried a lot on that day and now he had ran out of tears because of it. No, Zander refused to cry. He refused to be sad and scared like his older brother Adam. His brother had been quiet and silently diminishing in front of his family, but no one had noticed. No one had heard him sing his last song. Zander had been the one to find him in the morning but by then it was too late. Adam had  died in a pool of his own blood grinning maniacally. It was because of what his brother went through that Zander made a promise to himself that he would never let anyone be hurt by the cruel words of society and instead would take it upon himself to make them smile and laugh just as his brother made him when they were younger. 

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