9. why is it all ways me
Why is it always me who has a friend in the hospital I mean seriously I'm always the one who has a friend in the hospital. Can't my life be normal oh wait I'm the one who decided to love Michael Clifford, sometimes I regret it I regret every minute of it sometimes. But right now I can't regret it because I love him and he's there when he can because of his job he is a singer I'm an students at a music school and a girl who is a designer I help out with shoes. I love him but sometimes I don't sometimes I think 'what would you do if he wasn't here with you to make you happy' and I answer the question with 'be normal.' I wish I could be normal but what's the use in being a nobody if you want to be somebody it's the fault in me The Fault Dear Brutus, is not in are stars/But in are selves. I love the fault in are stars it's one of my favorite books, the movie sticks to the book well. "SHANNON HELLO ARE YOU ALIVE" someone yells and I fall of the couch "Fuck that hurt" I say. "Well at least we know she's still alive" I think it was Louis that said that "I was in deep though I'm going to bed" I said "me too"Michael said. We walk upstairs I close the door and the next thing I know I'm making out with Michael "let's go to bed" I say breaking are lips apart. "Let's not" he says "Michael that's the closest thing your going to get because no sex for you" I said going to the bathroom and changing I walk back out an Michael is laying on the bed shirtless and wearing the same sweat pants as me. "So you were in choir" Michael asked "yes all the way to high school well the first year of middle school I did band and then I did choir again in 7th grade" I said "so how long have you been singing" Michael asked me, I know what he's doing and it's not going to work. "Well 4 and 5 grade then 7 years so I've been singing for 7 well 8-9 10 next year I will be singing for 10 years by next year and now I'm really tired I'm going to bed." I yawned "you know we have 4 days left to spend together right"Michael says "yeah that's why we are going to make the most of it" I say. " You said that a week before I left the last time and do you really love me Shannon? Tell me the truth" Michael said "sometimes I fell like I regret falling for you but then I say to my self ' he's worth of saying that because I love him and it hurts sometimes but I'm going to not let that hold me because if I do then what will I get out of it.' But I know what I will lose I will lose the most caring person in the world who I love and nothing will change that because there is one thing I will always say at the end of the day to you Clifford and that is I love you" I say he's just staring at me in surprise. I kiss him one more time before I say "You mean everything to me Michael you always will I want you to never forget that because when you leave your going to have to act like I'm with you the hole time because you might miss me but I will always be with you. And I'm not going to stop you from doing what you love and your not just my boyfriend your like a mentor to me because you give me tips on guitar online I hope that you know that I know that you watch every one of my covers I see your comments and I want to answer but that would make the next time I would see you not as special. Because I love you and I do these little things to make you feel like you have never had someone like me with you. And sometimes I wish I could wake up with amnesia so I can forget that I love you because it's hard for me when you leave but I know how to handle it. Because I can imagine that your right by my side all the time and that makes me feel so much better. When your there at an interview and you tell sad imagine that I'm in the crowd watching and wanting you to do your best OKAY." "OKAY" he said "okay" I replied "okay" he said in return "OMG stop flirting with me" I said "I can tell that you love The Fault in are stars" he points out "ya I do can we go to bed now I'm tired" I said "no it's my turn to say something heart filled You mean the world to me as well I might be a jerk at some times but you will always be my friend if I ended up cheating on you I wouldn't do what most people do and lie I would walk up to you and say ' I cheated on you, you will probably not take me back and if you do I want to say sorry. I'm such an idiot for cheating on you' and do you know why I would say that is because you mean more the the world to me we are there for each other and we care for each other we can't drift apart because your always write there for me or with me. It's because at the end of the night, the night changes and I can't remember what I did to get someone like you it was an amazing thing that we started talking on movellas and that left me to think 'how did we end up here's because sometimes I wish we could take the long way home and never drift apart but sometimes that's what happened and we come back together. And at the end of the day I can say one thing, I love you and if we had to we would do it over again." Michael says "Danm it you got more song titles in to it" I said and Michael laughs "I love you Shay to the moon and back" Michael said to me "well I love you more because I'm the doctors I can travel through time and space" I said "I love you" Michael said one more time before putting his arms around my waist and pulling me closer to him "good night" I mumble.
hay guys this chapter made me cry~Shannon