"For what?" I asked with a worried tone in my voice.
"Im so sorry that you have to go through this... Its horrible." He said looking me in the eyes. Gosh his eyes are gorgeous.
"How would you know if its horrible? Not that it isn't horrible but-" i started before Michael interrupted.
"When i was younger like 12 to a year ago i got them all the time. It was rare to have a day without an anxiety or panic attack. Through that i also had severe depression. And now i have permanent reminders of what i went through... If you know what i mean..." He said looking vulnerable and sad.
I swivelled around so i was now facing him. I have never seen him like this and i feel obligated to pick him up like he did for me. I put my hand on his cheek and gave him another peck on the other cheek. I nodded my head in reassurance of what i was going to do and gave him a sad smile.
I ran my hand down from his elbow to his hand taking it in mine and putting it on my lap. I reached down and snaked my fingers under his bracelets he had on, and pulled them off. I gasped. I turned my head away so i didn't have to look. All i saw were discoloured marks all over his arm, there were a few of them that were a lot worse then the others, they were obviously done a lot deeper and wider. I ran my finger over the worst scar. And then over all of them. I counted as i went, there were 79 scars visible. Wow. I looked up at him to see him watching down at me intently. I feel like my heart has been squeezed and wont go back to normal like a doge ball. My eyes are watering and for his sake i am trying to keep them in. I fail, and a tear slips out. He takes his other hand and quickly wipes it away. He lets his hand linger on my cheek for a minute before he looks back down and places his other hand in my lap. I take it and loop my fingers around each bracelet and took them off one by one. I couldn't bear to look at it. There was a scar that was a bright shade of red and bulged out a little that started at his wrist and went up to his elbow. The rest were just a deep shade of purple and were wide and the skin was distorted like it had been stretched. He wiped another few tears away.
"Your the first person who honestly hasn't looked at me any different when seeing those..." He said surprised.
"Well I know what its like."
Michael then gave me a sad look. He took both my hands in his large warm ones and put them on his lap. I had to reach over awkwardly because his arms are longer then mine. It was really uncomfortable.
"Come closer. Im wont bite" i giggled a bit and moved over so i was right in front about 1/4 arms length away. I liked being this close.
I only had a few bracelets on but i had put some makeup over the scars so they were duller. However it didn't really last. He took my right arm first and examined it. The ones he was looking at were fresh and kind of deep. They still hurt so every time my arm moved i flinched. He ran his warm fingertips over the cuts.
"They look new..." He said with sadness in his eyes. "When did you do them?"
"On wednesday." I stated.
I flinched as his finger ran right over the deepest one on that arm.
"They still hurt?"
"Mhm." I said fighting back a few tears at the pain.
He brought my wrist to his face and kissed all the cuts. i watched intently. He kissed them all and went to my other arm which was 10x worse it had many many more cuts and scars. They were all deep but not wide. He shook his head and looked down.
"Your too beautiful of a person inside and out for this." He said bringing that wrist up to his soft lips. It took him a couple minutes to finish. When he did he looked me in the eye.
We gazed in each others eyes for a few minutes before i looked down at my exposed scars and his. A few seconds later before i knew what was happening Michael had me swooped up in his arms and was running in the water.
"Michael! Michael noooo! Im wearing a white top! Put me down! Michael!!" I yelled kicking and screaming.
"All the more reason to go swimming.you are coming in wether you like it or not. Lets face it you have no choice in the matter."
We both laughed and he was about waist deep in the water before he put me down in the water next to him.
He put his hand in mine and dragged me out further. I was up to my chin while he was up to the top of his chest.
"Im so short!" I yelled at him playfully.
"Don't worry. I think its cute." He smirked then splashed me with water.
"Oh flirting now are we?" I laughed. I quite liked this it was fun.
"Maybe..." He splashed me again.
"Hey! This isn't fair i barely have my head out of the water!" I yelled trying to splash him back.
I failed miserably. I ended up going down in the water and getting my hair wet. Luckily i didn't wear too much makeup.
He just laughed at me.
"Come 'ere." He said pulling me up so that i was at about his height. He was supporting me with his one arm as i was at his side. We were just looking at the stars.
"Isn't it beautiful?" I asked him as i looked up at him.
"Yeah. But i know something more beautiful. And shes standing right beside me and i really cant believe that she is."
"Your such a flirt. But i like it." I wrapped my arms around his waist and he brought his other arm to push away a stray hair that was in in my face. He then wiped away the mascara under my eyes.
"Better?" I asked.
"Mikey I'm frozen!" I yelled as i ran out of the water.
"Wait for me!"
We got back to the little blanket and i sat on it. I didn't bring a towel or anything so i didn't know what to dry off with. Michael was right behind me and saw me laying on the blanket shivering. My teeth were chattering too. He went in the bag and pulled out a couple towels. He laid down beside me and put his warm muscular arm around me.
"Jesus christ you feel like an ice cube." He pulled me as close to him as i could get knowing that he was warm. He pulled the towels over me. I put my one leg up and was resting on his toned stomach. My other leg came up to my chest as well to keep me a little warmer. I rested my head on his chest and could hear his steady heartbeat.
"Getting warmer?" He asked.
I have to say i really like Michael. Even though this is our first date i think something is going to happen between us. Or i at least hope something will happen between us.
"Yeah. But my hands are like little ice cubes. Well they always are, but they are colder then ever right now."
"I can fix that" he told me matter-of-factly.
He unwrapped his arm from around my wet waist and grabbed my hands.
I let out a groan as his warm touch left my side.
He took both my hands in his one hand. They both just fit. He then wrapped the other hand tightly around both of ours. He took the hands up to his mouth and started to blow hot air into a little hole he made between his index finger and thumb. He blew on it a couple more times before my hands started to warm up. Finally they did but i didn't admit it because i liked what he was doing.
I leaned over to him with a sudden boost of confidence. I rolled so that my head was right in front of his. He sat up and brought me with him. He put a hand in the crook of my waist and another supporting his weight so he wouldn't fall on me. He leaned in slowly not moving his eyes from mine. He brushed my lips to his in a passionate and romantic kiss. It wasn't heated or anything. Just nice. My first non-forced kiss. I felt fireworks and a swarm of butterflies in my stomach. They had been there all night but they now decided that they didn't like it anymore. I moved one of my hands to his cheek and slowed the kiss so i could pull away. When i did i cane back for a little peck.
God do i ever like him. He is honestly the best guy i have ever met.
I looked down and blushed a deep shade of red.
"I really like you maddy."
"I really like you too, Michael."
We were in the car and almost at my house. I didn't want to be alone tonight. Being home alone freaked me out really scared me. I wont tell Gump that though because i feel like that would be rude and selfish of me.
We arrived back at my house after a 30 minute drive. It was a nice drive we talked about everything. We got out and he walked me to the door.
I stopped at the door and turned around to face him.
"Michael do you mind if you stay over tonight? Its just uncle Gump is out if town like i said earlier and then if your here i definitely wont do that." I motioned to my wrists. "And being alone scares me."
"Yeah of course i'll stay."