I sat around impatiently waiting for Amy to be released from the hospital. My head perked up as I saw movement out of the corner of my eyes. My head fell again as another smiling family walked out of the hospital.
"Hey." Michael poked me. "She only broke her ankle. It's not like she's going to die."
"I know." I muttered. "You know what? I have a really weird feeling in my gut that something bad is going to happen."
"Really?" Michael looked perplexed as I told him. "That's really weird, because so do I."
I shrugged. "I know Amy is okay, but I feel like someone else is in trouble."
"Same." Michael sighed. "You know what? I can't handle this anymore. I'm going to go back to the buses and see what's going on." He declared, standing up.
"Okay, be careful."
"Will do." He said before walking out. I stared at the hallway, hoping that this feeling was nothing too bad.
I choked on more tears but kept scrolling through Twitter under the #DianaNeedsToKillHerself tag. Why was I doing this in the first place?
It's almost as if I'm asking for negative attention. I'm searching for it. I want people to look at me bad. I can't get positive attention from the fans so I look at negative.
This must be depression.
I'm not me anymore. I'm quiet. I used to be fun and exciting. Now I'm dull and worthless. I am nothing. I spend most of my time scrolling through fan hate.
People have literally made accounts that spam me with death threats.
Maybe I'll listen to them...
Who will care?
Maybe Liam. Maybe the rest of the boys. Maybe Amy. Maybe Melanie.
It isn't going to be that big of a deal.
The stars will still shine.
The moon will still come out.
The birds will still chirp at dawn.
The sun will still rise.
The world will still be the same, just minus one human being that brought nothing good to this earth.
So why not?
But he won't care once you're gone. He's famous. He's using you anyway.
Melanie and Amy.
They rarely talk to you anymore. They see how obnoxious you are and that you're a horrible person.
They don't care. They have fame and money, they don't need you.
You were never anything special to them anyways. They'll be glad to hear the news.
People that don't care about you cant hold you back anymore.
It was almost as if I have a voice talking to me negatively in my brain. It's always there to tell me when people lie. A great example is when Liam tells me he loves me. The voice is a great reminder that he doesn't give a damn about me. He's using me. Why else would he date me? He could have anyone in the world but he chooses the worthless fangirl.
I choked back more tears as I grabbed the rope and threw it across the bar on the celling. I tied it to a huge weight and set it on the table before tying the other end of he rope around my neck. I got a small piece of paper and wrote two words on it and set it down on my bunk.
I held the weight in the palm of my hand and sighed, crying very hard now. I heard shouts nearby and suddenly the door opened and Michael came in. His eyes widened and he screamed as I released the weight in panic. I felt a pair of hands attempting to untie the rope around my knock but I was dying. I'll be gone soon and nobody will care anymore.
"DIANA!" Michael yelped. That was the last thing I heard before darkness overcame me.
I'll be in a better place now...