I messed with the wrong people's business. I should have seen it coming, I should have understood that they did not trust me, even though I have risked a lot to save them, even though they know everything about me. I walk down the road, in the middle of the city with my best friend. I noticed that someone was following us, I whisper to my friend «Go ahead, pretend that you don't know me, I will explain later, promise» She does not hesitate, and speed up.
I slowed down, suddenly I stopped. I turned around to see straight at the MC club I've been with. The president and the vice-president were shadowing me. I want to say something, but decide to shut up as I have nothing to fear, not really. They don't say anything either, just nods in the direction of their van. I put my bum inside of the van, not hesitating and I recognise the road as we were heading for the club house. As we reached the house, we all step out of the car. I wondered were everyone else were, but did not say anything. I walked inside the club house, that I've spent a lot of time inside, having a lot of fun, bonding with the club, fighting with them.
The president sits down at a table, and the VP shortly follows him. I on the other hand, was still standing and I believe I made my choice right. The door opened and a familiar man walks inside, he was one of my best friends from my childhood. He was carrying a envelope, on his hands there were gloves made out of leather. I understood what that meant, his fingerprints were to be undiscovered. He dumps the envelope in my hands and I glanced over the table, wondering what this was all about. “Go down stairs to the basement, and you know what to do” The voice of the president was cold, and I began to understand what was going on, I still have to figure out some more, but the information will come.
I nod, and step downstairs without any hesitations. The basement were all empty, I was used to light and party, a lot of life and now it was all dark and dead. What had happen here? I haven't seen these guys in over a month, where is every one? Why were they so strange to me? I sat down on the floor, decided to open the envelope. Inside were a razor blade. They knew about my previous self harm, this wasn't fair, I had manage to quit and this is what they do. It feels like someone had punched me in my tummy, I had trouble breathing. There were some letters at the razor blade, it clearly said 'dead' and that's when I knew, what I really had to do. I felt a kind of relief, they let me do it myself, but at the same time it was cowardly. But maybe that's what I had been for this club lately, a coward.
After relief came regret, I had a best friend, someone I loved deeply, someone struggling more than me. If I died, she would followed me. I pick up my phone to talk to her one last time. “I love you so much, sweetheart. You are, and will always be my better half. I am so sorry I didn't explain to you what were really going on, but promise me you'll be a strong girl as you've always been! I know you can, you are the best person in this entire world!” The text was now sent. I didn't want to leave her in this cruel unfair world alone. I already felt guilt about this, but I had no choice, the choice were made, three years ago and I could not take it back now.
I finally pick up the razor blade, I pull up my sleeves glancing over my old scars. Reminding myself were I was back then, and were I was now. I enjoyed the last victory of my change. I dragged the blade along with my artery, I saw the blood pumping and before I even knew I had repeated the action on my other arm. I quickly pulled my sleeves down, put some pressure on the wound as I would like to see the sky for the last time. As I stood up and headed for the stairs I could already notice my dizziness, I could feel the blood running down my hands leaving a track of where I've been.
I reached the top of the stairs, headed outside for the porch. I could feel the fresh air hitting my face, and outside on the porch I saw the rest of the club. Not the president nor the VP, but the crew I loved. I glance over the beautiful gang, not noticing their worried expression. I try to take some steps towards them, but my legs are all shaky and I had now lost control of my body. I can feel myself falling, I am prepared to hit the ground, but I didn't. I could feel some arms catching me, holding me, and it all went dark.
What a lovely life, isn't it beautiful?