It was beautiful at night, the stars shining brightly leaving you mesmerized. The dark was comforting and sometimes I liked being alone with my thoughts, where I could think about everything and admire the beautiful night view that the hospital’s roof had to offer.
I knew I wasn’t supposed to be up here and I could get a lot of trouble if I got caught, or I could die if a fell, but it’s not like I am not dying now, so I have nothing to lose really. It was around one in the morning when I went to go explore it took me a while to find this place but it was easy in the end. It always is.
“What are you doing up here? No one is allowed to be outside hospital premises at night.” I turned my head slightly, catching a glimpse of a blonde boy with a hardened glare. His eyes were narrowed and he was obviously waiting for a response. One I so clearly didn’t have.
“Well, I am a hard earned criminal, yeah I rip library books and stuff.” I said with a smile playing on my lips trying to lighten the mood with a laugh. He kept staring at me with the same hardened look, his face wasn’t hinting at a smile and I could merrily guess he was unamused. “Tough crowd huh?”
He looked at his bare arm and frowned. “Well, I could ask you the same question couldn’t? I mean, you’re up here defying the rules and everything too so…” He looked at me his expression hadn’t changed. Wow the many facial expressions of an inimical teenage boy. Such a beautiful thing.
“My name’s Luke. I stay in room 408.” He says, pausing to look at my face, my breath hitched in my throat. This was the boy, the boy everyone was so scared of. Yet here I was sitting on a roof feet away from him. By now he had made his way over to me, I steadied myself and stood up. He paused, feet away from me, then he leaned in, my heart was beating loudly, I was paralyzed.
“Do I scare you?” He whispered in my ear, causing shivers to run down my spine. I looked up into his big blue eyes, they weren’t scary, and not nearly as intimidating as I thought they would be. Luke wasn’t anything scary, I mean if he was like buff and had tattoos maybe I would be scared but this was a lanky teenage boy with an interesting hair style, that’s it.
“No.” My voice was steady, the fear that had once coated all my features was soon replaced with familiarity. “Good.” He took a step back, looking at me, long and hard as if he was trying to memorize my face. “Well it’s been a lovely chat, but I have fish to feed, nurses to annoy, eh you know the norm.” I shrugged trying to find an escape.
“How is any of that normal?” he asked for the first time losing his serious facial expression it transforming into something else, something beautiful. He had smiled. This was the first genuine smile I had seen in the past five months, an expression that for once wasn’t filled with pity. It was natural, not forced. I smiled back with the same intensity.
I tucked a loose strand of my multi-colored red hair behind my ear and quickly walked my way to the exit. Just before I was about to disappear he called, “You never told me your name!” I gave him a quick witted smile, and shrugged my shoulders.
“You never asked.”
“Hey darling, did you sleep well last night?” Jacki asked drawing the curtains to let in some sunlight. I shielded my hand over the patch light of light shining in my face. “It was fine.” I was sticking to the basics, I wasn’t stupid enough to start tell her that I had spent my night on a roof – where we aren’t supposed to be – with Luke – who was apparently too dangerous to even look at.
“I’ll be right back with your breakfast.” Jacki said pulling a wide smile, she was in a chirpy mood, she’s always in a chirpy mood but for some reason today felt different. I rested my head on my pillow, I felt exhausted, and climbing onto a roof really takes a lot out of you.
Right before I was close to actually falling asleep, I heard Jacki’s booming voice causing me to jump up. “Sorry, Didn’t mean to wake you, your breakfast is here sweet pea.” I nodded, pursing my lips slightly, crossing my slim arms over my chest as I starred at my breakfast half asleep.
“Thank you.” I said making sure not to look into her eyes as she placed my tray of bland oatmeal and discolored orange juice in front of me. I sat up taking a reassuring bite of my oatmeal, once Jacki was satisfied she left leaving me once again alone.
Now would be the perfect time to get up and explore the hospital, but first I would have to change. I can’t run around a lot today, I am running of little energy.
I pull on my jacket and change into some skinny jeans, wearing my clothes instead of the clothes provided for me was always better, in a way I felt normal, you know? Like none of this was happening, I was just a girl sent away to live at a boarding school because her parents didn’t want her. Immediately I see my life stretched out before me, going to boarding school, falling in love with the boy across the hall, getting older, getting married, never worrying, and always happy. Of course life was never going to end up like that, and I had to accept it.
This place isn’t a boarding school, it’s a hospital, and one that rich people send their kids to when there dying and don’t want them around the house anymore.
My fingers tingled with a numbing sensation, I sighed softly shoving my hands into my pocket’s as if it would magical make the hurt go away. Today was a good day, Jacki was okay, and I wasn’t in much pain. Sure it hurt to breathe sometimes but, it was okay. Unlike other days.
I pulled my hand out of my pocket and wrapped my long hand around the door handle, I yanked it open and shut it tightly behind me. It felt like I was leaving that world and coming to a new world. A world where I could do anything I wanted. I could be anything, anybody, I could have everything. A selfish world built for the human eye.
Maybe that was the feeling you get when you break the rules.
I wasn’t wearing any shoes, I had lost interest in those a long time ago, so I merrily just walked down the hospital hallway with my feet gently slapping against the cold marble floor. After watching the numbers transform, I had stopped at the room I wanted.
I was at Room 408. This couldn’t have been intentional right, I didn’t want to talk to Luke. I didn’t so why was I here. Luke made me uneasy, and his piercing façade was really strong, one that wouldn’t let you look past anything. All you seen was a mean disrespectful teenage boy, even though, there was so much more to him underneath.
I looked at the door handle, it began twisting and turning as if someone was about to open it, this was definitely my cue to leave. I just stayed there, looking frozen at the door. It swung open reavling, Luke. His haired looked the same, but he had changed to a tattered green day shirt, and some matching black skinny jeans. His feet were covered by black converse.