2. Cotton Candy
You smile with me, it lights up your face. Your laugh is twinkly, fluffy, light.
You cry with me when I am sad. You share my pain and comfort me.
You talk with me when I most need to hear your voice. Your jokes are uplifting, the humour warm.
You touch me.
The electrical impulses zapping a gazillion nerves
All at once.
This is an overload.
My senses can’t deal with the overload
So I crash. Shutdown.
You reboot me.
I don’t want to be rebooted, because it only means that
You can touch me again.
And you can’t keep rebooting me.
But you do.
You smile with me some more, which makes me frown.
You laugh with me more often; I can’t even bring myself to look at you.
Your crying does not appease me; it makes me angry, want to hit you.
Your comfort is unwanted, but I cannot push you away. I hold you tightly.
Your talk becomes gibberish; I cannot discern clear words from the sounds you make.
Your jokes become morbid, solemn. I cannot find the humour in them any longer.
You will never be mine.
I will break my heart myself to spare you the trouble.