1. Happy Birthday to me
Joy, it's my birthday. Meaning another day that feels just how the .rest of my days go: terribly. Terrible is my life in a nutshell, my parents died in a car crash when I was a baby. My only living relatives I went to, only to find that they were even worse than dying alongside my mother and Father.
Dudley, my cousin who I'm not entirely sure is human, is morbidly obese, I'm afraid he's going to pop like one of those dreadful pimples he gets. They just blow up with pus, it's a hilarious event watching mrs. Dursley attempt at popping it with some weird treatment her beautition suggested.
Today, I expected would be my usual, boring, pimple-less, day.
Mrs. Dursley is not a looker, or a thinker for that matter. She has no significant characteristics, minor things that no-one would notice.