ur ugly Maddy
Calum doesn't care about u
ur a slut
just kill urself now nobody would care
its ur fault ur parents r dead and ur brother
the voices in my head were swirling around causing me to want to vomit but instead i reached into the cupboard and grabbed the sharp razor slicing it against my soft skin one after another after another. when i was finished i stripped my clothes and turned on the shower letting the hot water soak my hair as i watch the blood circle in the drain. i hopped out and dried my body slipping into my bed shorts and nirvana shirt i didn't bother eating as usual but i found my bottle of vodka and took a gigantic sip soon feeling the affect the alcohol had on me making me take sip after sip after sip forgetting anything and everything i have to fear or even consider. soon i fell asleep letting go of everything sometimes i just dont want to be here i wish i could die
i stunk of the lingering alcohol as i traced my arm up on the cuts i had inflicted upon myself the night before. i reached for my phone and checked the time 9:20 school started 20 minutes ago and i really couldn't give a shit if i went but my aunty had another idea how i would spend my day
"get ur ass down stairs now Maddy"
"nooooooooooo how about u get upstairs"
"excuse me young lady go get dressed and i'm driving u too school"
i couldn't be bothered fighting her this morning so i got up threw on a black skater skirt and my ouija shirt with my high top converse before applying my mascara and eyeliner i didn't bother with foundation because there was no point my skin was clear and it would be a waste. i put numerous bracelets to cover the scars and walked down stairs and walked to the car. there was no conversation made on the drive just her pointlessly telling me to stop locking my door and stop smoking but nothing that i haven't heard before. once we arrived i slipped out of the car and my aunt passed me some money for lunch that i knew i definitely needed however i felt as if i didn't at the same time everyone used to tease my weight and i had starved myself numerous times but i haven't eaten in days and i'm really hungry. i walked to the front doors and straight to the front desk. i signed in and walked into my class
"nice of u too join us Maddy" Mr Weidman my math teacher said as i searched for a seat before finding one close to the window however Calum was also beside me
"hello Calum" i said bluntly before looking up to the teacher and sketching in my book
"whats wrong Maddy"
"nothing just trying to learn"