Hello everybody i am Chantel, 15 years old who got judged very early. By my friends, family, my familys friends. Sitting in my bed for hours, thinking that i am really not worthy it, my life sucks since forever. Nobody knows how i feel, i wear a mask, who pretend that no problems have in my life. But truly i havent told the truth. Now i finally want to speak out.. Listen
"My daughter want to be a nurse, she have already plane a future life" This one who speaks is my mom friend, Susan. I really don't like her, the way she talks. Always talking about her daughter, how perfect she is like doesn't she have nothing else to talk about? Barely not!
"Very good Susan. How old are you daughter?" Did my mom ask, like are she interested in her daughter? but not her own... Wow lovely family i have, right?. Sitting with all her friends, in a table, and i am very quiet!. nothing interested to talk about, i dont even want to enjoy their company. "She is 10" Are you serious Susan? your daughter is 10 and already plan a future? i am 100& sure that she going to marry one of her dolls.
"10? wow..tha..thats amazing! dont you think Chantel?" Rest of group friends looking at me, waiting for the anwser, even my mom!
"Yes it's very incredible!" I answered back with a smile, that i never though i will bring up. "Thank you sweetheart, what do you want to be when you grow up?" The question i have been waiting for "I know i am not going to be a nurse, but i am want to be different. I want to be FBI, or a lawyer" I anwsered back, the all looked at me with that weird face, "Are you serious? I hope it is a joke..every girl wants to be a nurse". She said, "But i dont want to...!" i stand up, and pushed to the chair, and was very angry.. i run up to the stairs, but definitely my mom doesn't run after me to tjek i am okay, i choose to hear their rest of conversation
"I think you daughter should, choice to be a nurse?" "yeah i am agree that, she can be safe in the future" "But let her choice what she wants" "Talk about her, how great it would be to a nurse Jennath" "She will 100% regret it!, you only have one future to hold on".
i walked up my room, like always sitting in the bed, with my diary. I have buyed a new one, the other is full, lets write.
My life is not what i thought, it would be. Sitting between my mom friends, who juged about others kids future..Like come on. Is my choice what i wanted to be, when i get kids, i will never let them play with there kids.. i am just telling them that the are murderers!..then the will keep away from it.
A mom who don't support, me. Tears falling from my eyes, down to my diary. keep repeating that i am not good enough, i am very emotional, special about words that really hurts me, when can my life be over.! Since i can fight against this shit!.. i will always keep writing in my diary about how life sucks when you are tennager!