27. Confession #21
My heart is still broken.
It's hard for me even to believe that. Yet it's true. I was hurt so much by someone I cared about a lot, that person used me to get to a girl, he never meant what he said, all the love notes were fake and lies, all the cheesy statements were lies...that person played with my feelings, he made me feel special then in the end he made me feel useless,worthless,not special, a no good for nothing, but most of all he made me feel a pain that will never go away...not for as hard as I try to forget him, get over him....the bad memories come back reminding me what he did. How he hurt me and why he did it.
Throughout that period of time I tried forgetting him making someone else have a special place in my heart,sow my heart back....yet even if I am over him, the memories come back, tourturing me. I don't feel nothing for that person I am dead to him as he is dead to me. But even if he is dead to me, the memories still live in my mind and in my heart....
That hat message went out for a kid named Axel. He was my boyfriend, just for fun, in May of 2014 he told me The Hurtful Truth. Since that day....I have....that was the reason for my self harming, him making me feel all that pain, made me self harm...I regret doing that now....but since then...I have been hurt emotionally and mentally.