18. I know
I rub my eyes. I know I should be mad. I know I should feel heartbroken. I'm not though. I feel numb. Its like I'm completely shut off. Even alcohol doesn't make me have this kind of feeling. Its... Nice. I don't understand how it happened. I was sitting down and then I accidentally hit my head It hurt for a little then it was gone. I just sat here.. doing nothing.. I stand for what feels like the first time in ages. My legs start to shake as I stand but I know I have to get up. I know now she didn't come to me. I know now I'm not the one.. I'm not the one she really wanted.
"Ariel?" I stare at her. "Ashton.." She opens her eyes. I loook down. "What Ariel?" I hear her coming closer to me. "Stop... Please." She doesn't though. Her footsteps inching closer and closer to me. "Ashton. This is important. Please.. Let me do this.." I sigh and look up. Ariel is inches awa and all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and be in love. "Okay Ariel... I trust you.." The next thing I know Ariel is straddling my lap and staring into my eyes. "I need to know..." She whispers and then leans in.
"I feel like shit Calum... I really do.. But they needed to know.. What do I do.. They're going to hate me... She's gone now.. What do I do.." I turn over to Calum. "They'll forgive you if they're mad Luke.. They'll know you just wanted whats best for them. They'll know." I sigh standing up. "I'm going to check on Michael." I walk iut the door to go into Ariels room where I know he would be probably getting drunk or smashing things. To my suprise though he's not.. He's sitting on the bed with his guitar playing it.. Singing. "Michael.." He looks over at me. "Oh. Hi." I can tell he's had some drinks but not near as many as he usually would. I walk over to him as he writes down some lyrics. "What are you doing mate?" He looks back over to me. "I'm writing songs. For a solo career. Just me.. Thats all. Thats all I need I see this now. Thats all I need." I stare at him. "Michael... What... No... You're drunk.." He shakes his head. "No Luke. I'm done. I'm not touring with you guys for a while. I'm just going on my own for a little. We can still talk Luke. And Calum. I guess." I shake my head. "No... Michael.. I." He takes another big swig of his beer. I grab his hand and pull him up into a hug. "Michael.. You're one of my best mates I love you.. And I'll stand behind you with anything you do.. But.. Please.. please don't leave us.. Don't leave the band.." He slowly starts to respong finally wrapping his arms around me. "I.. I have to do this." I can tell he's had more to drink than I thought now. I pull away from him and sit down on the bed. He takes a seat beside me. "I'm sorry Lukey.." I nod. "Yeah. I'm sorry too."
I pull away from Ashton. "I love you Ashton.. It's not a lie. I love you. But.." He finishes the sentence. "But... You love Michael." I nod. "I really do Ashton.. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I just.." He looks down. "I know Ariel... I knew what I was getting into... I.. I guess I'm happy you broke my heart.. Rather then some other chick.. I fall too quickly thats my problem.." I kiss him one more time. "Its okay Ashton..." He keeps his eyes closed for a while. "I love you Ariel.. I will never stop fighting for you." He looks back down and then sighs. "Go to him.."