'It's a promise she can't keep, her promise to protect me, and part of me already knows it.' (There Will Be Lies - By Nick Lake)
She's already says that she would protect me. That she would always love me, no matter what I do. That I would always be her little girl, no matter what age I would grow up to be.
But that was before everything changed.
It was last month. I can remember it all. It happened on one of those dull, winter days, when the days are shorter, and the nights longer. It was 8:30 pm when Lydia Mason's party finished. It was 8:34 pm when mum arrived to pick me up. It was 8:39 pm when it came.
Then it happened.
We were in the middle of crossing a road, and at that second, a car-the colour of night-flew around the corner. The driver of the car was allegedly under the influence of alcohol. The car would have hit me. In fact, it should have, but it didn't. The car hit mum. I was the nearest to the car so it would have hit me first had she not pushed me out the way, just in time, with all the strength she could possibly muster. I fell a few metres away. But i fell in safety, still breathing.
Everything that happened after that became such a blur to me. I didn't pass out or anything like that. The world just sort of...stopped. Frozen in time. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't say, scream or shout anything. I just watched. I stayed where I fell, silently watching, silently breathing.
I was still watching as an ambulance drove into view.
Mum never woke up after that. She';s still in a deep coma. So, here I sit, right beside her, watching her in the unconscious state which I put her in. I look at all the different tubes sticking in and out of her weak, fragile body. Mum has a slim body, it's a surprise that car hadn't snapped her in half then and there.
I'm still sitting here with nothing but sheer guilt resting in the pit of my stomach. It is my fault. It should have been me, not her.