Lights blinded me as I walked out into the airport foyer as the paps started going crazy, but they didn’t even phase me. I had chosen to go out of the airport the normal way, with no security. Paul wasn’t even with me. Lately I’ve been so sick of being followed around by security and managers that I didn’t really care anymore. So really, it was my own fault that girls were screaming and cameras were flashing. But my mind was focused on one thing, finding Raegan in the midst of all the people. I missed her like hell and the last few days have been rough. All of us guys were getting cranky considering we hadn’t seen our girlfriends in over a month. I especially was going insane after Paul told me what Jake had done to her when she got back from America. That bastard put a gun to her head, and I wanted to kill him for it. It’s hard being away from the person you love more than anything when she’s in danger. All I wanted was to just hold her in my arms, sing her to sleep and play with her hair. I missed the goofy faces we always make at each other when we brush our teeth, and the way she smiles at me when I do something stupid. I needed to actually see her, feel her, and look at her in order for all my anxiety about her safety to go away. So yeah, nothing will phase me until my eyes find her in this crowded airport.
I continued to tug my suitcase behind me pushing and bumping through people. Suddenly I heard her voice, calling my name through the crowd, and before I knew it she was in my arms. I wrapped my arms around her as her body collided with mine. The screaming and the sounds of the cameras went silent as I held her close. I could smell her lilac perfume, and her hair felt as soft as usual as it tickled the back of my hands. We just stood there for a moment embracing each other’s warmth. After a minute I pulled back a little bit to kiss her on the lips. I felt so good to be kissing her, and if the airport were empty I wouldn’t move an inch and just kiss her all day. I put everything into the kiss that I could, pulling her as close to me as possible. I didn’t want to take my hands of her, but I could tell something was off with her.
“I missed you.” She said to me with a small smile. I ran my hands through her hair. I could see the trails of a tear or two on her cheek.
“I missed you too. Please don’t cry love.” I said to her as I rubbed the wet spots off her cheeks. As I said that she only started crying harder, and I pulled her back into my chest as she sobbed. She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face into my shirt. Just the sight of her like this was breaking my heart, and it dawned on me how much the whole Jake situation was taking a toll. She and I just stood there as she cried, I didn’t want to rush her out of here, despite the chaos going on around us.
“EVERYONE WHO IS NOT BOARDING/OR COMING OFF A FLIGHT NEEDS TO CLEAR OUT OF THE FOYER IMMEDIATELY BEFORE I CALL SECURITY.” A voice started yelling across the area. “THAT INCLUDES PAPARAZZI.” I looked around and saw a security person telling people to leave and stop taking pictures. It was a relief. The man gave me wave and I waved back with one hand while I held Raegan’s head into my chest with the other. She was still sobbing. I figured she had probably been holding it all in since she saw me last, so I just let her cry, glad that the paparazzi wouldn’t be able to get a picture now.
“Rae baby?” I said quietly into her ear, after just standing there for a while.
“Yes?” She replied. Her voice was all muffled because she buried herself in my shirt and her shoulders were still shaking.
“Are you alright?” I asked her, kissing the top of her head.
“I don’t think so.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Just hold me until it stops.”
"Until what stops?"
“The crying.” She started sobbing again and I just squeezed her tight. The sound of her crying tore me apart. Never did I think I would end up standing in the Dublin Airport foyer holding my broken girlfriend for over twenty minutes until she could stop crying. But eventually her crying started to slow down.
“Rae baby?” I whispered to in her ear.
“Are you ready now?”
“I think so.” She said to me with a small smile as she finally looked up at me.
“Okay.” I wiped her cheeks with my thumbs and kissed her forehead.
“I’m so embarrassed.” She said quietly, looking right into my eyes. “I didn’t mean to lose it.”
“It’s okay love. Let’s just get out of here.”
Neely appeared out of nowhere and we started following him out, hand in hand. As we left the foyer of the airport we were greeted by more paps. Neely just shooed them away as I gave Rae’s hand a squeeze. As I looked down at her she looked like she was on the brink of tears again. It pained me just to see her like that. I wasn’t quite sure what was making her feel so bad, but I was determined to figure it out and make her feel better.
As we made it the car I heaved a sigh of relief. I couldn’t be more pleased about going home to an actual house rather than a hotel. As soon as the car door shut behind me I looked over at Raegan. She was just sitting there with her hands clenched into fists, eyes closed, crying again.
“Rae baby. What is it?” I asked her as I pulled her onto my lap. Forget the seatbelt, I was going to hold her the whole way back because it was pretty obvious to me that’s what she needed. She didn’t answer my question and just continued to cry. I looked up at Neely in the driver’s seat, confused as all hell. What is wrong with my girl?
Neely just gave me a confused look and started backing out of the space. I looked down at Raegan in my arms. She was stunning. Even with her puffy eyes heaving chest she looked beautiful. I started rubbing circles on her lower back as she buried her head in my chest, trying to sooth her anyway that I could. I knew the car ride would help, and I figured she might even fall asleep.
As we continued to drive, I sang her “Little Things” to help calm her down, and slowly but surely she fell asleep and her crying stopped. As I help my girl in my arms I started to contemplate why she was couldn’t stop crying, and I had a feeling that she was just overwhelmed by everything. Sometimes you just have to cry it out I guess. While I’m away on tour, she tries to tell me that everything is fine and she isn’t stressed. But I know that’s far from the truth. She is bleedin’ deadly with all her school work, and the internship at the café. She works hard, and that’s something I love about her, I just hate it when it gets to be too much and obviously it had gotten to be too much. Once I knew she was asleep for sure, I jumped at the opportunity to talk to Neely for the last few minutes of the ride.
“How bad is it?” I asked him.
“Bad. It’s been like this for a week now.” His words made my heart sink and I couldn’t help but run my hands through my hair out of frustration.
“Is it the Jake situation?” I asked, wanting to get to the bottom of things.
“Yeah, he doesn’t stop harassing her. But it’s also school. And fans have been pretty bad on twitter. I think she just feels cooped up and overwhelmed.”
“Seeing you probably just overwhelmed her mate. Don’t take it personally.” He said to me, giving me a small smile in the rearview mirror.
“I hate this being away sometimes. It kills me knowing she’s in pain or scared and I’m not here to make it better.” Bitterness was littered through my tone.
“Niall, even from far away you make it better for her. Everyday. You make her happy.” I smiled a little. It was nice to hear that coming from the guy who is with Raegan practically 24/7. “I think she just struggles with the distance. You’re her person, and it’s hard being away from your person you know?”
“Do you have someone?” I asked him, out of curiosity.
“I did. But it didn’t work out.”
“Well, the job kind of gets in the way, and she didn’t like that. She wasn’t as good as Raegan about being away.”
“Oh, I see.” I didn’t exactly know what to say. I almost felt guilty. Watching over my girlfriend has taken over his life. He is with her all the time and probably never gets time for himself.
“She’s going to love the surprise you know.” “You think so? I’m so nervous that it will scare her off or something.”
“I don’t think so. I think she’ll like it. I think it will help.”
“Good. You would know better than anyone else.” I said with a chuckle.
“Speaking of surprises, sending Perrie and Eleanor over was genius. She needed that.”
“I wish I coulda seen her face.”
“It was pretty funny.”
“She won’t let me see the dress. All the lads have seen it, but they won’t show me the pictures.”
“Well I went with her, and I can tell you it’s nice. Obviously I don’t know anything about that girly stuff, but it was nice.” I smiled at his words, looking down at Reagan resting her head on my shoulder. It still amazes me that she’s mine to begin with.
“She considers you her best friend you know.” I told him. He chuckled.
“I would say the same about her.” He said. I could tell he was smiling from the driver’s seat.
“Remember when she hated your guts?” I said, chuckling a bit as I thought about that day in the airport. He laughed too, probably remembering the same thing I was.
“I don’t think I could forget it. I dreaded living with her that first day. But she turned out alright.” He said laughing a bit.
“Have Morgan and Sarah been around?”
“Not as much as they used to. I think that’s also making her feel like shit. With her being further from the city they don’t come here very often. And I think her rising celebrity status is getting to be a wee bit much. I think she feels abandoned.” He turned and looked at me for a second, and I quirked an eyebrow at him. Rising celebrity status? “The paps have been brutal.” He started explaining to me. “Every time we go into the city for her internship or class we get swamped by girls and paps. It’s not hard for them to spot her with her being a coppertop n’all.” This made me laugh, but I also felt bad. My lifestyle and the stress from our relationship was wearing her down.
“Sometimes I think she would be better off without me, you know? No paps everywhere, no gossip, no twitter hate.”
“I don’t agree. I think those are just minor details. You guys have a good thing going. She loves you. You love her.”
“She just had a breakdown in my arms. I wouldn’t consider that a ‘good thing.’”
“She just had a breakdown because she’s exhausted. It’s not you.” He said, trying to console me. It was no use though, seeing your girl in that state makes a guy feel pretty shitty.
“I just wish I could make it all better you know?”
“Mate, there is only so much you can do.” Neely said with a sigh as started pulling into the driveway of his place. It was a nice house, small but comfortable looking. It was pretty close to the city, but just far away enough where you could have peace and quiet. It reminded me of the place Rae and I stayed at in Doolin.
“I’ll bring your stuff in.” Neely said to me before shutting the car door behind him. I appreciated the moment alone with Raegan. Sometimes bodyguards never go away, but Neely does a decent job of giving Rae and I alone time. I looked down at her sleeping. She looked so at ease that I didn’t really want to wake her. I started running my hand through her hair, and whispered her name.
“Are we home?” She said groggily, a small smile on face. Her eyes were still swollen.
“Yep. You ready to go in? I was thinking we could just take a nap and then maybe do something?” It was only ten in the morning, but I was beat. Jet lag always hits me hard.
“That sounds lovely.” A small yawn interrupted the end of her sentence making her laugh a little. My heart swelled at the sound of giggle.
“Alright.” She moved to open the door but I stopped her by kissing her hard on the mouth. She returned the kiss. I opened the car with my free hand and scooched my way out, carrying her bridal style in my arms all the way to the bedroom. After laying her down on the bed I climbed under the covers with her.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” I asked her. Raegan’s a talker. Talking about her feelings makes her feel better. So even though I was exhausted, I would talk to her as long as she needed. She took a moment to collect her thoughts, her eyebrows furrowed as she did so. It was actually quite cute.
“I didn’t mean to start crying all over you.” She started, chuckling at the end of her sentence. “It’s just that I’ve missed you so much that when I actually saw you, all the feelings of missing you kind of...overflowed."
“Rae, you can cry all night if you want to. You have every right to cry. I feel terrible about not being here with you through all of this. It’s my fault.”
She gave me a small smile. “It’s not your fault.”
“Yes it is. It’s my fault that you get so much hate from people you don’t even know. It’s my fault that paps follow you everywhere. It’s my fault that Jake won’t leave you alone.”
“Niall James Horan.” She started, a bigger smile taking over her expression. “I chose to be with you. I chose to endure all that. It’s no one’s fault but those who follow me around and send me hateful things. Not yours. And the Jake situation is in no way your fault at all. He’s a psychopath and would torture me whether I was with you or not. So please don’t feel guilty about all that.” She kissed me on the lips, caressing my face.
“I just feel bad that I’m not here. You wake up to an empty bed every morning with no one there. You deserve better than that.” I explained to her.
“But I don’t want that with anyone else but you.”
I just stared at her for a few minutes before answering, overwhelmed by thoughts of wondering how I had gotten so lucky. I didn’t know what to say other than the obvious thought.
“I love you.” I told her.
“I love you more.” She said with a small giggle before kissing me again. “Can we nap now? We can talk more later.”
“’Course.” She laid her head on my chest, wrapping her arm around me body. I started running my hand through her hair as her eyes started drooping, and before I knew it, I fell asleep right along with her.
“So how are the lads?” Rae asked, looking up at me from her mac‘n’cheese that she made for dinner. After taking our nap, we just watched some movies and ate junk food in bed all day. It may sound boring, but it felt really good to just lay in bed with her all day. It was also difficult to keep my hands off of her. I swear every time I come back from tour she looks more beautiful and sexy than before.
“They’re good. Zayn is going to propose to Perrie. He told us all a few days ago.”
“WHAT?!” She said her mouth hanging wide open as she held her next bite of food mid-air.
“Yep. But he hasn't done it yet so don’t go screaming to the sky just yet.” I said to her with a chuckle.
“Oh my god. I can’t believe it. That’s so freaking awesome.” She said. “I wonder when the wedding is gonna be.”
“I couldn’t tell you.” The lads and I weren’t surprised when Zayn told us he was planning on proposing. Him and Perrie have been serious for a while, and they’re right for each other.
“Well, all I know is that I can’t wait for it…how is Liam and his new girlfriend? Sophia right?”
“Good. We don’t really know her that well yet. But she seems nice so far.”
"What about Lou?"
“He’s good.” It humors me how much she cares about the guys, and it’s nice too. We really are one big family after all, even when we’re oceans apart.
“He’s good too. I swear, sometimes he misses you as much as I do.”
“Good.” She said with a satisfied smile. We talked through the rest of dinner, and it was nice to have a homemade meal for once. After the mac’n’cheese, Neely brought out some ice cream for afters. Once dinner was over Raegan and I went in the kitchen to start cleaning up, which means that Raegan just sat on the island counter and watched me load things into the dishwasher.
“So…” Neely started to say as he walked back into the room. “I’m heading out for the night.”
Raegan and I just looked at each other. Her expression looked just as confused as I felt.
“Where are you going?” She asked him.
“Look…” He started, chuckling a little bit, “…you two haven’t seen each other in over a month and I know you probably want some time alone.” I looked over at Raegan, her face was turning bright red and bashful smile graced her lips, making me laugh out loud a bit. It was charming to say the least. “So I’m heading out for the night.”
“But what about--?” I started, wondering about the risk of him leaving.
“Don’t worry about Jake.” He interrupted. “I already worked it out with Paul he thinks it should be fine. We don’t think he knows where she’s staying.”
“Okay. Well thanks mate.” I said as I closed the dishwasher.
“Neely you don’t have to leave your own house you know.” Raegan said, her cheeks still glowing.
“Uh, yes I do. I’ll see you both tomorrow.” He said chuckling as he made his way out the door. I looked over at Rae. She was smiling to herself. I walked over to her where she was still sitting on the counter, swinging her legs. I started kissing her neck, right in her sweet spot.
“Well, you heard him didn’t you?” I asked her, leaving kisses in between each word, making her squirm as she tried to play it cool. Kissing her neck always gets her going.
“I did.” She said to me. I could feel her smiling as I continued to suck on her neck “I just like to tease you.” My heart starting racing and I wanted nothing more than a perfect night of being with Raegan, if you know what I mean. She closed her eyes and I could tell she was trying hard to resist, so I kept on kissing her. She started to moan a little bit, biting her lip. I made a trail up to her lips where I stopped for a moment.
“I love you.” I said to her before kissing her hard on the mouth. Things quickly grew heated as we were making out. I would definitely have to thank Neely for giving us the house to ourselves. Good guy. Before I knew it, Raegans hands found the hem of my shirt and she pulled it up over my head, and I did the same. Not only had I missed Raegans bright and shiny personality, I had missed her body. Living with a bunch of guys really makes you crave a woman’s touch, let me tell you. It was no joke that Raegan has a beautiful figure and I missed being able to run my hands all over her.
She started undoing my belt and I dropped my pants to the tile floor as she slipped her own pants off. She was wearing a red lace bra with matching underwear, and she looked stunning. I returned my lips to hers and things really started to get even more heated than before. I unhooked her bra as she nibbled on my ear, turning me on like a mad man. As I started caressing her body with my hands it occurred to me that we probably wouldn’t even make it to the bedroom.
And we didn’t.
30k reads!! You guys are absolutely incredible!!
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And also exciting news the next chapter is The last of this book, but there will be a sequel!
And I'm going to the One Direction concert in Denmark the day after tomorrow and I'm soooooooooo excited!!