There is one thing people should never do,get to know a broken person. You want to know why, because once you know them you look at the world differently. You see the world through there eyes, no longer the vision of a happy world where there is a fair input to every output in a situation. But the most of all you see that telling someone to just be happy no longer works, you tell them it will get better when after a while you yourself don't even believe it.
So as I sit up in my bed again for the second night in a row with no sleep, my muscles exhausted and joints creek like hold door hinges rusting from lack of use. I sit up and feel my hair fall into my eyes, I strain my ears to hopefully not hear my sister in the house. She didn't come home last night and I got piss drunk, two bottles of tequila later and I have one hell of a hangover. Clutching my head, sure I didn't get much sleep but I can feel the hangover. My let out a groan and look around my room. I opt out of school today, I don't want to move, my head is killing me and it is already 9 in the morning I am two hours late for school. Just starting second period I wonder what the other kids are thinking or if they even notice I am gone. They probably don't even care.
I flop back down onto my bed letting my vision spin, and a dizzy feeling overtaking me. I grab my pillow and hold it over my face I let out a groan and throw it off the bed. I grab my head again and try to think why did I think getting that drunk would be fun? Or even help the stress I was feeling. I throw my feet over the bed and check my phone to find no new messages, I call the school and excuse my absence saying how my "daughter" aka myself came down with a touch of the stomach flu and would be out of school for the day and give all of her assignments to Zack, then they asked which Zack. And I said never mind, it was one of her partners in Psychology and I never got his last name. I turn off my phone and then walk into my own kitchenette and grab a bottle of water and a bag or Doritos along with three cans of Monster energy. My favorite hangover cure, though it doesn't work immediately it does help a ton for the next day. I turn on my Xbox and begin playing Batman: Arkham Knight turning the sound down to almost the lowest setting I play until I beat the game for the third time, and I finish off the bag or Doritos, two Monsters, and the water. I hear a knock at the door, I turn off the game feeling hungry again, I finished the bag at least 5 hours ago judging by the amount of light coming into my room. I open my door and walk down the steps to the front door. I open it to see Zack.
"I heard you caught the stomach flu and came to give you the school contracts though you look more like you are in a hangover." He looks at me and usher him into the house and begin to enter the technically main part of the house.
"Yeah I got a bit to drunk last night and now if feels like my head is going to explode." I mutter opening my sisters fridge and finding some cash on the counter next to it. I see a not pinned to it saying to order dinner and that she would be out for 2 weeks and the cash is only for food and clothes if needed.
"Why did you get drunk?"
"I was bored and I was stressed from you questioning me on the walk home yesterday. That's why,"
"Sorry I was pestering you. I didn't mean to stress you out that much to the point where getting drunk would make you feel better."
"Nah it's fine do you want anything to eat? My sister left me some cash for food and I am hungry." I say holding out my phone to dial any pizza place I can think of.
"Sure lets get pizza. I know this great place and it's dirt cheap for delivery." He takes out his phone and dials the number, and begins to order cheese, pepperoni, and meat lovers. With 2 liters of soda and bread sticks then tells me the total. $25 for the delivery. That really is pretty damn cheep.
He hands me the contracts and I begin just sign them and then forage my sisters signature and her emergency number as a contact. As soon as finish filling out the papers the pizza delivery car drives up and a 45 year old man knocks on the door. I hand him the cash and take and pizzas while Zack takes the drinks and bread sticks. We walk up to my room and turn on The Avengers, it's not like I want him to stick around but right now I just want food and a movie and he choose to stick around.
"How many times have you seen this movie Alex?" He questions as it begins and he takes a slice of greasy meat lovers pizza. I hold up both hands and flash the number 8 to him, 8 times I have re watched this movie making this the 9th time. Not that I am complaining, I love the movie sure it is not the best but I do love it. I reach over the take a slice of cheese and begin to eat it. The grease almost falling on my sweatshirt and leggings.
"Wow eight times, this is my third time seeing it." He keeps his eyes on the screen and just keeps talking about the characters and how amazing they are. I nod and make uh huh noises every now and again. And then the movie finishes and I finished off a whole pizza by myself he finished a fourth of one.
He helps me pack away the boxes into my fridge and the accessories to the pizza like the drinks and bread sticks. Then he leaves, and my hangover has almost passed by that point and I finish off the last Monster and begin to watch Carrie my favorite horror film. I finish the movie and look at the clock to my left, it's 11 pm. I sigh and lean back and begin to watch The Human Centipede, looks like a horror marathon tonight.
When I finish The Human Centipede it is 1:20 in the morning and for the first time in a while I feel truly exhausted. And I let my eyes shut for a few seconds. And I don't wake up until I hear a person shouting at me and shaking me.
"Alex get up! It is almost time for school! Alex come on!" I let my eyes open and I see Zack in my room jerking me awake.
I bolt up and my head spins wildly, and forces me to sit back down. I throw my hair into a messy bun, throw on some new makeup and a new sweatshirt and shoes. Zack just watches me run around my room at a rapid speed. And we end up sprinting to school and into class. We walk in right as the bell rings, and I thank him and sit next to him since my old spot was taken by some other girl. The day passes and I end up going to Psychology completely sober and remembering all of my classes. I sit down and my teacher gives up a partner project, Zack looks at me with the look. 'Now you have to get to know me for this.' The project is our life sayings, and how they make us who we are.
The class carries on with us getting books and looking into how our environment can affect who we are as a person. I just blink as Zack is trying to fish through the book to make it look like we are actually working on something other than sitting in silence.
"Look how about we both write or life sayings that help us through our days; and then we can discuss them at your house after school?" He takes out two papers and hands one to me.
"Who said you could come over?" Muttering as I take the paper uneasily as if it was a poison.
"Well I thought since we won't see each other tomorrow and this project we have a week for we could just get it over with. And we could finish the pizza and play some Halo if you want." He acts awkward, like he is acting like he has been in love with me for years and finally saying something. But he just doesn't wants me to open up and get to become friends with him, right? God I hope that is it and nothing more.
"Fine, you can come over."
"Okay then we walk to your house after school then." He smiles triumphantly, I sigh and begin to write my sayings on the paper.
1) People don't want to be around a broken person.
2) Emotions aren't needed to go through life, only a fake barrier from you and the world.
3) Remember what your parents did when you fucked up?
4) Never lie to yourself about what is wrong with yourself, always give the blunt truth nothing sugar coated.
5) If the problem can't be solved with drugs and alcohol, then lock it away forever.
6) Hating life, will be your downfall but you can't really help it now can you?
7) Love doesn't exist, people can't care about one another unless you are connected by blood even then that isn't a guarantee.
8) Life isn't fair
9) Drugs are the only friends you can rely on.
10) Music is the only truth in the world that can be told in a brief section of time without hurting people.
I finish my list just as the bell rings, apparently it took me an hour and a half just to do the list of 10 things. I didn't notice the time pass, I grab my things and shove them into my bag. Zach waiting for me to be ready to get out of the school, I walk out the desk aisle and out the door. Zach next to me walking in silence, this just feels normal at this point almost, him and me leaving school together to go to my house. I feel like I could learn to trust him but I don't want him to get to know the me underneath this stern unbreakable exterior. Because the last time someone did that... they left me in even worse shape than before.
"Wait, your breaking up with me?" My voice shook quavering my whole chest, little pangs moving through my body like tiny gunfire. I pull my arms closer to me to protect myself from his hands.
"Yeah I am you dumb bitch. Don't you get it? I kept cheating on you and cheating on you, I wanted you to break it off. But you never did. You pathetically held on to what ever relationship you thought we had. Then you just let me beat you and push you around. Look I don't know who you think you are but trust me I never liked you. I just wanted to see how far you would let me push you around, and that was pretty damn far!" He pushes me into the wall his hand around my throat, tears threatening to break through my tear ducts. I feel no air entering my throat, I try and gasp for air, my brain still fuzzy from the high, and his breath heating my face. Pathetically I claw at his arms, trying to break free.
He throws me on the ground, and walks away. I feel my vision go black and I faint.
What he said isn't true, he cheated on me yes, but I tried 5 times to break up with him. But he kept making sure I stayed with the offer of drugs and an easy fix for any need I wanted. He kept me tied down with the fact he would tell people about my drugs and sleeping around to get them. I didn't love him, well at least not when he broke up with me i didn't. But for a long time I did, and some of those feelings still remained.
We enter my house and walk upstairs, I throw my bag onto the bed and walk to the kitchen to grab some food. Zach and me had walked all the way here without any exchange of words, but for some reason it didn't bother me. In fact I rather enjoyed the walk.
I grabbed a slice of pizza and throw it in my microwave turn the timer to a minute and walk away until it beeps. The sharp repeating noise filling my head and crushing the silence, me and Zach had created. I grab the slice and move back into my little living room to find Zach looking over his list of life sayings.
"So the project?" I mutter sitting down and turning on some music down to a lower volume. He looks up at me, with a almost dazed expression that turns alert like he was half asleep but now suddenly awake and drunk off an idea.
"I was thinking how about we use this to get to know each other a bit more?" He looks at me a straight expression on his face he isn't joking. Then I look at the paper and realize, it's my paper not his. He read them without my consent! I walk over and snatch it out of his hand, I clutch it to my chest and back away.
"You don't want to get to know me. You had no right to read this! No right and on top of that why the hell are you so drunk on the idea of getting to know me! No one in their right mind would want to get to know a pot head, drunk, pill addict, and disowned kid! Just stop with trying to get to know me!" I am near about shouting when I collapse onto the floor in a pathetic heap, all of that was locked inside. That is why you should never get to know a broken soul... Shards of a soul only hurt others, and in turn the person who lets them lay about.