Love and Loss
“What are you talking about, Raz?” Tessa asked. Raziella looked back at her. “When my brother, Adam, died, I hid in my closet for days. My dad finally got Magnus to come lure me out. He stayed with me when my own father wouldn’t.” Raziella said sadly. She stood up suddenly. “I’m going to see him.” She opened the door and slipped out of the room. She was half way down the hall when Magnus walked up behind her. “Hey Raz.” She jumped, having not seen him approaching. “Hey Magnus, what are you doing?” She asked. “Do you remember me?” He asked bluntly. Raziella’s smiled diminished as she remembered that day. A horrified shiver was sent down her spine. “Yeah.” She responded, “It’s not the best memory.” She added. Magnus grinned. “Well I’m determined to make it better. I will make sure you only remember me for good things.” Magnus said. Raziella grinned wickedly. “And how do you intend to do that? Even though all of those years of taking care of me and then attempting to put a glamour on my memories is good enough.” She asked, wondering what kind of things Magnus did for fun. “Why don’t I take you and your friends for a tour of the city?” Raziella looked back at the closed wooden door a few feet down the hall. “I’m sure Tessa would love that, but you know she’s not a shadowhunter like Will and Jem, right?” Magnus looked curiously at the door. “Well if she’s not a mundane, what is she? And don’t tell me she’s Fey. I hate those winged nuisances.”
Raziella smiled again. “No, she’s a warlock like you. You should teach her, she’s still an amateur. She just found out actually.” Magnus’s hands lit with blue flames. “I’d be delighted to teach her all I know.” He said, his cat eyes gleaming. Raziella already regretted saying anything. “Alright, just don’t corrupt her, she’s bad enough as is.” Magnus smirked. “Now why would I ever do a thing like that?” He asked serious at first but then started to laugh. “Because you’re the farthest thing from normal in this institute.” Magnus put his hand over his heart, faking offense. “Now why would you say that, Raz?” She looked at him from head to toe, taking him all in. “You’re wearing leather pants, a trench coat, more makeup than a teenage girl, and you have more glitter in your hair, on your face, and on your clothes than a kindergarden classroom floor, oh, and you have a boyfriend, a shadowhunter nonetheless.” Magnus studied his black nails. “So quick to judge, angel’s daughter.” Raziella lunged forward, covering Magnus’s mouth with her hand. “Keep it down, I don’t want anyone here knowing about that, I try not to think about it anymore, I don’t need a constant reminder. I have a better life now.” Magnus gently removed her hand from his face. “I promise I won’t tell anyone, except Alec, he already thinks I’m keeping secrets.” Raziella sighed. “I still can’t believe you’re dating a shadowhunter. Especially after you 'vowed to never ever get involved with the shadowhunters again.' Since we're 'nothing but trouble and drama.'” Raziella laughed, quoting what he told her on her 8th birthday, a few days before he left her. “So maybe I was wrong. He’s amazing, sweet, and understands, unlike most of you cold unfeeling Nephilim.” Magnus said, as he started to walk back the way he came. “I thought you were taking us on a tour?” Raziella asked, trying to follow him. “Just ask Church and he’ll show you where I am. Remember, tonight is a special night.” Magnus reminded. Raziella looked stupidly at him. “What’s tonight?” Magnus frowned, peering around a corner. “Your eighteenth birthday of course.” Raziella’s eye’s brightened as she remembered. “Oh, yeah, but wait, how do you know when my birthday is?” Magnus’s devilish smile returned. “I’ve been sending you birthday cards ever since you moved to London. Magnus disappeared behind the corner. “Weird.” She mumbled as she walked into her room.
Tessa was standing in front of the dresser, neatly folding and stacking her clothes in the drawers. She turned around to greet Raziella. “Hey Raz, did you talk to him? Did he remember you?” She looked over, a strange look in her eye. “Umm, Yeah.” She said uncertainly “Hey? Do you want to go somewhere tonight?” Tessa looked sideways at Raziella. “Just us? You’re not taking Jem or Will?” Tessa asked, confused. “Um, yeah. Magnus volunteered to take us on a tour of New York but I just remembered that we have to do something before we go.” Raziella said though it came out sounding like a question. “Are you alright? You seem kind of shaken. What did Magnus say?” Tessa asked, concerned. Raziella shrugged, crossing her arms and turning her attention to her clothes. “Nothing, he did tell me that he was the one who saved me and took care of me when my father abandoned me. He’s also the creep that sends me birthday cards every year for my birthday ever since I moved to London.” Tessa’s eyes widened, remembering all those confusing birthdays. “That’s who that was? No wonder you want me to come, I wouldn’t want to be alone with him." She nodded searching her closet for training gear. “Well get ready, we have to try and find him again.” Raziella called through her clothes. “Alright, are you at least going to tell Jem about him?” Tessa asked. She hadn’t known whether she should tell Will about it. “No, and you can’t tell Will either.” Tessa looked shocked. Raziella told Jem everything. “Ok, but are you at least going to tell someone where we're going?” Tessa asked. Raziella shook her head, her blonde hair falling over her shoulders. “No one.” Now Tessa was really confused. “Why can’t I tell Will and why aren’t you telling Jem?” Tessa asked irritably. Raziella pulled a loose tank top out along with black yoga pants. “Because we have things to do before we go on a tour with Magnus.” Tessa frowned. “Then where are we going?” Raziella shook her head again. “You’re just going to have to trust me.” Tessa looked at her, defiantly. “I’m not going anywhere with you until you tell me where we’re going.” Tessa snapped. After so many years of just being told to trust her, she was tired of not knowing. “You’re my parabatai, ‘whither thou goest, I will go’” She repeated from the parabatai ritual they both took oath to. “The oath can’t just exist when it’s convenient for you.” Tessa said, having fallen for that multiple times before. Raziella looked like she wanted to lean over and slap her. She looked at her sternly, almost like her brother used to when he disciplined her. “Fine.” she said, breaking the silence, “You want to know where I’m going?” Tessa nodded. “I’m going to train to be an angel, like my father, I’ll be in the training room if you need me.” Raziella turned and walked down the hall.
Magnus, after a long argument with Alec, slipped into the hallway, peering after the elongated shadow slinking down down the staircase, ponytail bobbing behind them. He had convinced Alec to put a silence rune on his shoes, since he could not bear the angel’s mark on his skin. He mentally thanked Alec for agreeing as he soundlessly descended the stairs. The shadow was gone, but it helped that he knew where it was going. This was a huge risk for her. She knew what day it was and what was going to happen in less than three minutes. He snapped his fingers and he was in the rafters in the weapons room. He looked down as the doors opened with a squeak. A girl with a blonde ponytail and full black gear walked through the door. She went to the board of knives and picked up a seraph blade and named it Michael. The light blazed up so powerfully, Magnus was blinded and almost fell from the support beam he was kneeling on. She threw the knife hard at the target. It hit the bullseye and stuck. She turned around for another one when a raven haired boy walked in and grabbed a knife off the board. He stopped dead in his tracks. “What do you think you’re doing here?” The black haired boy asked. “I’m a shadowhunter, just like you and I have as much right to be here as you do.” The blonde haired girl said, pointing her knife at the boy. He grabbed a knife naming it and pointed it at her. “Why don’t you go stand in front of the target and let me use you for target practice?” He asked joyfully. “I knew you were trouble the minute you walked through the door. I know who you are, or rather what you are.” The boy added. Magnus was surprised. He had never heard him talk like that. Magnus snapped his fingers and reappeared in between them. He looked over at the boy.
“Alexander! How dare you talk to your guest that way?” Magnus exclaimed. Alec looked nervous. “Hey Mag, how long have you been there?” He asked. Magnus’s eyes bore into him. “Long enough to see you threaten Raziella with a knife, I mean I would expect this from Jace, but you... this is just immature. Are- are you jealous or something?” Alec turned away. Magnus, suddenly realizing his mistake, grabbed his boyfriend’s hands, pulling him closer. Raziella was across the room, not listening or even caring. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec. “I love you, just remember that next time you’re jealous. I only love you.” Magnus said softly. He released Alec and ruffled his soft black hair. Raziella suddenly collapsed, screaming in pain, clawing at the ground. She looked up at Magnus, though the world seemed to be spinning faster and tilting farther on its axis. Magnus grabbed Alec’s hands and looking into his eyes. “Alexander, I need you to leave. Raziella is in pain and she won’t want more people here than necessary. You understand, right?” Magnus explained quickly. Alec looked disappointed. “Of course. I’ll be at the apartment. I’ll see you later.” Alec said. “Thank you Alec, I’ll see you later.” Magnus said relieved. He released Alec’s hands and ran over to Raziella. But this was not okay. Or at least not for Alec. He walked away, jealousy burning in his cheeks, turning them bright red. He knew Magnus loved him, but that didn’t mean Alec completely trusted him. Magnus was hundreds of years old. It wasn’t Magnus’s fault, but he felt like he couldn’t trust him because of it. How many others has he said I love you too, and how many times did he lie about it? He wasn’t about to find out.
Alec walked down the hall and into his old bedroom. He grabbed his jacket off the bed and searched the pockets. His hand emerged gripping a slip of paper with an address scrawled across it. He slid the jacket on and ran to the institute’s front door. He unlocked the door and pulled it open, walking out into the sunlight. The rays were warm on his skin, but did nothing to warm the cold feeling inside his heart. Magnus can never find out about what he’s doing. He ran as fast as he could to the City Hall subway station.
Magnus walked over to Raziella, who laid immobile on the floor. He was about to help her up when beautiful white wings tore a path across her shirt as they burst from her bloody back. Magnus stumbled backwards as they draped over her body. He thrust his hand out in front of himself, blue sparks flying. He clenched his hand and created a steady blue fire. He snapped his ringed fingers and the pain that criss crossed Raziella’s vision subsided. She stood up slowly, white wings flapping behind her back. Her feet lifted slightly above the ground. Magnus grabbed her arm and pulled her back down. There was the sound of footsteps in the hallway, that stopped outside the training room door. Magnus grabbed Raziella’s arm and snapped his fingers. They were standing on a narrow beam looking down on the weapons room. The silver door handle jerked down and the door popped open. From this distance, they were just a silver blur, but Magnus knew enough to know it was Jem. He walked in the room but stopped short, seeing the blood on the floor. “Hello?” He called. Raziella’s wings beat the air behind them quietly, but it was enough to draw Jem’s suspicion. He looked around, confused. “I know you’re in here, I can hear you.” He called again. There was a low creaking coming from underneath Magnus and Raziella. The beam under them, they realized, was the source of the sound. The thin wood beam was buckling under their combined weight, It was only meant to hold up the roof of the institute. And after doing so for so many years, it was going to break. Jem, upon hearing the this, backed up to the far wall, grabbed a knife, named it, and readied for a fight. The wood of the beam finally splintered, bending toward the floor. With one final moan, it split and they seemed to hang suspended in midair like cartoon characters running over a cliff. And then they fell.