A week passed and I felt a little better day by day. There were only a few days left until the summer holidays began and Matt had his degree.
I was eating cereal for breakfast, as Lauren walked in.
"Hey," she said shortly.
I continued to eat, muttered something, but then I smelled something weird. "Hey, what's that smell?"
She turned around, a coffee cup in hand. "I don't know what you mean..."
"It smells like smoke. Somehow like dad when he was so often stressed and sometimes smoked a..." I didn't speak the sentence to the end and looked at her for a long time.
She didn't dare to look me in the eyes, but then she gave up. "Ugh, yeah, okay. I started smoking."
I nodded slightly and said only "Hm. Who knows about it?"
"Harry, Matt, Zayn, Candy... Um, actually everyone, well, except for mom, dad and Chaz."
"How do you want to conceal it in the holidays?"
"I don't know yet..."
Then she put away her cup and took her cell phone out. She smiled and tapped a little. A text message hence.
"Who is it?" I asked and then took another spoonful of cereal.
I swallowed and snorted. "Evan? Evan Beck? The guy from Los Angeles?"
She nodded proudly and handed me her phone. I read a couple of messages and then looked at her.
"Wow," I said. "You did it."
She nodded proudly. "I finally got him."
She took her phone again and I said, "Congratulations."
She smiled and bowed. Then she took her cup and went, as I had the idea of Chaz.
Hm... her boyfriend was Chaz, but she had something with Evan and there was something between her and Zayn... Reminded me very much of myself.
I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts. Then I took another spoonful of cereal and promptly puckered my face. Ugh. It was soft by now.
I got up, took the bowl and tipped it away. Then I went to my room and started cleaning up. When I was finished, I went through a few Cheer exercises. It occupied myself always a while. Music couldn't help me. I was always alone with my thoughts.
I was over Dan by now, but about Jus I still thought far too often.
Dark hair, wonderful eyes, full lips.
Messy bun, watery eyes, chapped lips.
It was the same girl. It was the girl I loved. It was the girl I had hurt so much. It was the girl I had lost.
I sighed and stuffed laundry in my closet. Suddenly my cell phone rang. I took it and looked at the display. Unknown.
"Hello?" I said, and the other voice replied, "Hey, Justin."
I froze. Caitlin.
"What do you want?" I asked.
Was it not enough that I had to spend the holidays with her?
"Aw, it's indeed sweet how much you are looking forward to hear from me," she said and I rolled my eyes.
"What do you want?" I repeated.
Caitlin laughed briefly, then said, "Hey... uh, I want to apologize. I'm sorry. I just overreacted. Can we might meet again and talk about it?"
I thought about her offer. I didn't feel as if she had simply overreacted. I sighed. Should I meet with her or not?
"You know what, Caitlin?" I asked.
"Tell me, Justin" she said and I could hear the smile in her voice.
I enjoyed when I said "I have absolutely no desire to spend more time with you than necessary."
"What?" she said, shocked.
"You've heard correctly. I already have enough stress. I don't need you now" I said and she cleared her throat.
"Do you know what you’re saying? Are you crazy?" she asked in disbelief now.
"Whatever" I said, didn't wait for her answer and just hung up. Still, I could almost see how her mouth fell open and how she stared in disbelief at her phone.
I went to my closet and looked in the mirror.
"Maybe she was right, that I love my career very much. Maybe too much to let others in my life... But otherwise I'd be in the studio now, so that cannot be... I know who I love..." In the moment I looked me straight in the eyes. "Melody."
"Do you really?"
I jumped and turned around. Next to my door were Matt, Harry and Selena standing. I couldn't trust my eyes.
How could people just always sneak into our house?!
I swallowed and then nodded slowly. "Yeah. I really think so."
I stared at Matt's arm, which hung around Selena's shoulder.
"That's good," said Harry. "She loves you too... But since your last, well, appearance... you've hurt her. She cried for hours and was pretty much done. Even if she didn't loved Dan so much as initially, it has hurt her, when she found out that Dan had really cheated on her. And then you came and gave her the rest."
I looked at him and said "I know and I'm sorry. But how can I make it up? She doesn't answer my phone calls or texts."
And that was the moment Sel spoke. "Harry has told me and Matt everything and I have a plan."
A few minutes later we were sitting in our living room and had spoken about the plan. When we on our fly to Hawaii, Matt would change places with me... what he would tell Mel only in the plane. I would sit the whole flight next to her and she had a good chance to not just ignore me: there were always partner's seats and the flight lasted eleven hours. The only thing that bothered me was that it was so incredibly long until we were flying on holiday.
Two hours later we had cleared everything and Matt, Harry and Sel wanted to leave, when I asked Selena "Can we talk a minute? Please." She had treated me cool all the time and I felt pretty bad.
"Okay," she finally said.
We went into the kitchen and she said "Let's talk."
"I'm so sorry what I did to you. You didn't deserve to find out like that... And I really did love you, I swear." And then I told her the whole truth. How I got to know Mel and how sorry I was and that I nevertheless still felt something for Selena... more friendship. She was a great girl, but not "The One".
When I was done I looked at her apologizing.
Sel had tears in her eyes. Was that a good or a bad sign?
But then she started smiling.
The next day I woke up very early. Although it was Sunday, I couldn't go back to sleep. It was horrible. I had ordered my thoughts. Justin had slipped to the back of my mind. I had to focus on something else than him in my life.
I checked my phone. No new messages. My wallpaper was Harry and I, as we grimaced. I sighed.
The days and weeks went horribly slow by.
At the farewell ceremony of the Seniors we got a day off.
Mom tugged impatiently at Matt's gown. The blue made his eyes beaming with excitement. Dad had placed a hand proudly on his shoulder and Lauren shot photos. Harry was with the family of Malik and pressed Tamina's hand. They shared excited words and Zayn tugged at his shirt unhappily.
After the boring speech of our Rector, the seniors received their diplomas and finally threw their caps in the air. A thunderous applause followed and everyone laughed freely. The school orchestra played something and after heartbreaking goodbyes we left the school grounds. Along with the family of the Malik's we went to eat something in a trendy restaurant. After a short time, Selena also joined our group. Harry sat with Tamina, Lauren with Zayn, Matt with Selena and our parents talked.
Once again I was the only one left and joined only a few times in conversations. Otherwise, I smiled a lot, tried not to think too much and ate.
Hours later we were back at home and I had already changed my clothes again. It was time for a party, in which we celebrated our Seniors before they went to college. I didn't really look forward to it.
Matt would finally take off and go on a collage a few hours away.
Harry was after the summer vacation on another continent.
Then only Lauren and I were still living in this house and this will be very lonely.
"Pull yourself together," I whispered, stroked my hair and went to my door.
My hand remained on the catch and I stared at the wood of the door. Should I go to this party or not? I wore the right clothes, wore the right make up. I was ready to celebrate. But somehow I lacked the motivation. I sighed and turned the handle.
Two hours later I was dancing with Tam to a fast beat. Harry left us and wanted to get another round of shots. I could feel the eyes of others on us as we danced. Candice was also somewhere in our near, but at the moment I didn't see her. Chaz hadn't come; he didn't know one of the elders, except Matt, and had no desire to cross Zayn's way all the time. Lauren had told me that he had asked her not to go, but just as I saw it, it was the last chance to experience something great with our friends like this big party. She tried for hours to persuade Zayn to dance, but he only repeated again and again that he couldn't dance. They drank together and laughed a lot.
I smiled at Tamina and she said "I'm going to look after Harry. He takes too long!"
I nodded and as soon as she was gone, I felt a pair of hands on my waist. I danced with this stranger, but as he began to kiss my neck, I pushed him away from me and removed his hands. I turned around and there stood some sleazy guy I had never seen in my life before.
"What's wrong, baby?" he asked and smiled at me.
Well, it looked like a smile; He pulled a face half high, exposing a row of yellow teeth.
I shook my head and just walked past him, looking for Tamina and Harry.
The hall, which was booked for the party, was huge. Here were about thousands of people. The atmosphere was incredible; only a few girls were crying on the steps. Partly because they had drunk too much, partly because this party should mean the end of their youth.
I made my way through the many people, looked in a few rooms, but nowhere I found them. I grabbed myself a drink and sipped my cup when I ran on.
"Have you seen Tamina?" I asked Zeke, one of our senior quarterbacks. He let his eyes wander over me and finally shook his head.
"Nope, sorry. Do you want to dance?" he asked and I laughed.
"Okay," I said, drank my cup and set it down somewhere.
Then I took his hand and followed him back to where I came from. On the dance floor arrived, he let go of my hand and put his head back.
Then he threw his hands in the air and yelled, "This is just the beginning!"
Now everybody threw their fists in the air and patted him on the shoulder. I clapped and laughed and roared with Zeke and he watched me with a smile. We danced for a while until suddenly Harry and Tamina were with us.
"I've been looking for you!" we said in unison and laughed. Harry was carrying a tray full of shots and Tamina defended the small glasses in front of anyone who would take one.
"Are you also coming, Z?" she asked and then nodded with a smile. Presumably he had agreed.
"All right," she said, and we followed her and Harry.
We sat in a cozy corner, which was somewhat truncated. The music still had to be pretty loud, I felt it. Harry put the tray in our midst and each took a drink.
"Let's drink on our last school years and everything that is still to come!" Tam said and we raised our glasses.
"Cheers," Zeke said and winked at me.
Gradually we emptied the small plastic glasses and threw them crumpled behind us. Zeke and Tamina had been together in many courses and had known each other since childhood. They laughed and outdid themselves with stories.
I smiled at Harry and he mouthed "How are you?"
I leaned toward him and said, "Much, much better."
We smiled at each other and looked back to Tam and Zeke.
"I'm so glad I'm here today," I said and they smiled at me.
"Me too," Zeke slurred and I had to laugh.
We emptied the remaining glasses and decided to go dancing again. Zeke cupped my waist and I leaned a little to him as I stretched my arm up and put my hand on his neck. Harry and Tamina danced just as closely as we and the alcohol burned in our veins. I closed my eyes and gave me to the beat that controlled my heart.
The next day I woke up with a headache and stretched. Slowly I opened my eyes and looked around. The walls were white, the room was small and I was lying on a huge bed. Nope, that was not my room.
I looked beside me and discovered a half-naked Zeke. Next to him laid Katy, a girl I barely knew. She had pulled the blanket up under her chin. I could only hope that she was wearing something.
I bit my lip and finally looked down at me. I was wearing a gray shirt and shorts that were way too large. My dress was lying on a chair, my converse laid next to it. Luckily, my purse was also here. My heart began to beat strongly against my chest and as quietly as possible, I stood up.
I had no memories of the previous night and I could only hope that nothing had happened. Slowly I pulled at the blanked and sighed with relief, when I discovered that Katy wore a shirt. But that had nothing to say, right? I grabbed my bag and opened an adjoining door. The room turned out to be a bathroom. I closed the door quickly behind me, sat down on the floor and leaned against the bathtub. From my pocket I rummaged quickly my phone and checked my messages.
Last evening was very beautiful; we didn't get time to tell you how pretty you looked. Dinner tonight together xx
Meat us outside, the cap is her whsjiiouh
Didn't see you anymore… Going to sleep 2night at Zayn's and Matt at Selena's, cu x
Were waitn outside, huuuurrrrayayyy
WHY IS YOUR ROOM EMPTY WHERE ARE YOU
Harry is worrying, where are you?? x
WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?! ANSWER IMMEDIATLEY WHEN YOU GET THIS
SERIOUSLY MELODY DANA SULLIVAN
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU JUST LEAVE THIS HOUSE AND DIDNT TELL ANYONE OR LEFT A MESSAGE
I guess I'll see you at the Saturday in three weeks… I don't really know what to say anymore.
I deleted Justin's message and called Harry.
"For God's sakes, Melody! Finally!" he said as his face appeared on my display. "Where the hell are you?! Why didn't you answer?! Why did you leave your room again?!"
Leave my room… again? So I was at home after the party?
"Uh, sorry, Haz...," I tried to apologize.
"Are you okay?" Tamina asked.
"Do you realize that I almost freaked out? Nobody has seen you, we were at this party again and you weren't there! So where the fucking hell are you?!" Harry yelled at me.
I closed my eyes, took a breath and said with a small voice "I don't know, Harry. I- I can barely remember anything."
I opened my eyes again. He looked at me in disbelief and said "Oh God, Melody…"
"But I think I'm at Zeke's..."
"I woke up next to him… and Katy," I admitted and swallowed.
Tamina looked at me with wide eyes, while Harry started laughing and said "Melody, I don't believe you."
"Want a proof?" I asked, stood up and unlocked the door slowly.
I looked into the small room and noticed that nothing had changed since I left. I showed him where I was and who laid on the bed and then entered the bathroom again.
"Believe me now?" I asked and he nodded.
"Stay where you are, Tam and I are coming to get you."
"I know where he lives, it's not far away from my home," she said and nodded.
"But, uh, why is Zeke almost naked? Is Katy wearing something? Melody, what did you do?!" he asked.
I bit my lip and run a hand trough my hair. "I- I don't know… I"ll get my things and wait for you outside, it's not that late, right?"
"It's four in the afternoon, honey," Harry said dryly and I stared at him.
"Okay… then I'll just wait here and you text me again?"
They nodded and Harry said "Try to remember."
The call ended and I tried to take a deep breath. Slowly I dared a look into the mirror and raised an eyebrow. Even though I had to be pretty wasted, my make up was removed and my hair brushed. I had an awful taste on my tongue, so I rinsed out my mouth. I let my gaze wander through Zeke's bathroom and it was pretty cleaned up. I stretched and had an idea. Maybe I had taken some photos?
I clicked on my gallery and new photos popped up. I switched trough them. There were only a few from last night.
Zeke and Katy kissing, us three smiling, laughing, drinking, pulling faces, Zeke kissing my cheek, half naked Zeke, sleeping Katy... I looked at these photos over and over again, but I didn't remember a lot. Obviously we were having fun, but... was that everything? Did we only lie in that bed?
I bit my lip again, closed my eyes and concentrated.
I remembered how I entered my room with Harry and Tamina. Both were very sleepy, while I was still full of energy... And then I called someone... or someone called me. I changed my shoes and opened my window and... I didn't jump, right? My room was on the third floor. I didn't feel pain, I was fine. Perhaps someone has caught me?
I looked again at the photos and noticed something: there were a few videos. I never took videos.
I pressed play on the first one.
"Come on, jump, I'll get you!" Zeke said, standing on the grass beside the tree next to my window.
It was lighting up outside and the sun was stretching her arms out.
Then he laughed and said again "Come on, jump!"
The view was coming closer to him and as he set it down, he laughed and said "You are crazy, M!"
Then we started running and the video ended.
That's how I got out of my room. I jumped. What?!
I clicked on the next video.
Now we were already in his room, lying on his bed, camera on me.
"Hi, I'm Melody and I've danced the whole night and I'm still not tired!" I said and yawned.
The camera was passed to me and now I was recording a laughing Zeke, already not wearing his shirt.
"And I'm Zeke and I'm wet, because Miss Party-till-we-die has spilled a drink over me," he laughed again and the camera came closer to his face, as I bended forward to give him a kiss on the cheek.
Then my screen went dark, probably the camera view was on the sheets of his bed now.
As I wanted to click on the next video, suddenly the phone was picked up again.
"Supplies!" Katy said, who came in the room, had clamped a few bottles under her arm and a huge smile on her face. "Back off of that boy, M, he's going to be mine."
She winked and Zeke walked towards her, laughing, taking a few of the bottles. Then he opened them and gave one to me.
"Another toast on a memorable night with my two favorite girls!"
Now the screen went dark again and my phone showed me that the video was over. There wasn't a third, so I checked the details about the second one. Time: 07:49:28 AM.
I swallowed and a message popped up on my screen.
I took my purse and opened the bathroom door. Katy and Zeke were still asleep. I slipped into my converse, took my dress and opened the door Katy was coming in on the video. A short hallway appeared and I closed the door behind me. I walked cautiously and soon found the front door.
It was a small flat, probably Zeke's own. I opened the door and closed it behind me, before I ran to the car my saviors sat in.
Tamina hit the gas the moment I closed the door and I quickly buckled up. When I looked up, Harry was staring at me.
"You still look innocent and unaware."
"I woke up like this, okay? So I- I don't know. But I found a few photos and even two videos...," I said and he raised an eyebrow.
"Why the hell should you record something? You never do that."
"I know… I was surprised too. I'll show you when we're at home?"
He nodded and turned away.
I stared out my window and took a deep breath. Without further ado I fold my hands and closed my eyes.
For the love of God, please, don't let me have done something yesterday I'll regret forever.
Please don't let me have done something I wouldn't have also done when I would've been sober.
Please don't let me be... pregnant.
**** FIRST AUTHORS NOTE EVER ****
So, I'm starting this book with a big bang!
THIS is the sequel to "SPARKS", so please read this one first. You don't have to, but it'll help you to get the storyline.
Melody is a party badass, ouuuuuuuh.
Please comment, I want to know what you think!
Lots of Love xx