I slumped down in his chair and I chose to sit with my legs wide apart. The headmaster looked at me warningly, but I couldn't bother. I heard my mom talking to him, but I couldn't care about what they said. I noted that there was a hole in my pants and I let one finger find it's way into the hole. I pulled around with my finger so that the hole got bigger. It tickled a little against my skin, but I refused to smile. I saw that my mom was serious and she certainly heard that I wasn't always in school. I already knew that the headmaster wanted to get rid of me. I was a student that nobody could cope with and I didn't care about anything. I was already tired about the hell in my life and I loved to instead doing things as I liked to do. I often was down in the center. There were many interesting people, who always had a moment to talk to me. At school I was alone, because everyone thought I was dangerous. I dressed in black, I was black and I lived black.
"I don't know what to do with her." I heard mom say, and I heard in the talk that she and my dad did everything for me. I got clothes, I had food and I got all that as they felt that I needed. I snorted. My mom didn't know what attention was. She had no idea what love meant. She was happy that I wasn't dead yet and that she had managed to keep me alive.
"I know she's a problem." I heard the principal say and he presented some overlap in front of mom. "There are schools that take care of such as her and I suggest you talk to your husband about this proposal."
I smiled awry. I didn't want to go to school. Had they didn't understand that I wasn't interested. They talked about my that my education was important and they talked about my future. I swallowed and I gritted. They didn't fucking had anything to do with my life. I did what I wanted and I didn't listen to them. My mom hated me, my dad was cheating and the headmaster had a thought that everyone had the same chance, but not me. Therefore, I gave him cold glances and the hole in my pants got bigger.
"But there's no solution here at school?" Mom asked praying. The Headmaster shook his head and he looked at me as if I were a garbage bag. He hated me and I saw that his eyes looked through me. The truth was that although I hated him. He was a fucking old man who believed that students would smile and nod when he said something.
"We have no other solution." he said it felt like he smirked at me. He knew he would escape me. He knew I would vanish away, and immediately the school would get better numbers to show up.
"And what does it mean to send her away?" Mom asked. I heard on her that that was the last solution. She wanted to show off a good daughter for her friends. She wanted everyone to see how perfect we were in our family, but I wasn't on that perfect. We weren't perfect at all and we lacked everything that normal families had.
"She will go to a school where others have the same problem." said the headmaster and immediately I threw cold glances at him. They talked as if I wasn't there. They talked over my head and they didn't see me as a person. I was there, I was born and I lived, but according to the headmaster, I was crap.
"But her mood?" Mom asked. He smiled and he courted her. He showed that face as parents liked.
"They have a solution for everything." he said and then he looked at me. "What do you say? Is this a good solution Sam?"
I snorted. He said my name as if I were a plague. I had a name as suited to a guy. My dad had wanted a son, but I arrived, a girl! They chose to keep the name, but not to keep me.
"And?" I hissed up. "You're not listening to me anyway?"
He laughed just because mom was there, but I saw the hatred in his eyes.
"We doing this to your own best and we are doing this for your sake."
I grabbed the hole in my pants and I broke it up so that my knee popped up. Mom gasped, but she wasn't surprised.
I looked coldly at her.
She fell silent, because she didn't dare to say those words to me, as she normally would said, not when another person was in the room.
"It's a great school!" filled the headmaster in. "I promise that she will learn more against if she stay here."
I snorted and I looked at him. Mom had already bought his lie. They get rid of a problem and I end up somewhere else.
Sam, that was me. I was born into a wealthy family and I was the only daughter. My parents had high expectations of me, but I was the black sheep of the family. I was the one who didn't listen and they actually got themselves to blame. I got everything I pointed at, ever since I was born, but that was all. When I got older, it was as if I realized that they bought me. They bought my love and I did resistance. It started as a small "No!" until I began to totally derail. There was no one who listened to my opinions and the only thing my friends wanted was my money. They were my friends just because I had rich parents and they saw me as a thing that could help them in the future. It felt like everyone had a reason to be with me, but I had no reason to live. I cut my arm and I tested drugs. Now, when I was sixteen years old, my parents realized that I wasn't the daughter they wanted. I was a masterpiece and they had created me. I looked through people and I could see in your face when you lied. It was as if I had a sixth sense and I used it daily. I knew there wasn't a single person who listened to me and there wasn't a single person who loved me. It was as if I was the last person on earth who should be born. I was a freak and I wasn't worthy to life.
I would end up in a boarding school. I knew it long before my dad had said yes. I knew they wanted to send me away and I knew that no one wanted me to stay. I packed my bag with my black clothes and I took all that as meant something to me. My diary, my computer and a few books. My life took place in a bag.
I didn't resist the day when they would drive me away. Maybe I sensed that this was the beginning of my life? Maybe I understood that everything was better against that life as I had? I was hateful to the world but then I didn't know that I would meet him, he who taught me to love. When I left my home, I was filled with black thoughts, I was so to dark that I should be afraid of myself.
"Make sure you sharpen yourself up!" Mom said to me. We sat in the back seat and our private drives drove the car. I snorted, as I always did. She sighed and I realized that even my mom felt that all was lost.
"Please try!" she whispered, and she looked at me with her pleading eyes. I didn't look at her. I didn't want anything to do with her and I chose not to respond.