Yes the main point of loving is to keep your heart open.
But to keep your heart open doesn't mean to let anyone come and steal it from you.
To keep your heart open: is to keep it pure when everything around you is poisoned.
To keep your heart open: is to have faith and trust in something, in someone greater than you. In God.
To keep your heart open: is to stay hopeful no matter what the world shows you.
To keep your heart open: is to provide warmth and kindness to what ever is around you.
To keep your heart open: is to dream and wish, to reach the rainbows and go over the seven skies in your imagination.
To keep your heart open: is to love. Not fall in love. But love. Love everything you have. Love yourself. Love your life. Love your relatives and dear ones. Love that cat you feed every morning. Love that stranger who smiled at you yesterday. Love. Love. Love. This love is pure love, the love that will make you a better you.
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I jump out of bed at the sound of my father shouting over the phone. My ears automatically are pinned to the door, trying to catch every word that is said. I press my body towards the door, my right cheek squashed into the hard wood.
"I said I will send the money soon, Jasper! Why cannot you wait a couple more weeks, eh?"
There was a slight pause as the person on the other end of the line replies - Jasper.
"The first merchandise is going to arrive in 3 days, for God's sake! YES! Yes. Yeah. I will. The bag will be between your hands by the end of the month. Thank you. I appreciate it."
My father's voice was gone, and after some seconds, I hear the main entrance door open and close shut to prove my father was off to work. Although both of us go to the same place every morning, he never cared enough to wait for me and drive me to school along with him.
I hurry into the shower, my mind wondering, full of questions.
Who is Jasper? I never heard about that friend of dad's.
what merchandise is my father buying and selling?
When did he start working in trading business?
Why is he working in such a thing?
I put on some jeggings and a sweater, then stride to mother's room to check on her. The door opens smoothly and I pop my head inside.
She sits up in her bed, her face pale and exhausted, eye bags floating above her cheekbones like dark clouds confessing the bad, tiring mood. Even though, she forces a hopeful smile and breathes "morning".
"good morning, mother"
"why are you not ready for school yet? you are late already!" I could see a slight relief in her eyes, a little shimmer that shows how thankful she is I am here.
"How can I leave you in this state, mommy!" I flexibly say, trying to brighten up the mood a bit.
"I am so sorry for what you saw yeserday!" the forced smile suddenly vanishes, aging marks showing on her face. It is so hard to see my mother so weak and broken up inside like this; something I thought I would never see. My mom and dad were in love and married, blissed with banks of money and a child, a perfect life if you would ask me. They do have their ups and downs, but for him to - so carelessly - hurt her, that I have never imagined happening. Another reason for me to not believe in love.
"Mama, what is happening? What is all of this about?" My hands cup hers, my eyes desperately glued to find some answers.
She lets out a heavy sigh, then clears her voice, keeping her eyes away from mine, surfing the blankets in front of her as if she is trying to figure out what to say or where to start. "Your father-", she swallows, trying not to break down, "your father fell for another, and married her, four years ago. He named all his belongings by her, including the money stored - everything. Except the school and this house. I found out last year, when she was done with him and demanded divorce. She was gone, taking everything with her. Now your father has many debts to pay, and he cannot get enough money from the school only. It was my fault yesterday, I said some things we were trying to leave behind and move on." By now her face already streaming wet with tears, but she went on, "You know, I love him. I do not want to let him go. I would rather lose everything but you two. But it is getting all too much. It is like my happily ever after isn't anymore. His love for me is spent and gone", one sob was let out after another, until she completely broke down. I wrapped her in my arms, wanting to do anything to stop my mom from crying.
I have never seen my mother so broke before, which made me cringe with fright. If love is supposed to be a beautiful thing, how can it do this to people? How can it make them cry; make their hearts bleed? I never believed in love, but now, I feel afraid of having slight feelings for anyone, it is too much pain.
She cried so much she dozed off, asleep. I lay her down, turn the lights off, and go back to my room. I put on my school uniform, and although I am already an hour late, and hurry to the bus stop. I try to call Sierra but her phone is off, so is Remi's, so I end up standing in the hot sun, wishing I had a driving licence.
A red Chevrolet stringray stops in front of me, and the tinted window rolls down until curly strands of hair and grey eyes are staring at me. I blink a few times, staring back at him.
"Seems like fate keeps bumping us together!", Kieran smirks.
"Or you're stalking me", I mumble to myself, looking at the road, hoping the bus would show up. He smirks at me, his eyes focused, staring at mine in a thoughtful way.
"Need a ride?", he finally asks, and for once he is not asking in a flirty way. He was actually being friendly, really. I will not fall for your tricks, Noah!
"No thanks", I said without meeting his grey eyes.
"Come on, baby doll, don't be so hard! I will take you wherever you want to go, as quickly as possible." He then puts on some puppy eyes, raising his eyebrows. I roll my eyed with a sigh, trying to resist blushing at how adorable he looks. "Fine, just this time. "
I hop into the passenger seat. His car was so clean, without anything laying around.
"So, where do you want to go?"
"Oh my goodness, come on Leona! I can show you the world, shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?", he started singing, his voice so sweet and manly at the same time, hittin all the notes like he was born to do it.
"Oh don't start, now!" Silence settled in until I realised he was waitin for mw to answer. "School, Noah!"
"I can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder. Over, sideways and under, on a magic Chevrolet ride!", he continues, playing his part perfectly, with all the emotions and hand gestures.
"I'm not skipping school, bad boy!", I say, chuckling from his serious acting. He would be amazing as a cekebrity, a singer or actor. Inherited probably!
" A whole new world. A new fantastic point of view! No one to tell us no or where to go, or say we're only dreaming", my hands were now cupped in his, his eyes really glittering.
"A whole new world! A dazzling place I never knew, but when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear, that now I'm in a whole new world with you!", I smile, with a slight nod. He smiles back, approving, and places a kiss on my cheek. I wanted to protest, but I figured I would just shut up.
"That is my girl!", he says. We finish the song till the end, laughing at each other. I was having the best time in about two years. Two years filled with strict rules, family problems, and friends who do not care one bit! I would be lying if I say I was not thankful for Kieran.
We both sit silent for a while when he says, "you are a good singer, Ayna!"
I giggle. "Thanks, not as good as you though, Kieran! Where are we going by the way?"
"you'll see", he smiles knowingly, his eyes focusing on the road. His pale skin made his lips stand out: blood-red lips that looked like they gained their colour from eating a red lollipop. His curls were curled in a way they do not look mere anymore! All that added to to his prince-like look.
I watch the scenery from the window, which changes from buildings and skycrapers to green fields and fresh blue skies. After some while the air smells more fresh and salty, with a bit of humidness. I love the smell, although my brain would not tell me what it was. The road was surrounded with mountains from both sides that I can not see what was behind. I keep watching closely, waiting for the mountains to disappear, for me to see what was behind; beach. I breathe deeply into the air, enjoying the smell of contrasting sand and ocean, then turn to face Kieran.
"I miss going to the beach! Have not been here in such a lng time!", I exclaim. He smiles, showing one dimple on his right cheek which I notice for the first time, and automatically point out, "you have dimples!"
"Only on my right cheeck, just like you only have one on your left!", he says without looking at me. He took note of such little detail, which was nice!
We parke and set off to the beach, strolling by the waves. I take off my shoes and knee-high socks, letting my feet wash into the water. Kieran takes his shoes, too.
"So, your father is touring?", I ask after a while of silence.
He looks at me and nods. "Yeah, I barely see him! The house is all for me now!"
"what about your mother?"
"She...passed away.", He mumbles. I whisper a "sorry" and he shakes his head, going on, "Along with my younger sister when I was five."
"Oh...I am so sorry to bring such a topic up! May they rest in peace"
"It's okay you did not know", he smiles such a sad smile, his eyes closed. I realise he was about to cry, and I quickly try to cheer him up.
My hand curls around his arm, the other pointing at a boat at the distance, "Hey it's a boat!". An old couple sits, balancing on the watering smoothly.
"want to get in one?", he winks. There comes the bad boy back! I nodded and we ran up to the man who owned them. Kieran was getting us a boat when my phone rang. Father.
"Hello, Papa", I answer. The background voices were loud with ambulance-like noises. My mind automaically starts making up the most dramatic scenarios and I get anxious.
"WHERE ARE YOU, YOU STUPID THING?", he shouts, his voice harsh and loud. The blood in my veins turns cold and I tremble.
"I am, um, at school. Papa what is happening?"
"HURRY TO THE HOSPITAL YOU UNGRATEFUL B****!", He shuts the phone and I rush to Kieran.
"I have to go! Please, right now, please! Quickly no time!", I blab to him. He looks surprised and confused, but keeps calm.
"What is wrong?"
"Please, quickly! Now, to the hospital." He looks annoyed but gives the boat back and we hurry to the car. The whole car ride, Kieran looks really angry, his grey eyes a dark blue. He does not say a word but takes me to the hospital. We park and get off, my father surprised by the presence of a boy with me. A hot boy.
There was no time for him to ask about Kieran, he simply says, "Your mother is in ICU." and gets into a car and leaves. He looks drunk, his voice loud and eyes unfocused on life. I do not know what kind of love such a cold heart could hold for mother. My hatred for him increases by the minute these days, and something inside of me says it is all behind that merchandise. Why would mamabe in the hospital? Did he hit her again? He was drunk. Drunk.
He's abusing my mama, and I have to do something.
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Hey you guys! Did you like this chapter? hope you did! please fave, like and comment! I wanna know what you think about it :)
BTW have you tried lollipops/candy that colours your mouth? I love the red ones, it's like lipstick for free ^^ other colours look funny, haahaha xD